How to deal with Justified Anger

(How to harness anger, rather than avoiding, or staying stuck in it.)

Over the summer, as fires raged across the globe, I reflected on my emotions and also my actions and reactions when faced with a huge problem like the Climate Crisis.

I’ve been noticing that people tend to fall into two camps:? Avoidance, or getting stuck in justified anger.? Some people seem to be carrying on as if nothing is happening.? Others are very angry, blaming electoral systems, big companies, politicians.? I noticed that avoidance upsets and frustrates me. ?And that anger leaves me feeling “Yes, but what difference does that anger make?? It just feels so uncomfortable!”?

I started to question what the alternative is.

The more I thought about this subject, the more I noticed that this is the same question that plagues people when dealing with difficult relationships.? There may be justified anger about the way someone has behaved, but how can you move forward?? Have do you resolve the anger or change the situation?

Managing anger is also a huge challenge for leaders.?? You might be working in non-ideal and sometimes impossible situations.? But how can you navigate your way through your own feelings, so that you respond appropriately to justified anger from your teams?? What can you do if you feel angry about the situation?

In today’s article, I want to reflect on the first step to dealing with justified anger.?

Awareness.

Have you noticed that there are some things in your life that you know are a problem or make you cross, but you’ve been talking about them for years?

A tricky relationship perhaps?? Or problems in your workplace?

Talking to your friends about it. Complaining to your partner.

One of the challenges of justified anger is that, unless you turn towards it and gain clarity on what exactly you’re angry about, you won’t deal with it.

So, this is my first question for you.?

What are you REALLY angry about?? Is it anger, or is there a softer emotion underneath the anger, such as fear or grief?

This might feel very uncomfortable to look at, and bear in mind that avoidance is very powerful.? Your brain will try to make you look away!

But if you were to truly open your eyes and face up to this situation that bugs you, what do you find?

As you open the door a crack, to look at these feelings, you might wonder “how far back do I go?? This anger feels big, and all encompassing!? So where do I start?”?

I encourage you to start with the facts:?

What do you know to be true??

That you’ve been worrying about this for a while??

That you’ve tried, and failed to solve the situation??

Stick to facts rather than interpretations, and challenge yourself to be honest and courageous.

Once you’ve got clear on the facts, you’re going to be in a better position to tackle the situation, and that’s what we’ll tackle next.

Follow me to read the next steps in this series, and for more inspirational resources on Courageous Compassion.?

The LIVE How to Harness Justified Anger workshop is on Weds 4th October:?? https://nicola-harker.mykajabi.com/justified-anger