How to Deal with Jealousy in the Workplace

To watch the extended YouTube version of this article, click here .

To listen to the audio version, click here .

I did say that I would move away from the topic of bullying and narcissism for a while. However, I was so busy last week, that I haven't managed to get much writing done. So, I decided to post this as it was already in the bag. New topics will resume later this week!

Over the past few weeks, I have been delving more deeply into some of the most common narcissistic traits. Today, I'm discussing narcissistic jealousy.

Narcissism and jealousy are two powerful emotions that, when combined, can create a toxic dynamic in relationships, whether personal, professional, or social.

While jealousy is a common human emotion, often rooted in insecurity or fear of loss, when it manifests in a narcissist, it can take on a more destructive form.

Narcissistic jealousy is not just about envy; it’s about control, power, and the deep-seated need to maintain a superior self-image at all costs.

In this article, we will explore the relationship between narcissism and jealousy, how these traits manifest in the workplace, and what you can do if you find yourself entangled with a narcissist who is driven by jealousy.

In the extended YouTube version of this article, I discuss narcissistic jealousy and how it can manifest in romantic relationships and friendships, as well as professional relationships. Click here to watch.

The Roots of Narcissistic Jealousy

Jealousy in narcissists is often rooted in their deep insecurities and fragile self-esteem. Despite their outward appearance of confidence, narcissists are highly sensitive to any perceived threat to their superiority or self-image.

This sensitivity can trigger intense jealousy, particularly when they see others receiving attention, praise, or success that they believe should be theirs.

There are several reasons why jealousy manifests so strongly in narcissists:

1.??????? Fragile Ego

Narcissists have a fragile ego that is easily threatened by the success or happiness of others. When someone else receives attention or recognition, the narcissist may feel that their own status is diminished.

2.??????? Need for Control

Narcissists crave control over their environment and the people in it. When they perceive that someone else is gaining power, influence, or admiration, they may become jealous as a way to reassert their dominance.

3.??????? Fear of Abandonment

Despite their outward bravado, narcissists often harbour deep fears of being abandoned or rejected. When someone they care about (or someone they want to control) pays attention to others, the narcissist’s jealousy can be triggered by the fear of losing that person’s loyalty or affection.

4.??????? Comparative Mindset

Narcissists frequently compare themselves to others, often to an unhealthy degree. If they see someone else as more successful, attractive, or popular, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy, leading to jealousy.

Manifestations of Narcissistic Jealousy in the Workplace

In the workplace, narcissistic jealousy can create a toxic environment where competition, manipulation, and sabotage are commonplace. A narcissistic colleague, subordinate or boss may feel threatened by your success, skills, or popularity with coworkers and superiors. These behaviour can often manifest by:

1.??????? Sabotaging Success

A narcissistic coworker or boss might undermine your work, spread false rumours, or take credit for your ideas in an attempt to diminish your achievements and elevate themselves.

2.??????? Micromanagement

A narcissistic boss who feels threatened by your competence might resort to micromanagement, scrutinising every aspect of your work and setting you up for failure.

3.??????? Exclusion from Opportunities

Narcissistic jealousy can lead to being excluded from important meetings, projects, or networking opportunities. The narcissist might try to keep you in a subordinate position by denying you opportunities for advancement.

In these scenarios, the narcissist’s jealousy is driven by a fear that your success will eclipse their own, leading them to engage in behaviours that sabotage your career and create a hostile work environment.

In the extended YouTube version of this article, I also discuss narcissistic jealousy and how it can manifest in romantic relationships and friendships as well as professional settings. You can watch it here .

Coping with Narcissistic Jealousy

Dealing with a narcissist’s jealousy can be incredibly challenging, but there are strategies you can employ to protect yourself and maintain your well-being while in the workplace.

1. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with the narcissist and stick to them. For example, you might insist on keeping communication professional and avoid engaging in office gossip.

2. Limit Interaction

If possible, limit your interaction with the narcissist. This might mean distancing yourself from a narcissistic boss or coworker and engaging through emails or virtually as much as possible.

3. Avoid Engaging in Power Struggles

Narcissists thrive on power struggles and will often try to provoke you into reacting. Stay calm, and assertive, and refuse to engage in their manipulative tactics. For example, if a narcissistic colleague tries to undermine you, document your work and remain focused on your tasks rather than getting drawn into a conflict.

4. Seek Support

Dealing with a narcissist’s jealousy can be emotionally draining. Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or coworkers who can provide guidance and perspective. Talking to someone who understands your situation can help you navigate the challenges more effectively.

5. Consider Professional Help

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist no matter what the relationship and the jealousy is leading to abuse or significant emotional distress, it may be necessary to seek professional help. Therapy or coaching with someone who knows about narcissism can help you build coping strategies and explore options for safely distancing yourself from the narcissist.

There is a huge caveat here: if you do decide to go to therapy or coaching, please make sure that the therapist or coach is thoroughly versed in narcissism. I’ve coached people who have tried therapy before working with me. However, their therapist was completely unaware of narcissistic bullying, which made matters considerably worse for my clients.

The Wrap-Up

Narcissistic jealousy is a complex and destructive force that can wreak havoc on romantic, platonic, or professional relationships. It is rooted in the narcissist’s deep insecurities and their need to control, dominate, and maintain a superior self-image.

Understanding how narcissistic jealousy manifests and learning how to protect yourself can help you navigate these challenging relationships more effectively.

Remember, while you can’t change a narcissist’s behaviour, you can take steps to protect your own well-being and maintain your sense of self-worth.

By setting boundaries, seeking support, and refusing to engage in power struggles, you can mitigate the impact of narcissistic jealousy and create a healthier, more balanced life.

What Next?

Again, in the extended YouTube version of this article, I discuss narcissistic jealousy and how it can manifest in both romantic relationships and friendships, as well as professional relationships. Click here to watch.

If there are any subjects you’d like me to cover in upcoming content or if you'd like coaching support with anything I discuss in my videos/articles, please DM or email me at [email protected] .

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As always, thanks for your support.

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