How to deal with frustration in UX design and research

As designers and researchers, we work hard to reduce frustration in users of our product or service, but how good are we at reducing our own frustration??

There are many ways to deal with frustration, but I’d like to share the strategies I have learned over the last 20+ years and which I share with the people I mentor. It has given us satisfying results, and I hope it can help you too.

Understanding is key

Designers and researchers often face challenging problems and constraints we cannot eliminate. Therefore, we need to identify and understand the limitations (what we cannot change or control) and work around them to find a viable solution.

In the case of dealing with frustration, the first step is to understand those constraints, so we can move away from complaining or putting up. The knowledge we gain is what we need to start ideating solutions. It also helps us shift from a negative space to a place where we can let our inner creative problem-solver shine.?

Although I’m far from being a stoic person, I have found it very useful to pay close attention to this one essential precept from Stoicism:?

We can only control our actions (what we do, think and say).

We cannot control anything else, not even how we feel.? You may try, but success is not guaranteed. You can only hope to influence things outside your control (which is much better than feeling you can’t do anything).

Once we understand the constraints and what we can and cannot control, we can start ideating solutions.

So, the key is understanding the limitations and constraints (what we cannot change or control) and what we can.

But how do we gain this understanding and knowledge?

Given that we already know how to create a good user experience, it is not a far-fetched idea to apply this knowledge to design a good user experience for us. Knowing a bit about research techniques will greatly help you in this regard. (This is an excellent excuse to start learning if you don’t know much about research ;).

Understanding ourselves

The starting point is self-knowledge. Once you know yourself, you can better understand why you feel the way you do, why you make the decisions you make, why you fit (or do not) in your company, why you get frustrated, etc.

Understanding yourself (your bias, expectations, the effect of previous experiences, etc.) also enables you to evaluate your context a bit more objectively.

To understand and get to know yourself, you can use research techniques as you would with any user. Choosing multiple methods will help you triangulate and discover different aspects of yourself.

Here are a few examples of research techniques and methods you can use:

Diary studies?

• This is an excellent technique for collecting data over a long period.
• You can use it to collect data on many different aspects: what frustrates you and why, your behaviour in general or specific situations, your pain points, your motivations, your failures so you can learn, your success, your reactions, etc.

Interviews

• You can interview friends, family members and colleagues to gather data about yourself and triangulate that information with your perception. For example, are there gaps in what other people think of you and what you think of yourself? What insights can you uncover from this data?
• You can interview yourself using tools such as the “personality tests” (truity.com has the most popular ones. 16personalities has only the Myers&Briggs evaluation but has a deeper analysis, even in their free version). To make it more fun (and triangulate data), ask someone who knows you very well and ask them to complete it while thinking of you.?

Observation

• You can do some observation on yourself by recording presentations on video and learning what your presentation style is.
• You can observe ticks, mannerisms, etc. This exercise is not a vanity contest; don’t judge your appearance. Be kind to yourself. Look at yourself to learn.

Benchmarking

• You can benchmark your work history to find patterns and compare behaviours in different contexts. It will also help you analyse
• Motivations,
• expectations,?
• What frustrated you,
• What you enjoyed,
• Why you joined a company,?
• Why you left,?
• What was your relationship with colleagues and bosses,?
• or any other attribute that will shed light on behavioural patterns?

Analysis

You can analyse data from each research individually, but the magic happens when you start linking the dots.? It will be an iterative process and more fun if you can do it with someone else (a good friend, a mentor, etc.).

The objective is to uncover insights, to get to those revelations that surprise you.

As in any research project, you must prioritise where you’ll focus and tackle one issue at a time.

Or you can store the data in your mind to analyse future situations and understand why you reacted the way you did.?

Understanding your audience

We often get frustrated when our clients, stakeholders, or developers don’t understand what we do and make decisions or do something that frustrates us. They are the first audience of our work.?

We may get frustrated with users when they don’t read instructions or complain about every little thing they don’t like. But we don’t get angry with them (I hope you don’t). Instead, we do research and try to understand why they do what they do, what they need, etc., and figure out the best way to interact with them.

Our stakeholders and colleagues are our “users”, the first audience of our work. Have you taken the time to know them as well as your users??

Getting to know these “internal users” is one of the first things I do when engaging with a new client or starting at a company. I have conversations with them and try to identify their motivations, objectives, pain points, behaviour, preferences, etc. try to identify the value they see in what we do.? I observe them in their natural habitat.

Over time, I end up with a pretty good “persona” summary, and I use this information to review how and when I engage them and how I communicate with them. It also helps me adjust my expectations of their actions and reactions. Last but not least, it helps me in my efforts to make our work valued and understood.

You should also ask yourself:?

• How empathetic are you towards your stakeholders and colleagues?
• Do you understand their “language”? (business, development, finance, legal, etc)
• Are there any cultural differences that may affect our relationship?

Understanding the context

Understanding what is happening around you will give you the knowledge to reduce friction with your context. It will help you empathise with the business, be more aligned with your stakeholders and understand the constraints to work more efficiently and with less frustration.

Here are a few activities and questions to get you started:

Ask questions to understand each project. Do you ask questions before accepting an assignment? (why, for whom, what, etc.), or do you just say yes and get down to it? (and then suffer when the project changes, is abandoned or doesn’t yield the (your) expected results?

Reflect on how much you understand the business, its objectives, culture, vision, constraints, opportunities, threats, etc?

Are you aware of the socio-economic pressures on the company or project? Do you read news on the industry sector or the world in general? This knowledge will help you understand what’s going on and what’s coming so you are not surprised when everything gets chaotic or pressure mounts around you.

Put your knowledge into practice.

I chose three scenarios frequently mentioned in my mentoring sessions so you can start applying this newly acquired knowledge. Hopefully, that should give you a few ideas and coping strategies you may want to consider.

1. Do more, faster, now.
2. Do as you’re told
3. Never mind the experience or the user's needs; focus on increasing conversion.

If you don’t relate to these three scenarios but still have frustration at work, the following sections can still give you a few ideas on how to deal with frustration in your situation.

Do more, faster, now.

When an organisation's owners value earning money above all else, are worried about sales or are pressed to meet the expectation of investors, the pressure is high to do more, faster, cheaper (“urgently”) and focus on the short term.??

It can happen that leadership doesn’t know how to achieve their objectives or fix a problem and will change priorities (and their minds) without explaining why (the infamous “throw things at the wall and see what sticks”).?

These situations tend to cause quite a bit of frustration if we dislike chaos or want to add value, but we feel we are not.

The first step is understanding: ourselves, the people around us and the context.

You can start by asking yourself a few questions:

• How does this affect you?
• Why does it affect you?
• What frustrates you about this situation?
• Prioritise the frustrations (like you would with a user’s pain points)??
• etc.

As mentioned, you must also understand your stakeholders and the business/context to start reframing the situation, ideating solutions, and finding a way that works for you in your context.

If you want to avoid getting frustrated when asked to do something that comes up at the last minute or that we suspect will not add much value, you can ask these questions:

• Why is this needed??
• Why is it needed now? What happens if I don’t do it now?
• How is it going to be used, and by whom?
• Is this you are asking me to do truly urgent? Why?
• If I do this, I’ll need to stop something someone else is counting on.
• Do I need to do everything you ask me, or is there a minimum viable solution we can do instead?
• Can I reuse something instead of spending hours on a new presentation?
• Is there someone that can help other than me?

If you want to focus on managing your frustration with a general situation that keeps repeating itself, you could apply Design Thinking, declare the problem and prepare a “How Might We” statement to start an ideation process to solve your frustration.

Here are another few thoughts to keep in mind:

• If you ask the right questions when given a project, you should know what to expect and may learn to anticipate projects that end up on the shelf.
• Adjust your expectations to the situation.?
• Don’t fall in love with every project. Instead, choose the ones that matter the most, find the constraints, and work around them. Try and learn from everything you do and enjoy your craft, even if the project is cancelled or changed.
• Pick your “fights”. If you try to do everything (and perfectly), you will be disappointed and frustrated and may end up with chronic stress. Chronic stress will affect your physical and mental health. Even if you don’t notice the effects of continuing stress, you will see them one day.?
• If the company you work for expects you always to put in “an extra effort” for no extra pay and no apparent benefit to you, ask yourself why you do it.

If none of the above is possible or you tried, but it didn’t work, perhaps you should look for another project or workplace more aligned with your needs. Finding a better match for you will be easier now that you know yourself better.

In the meantime, you still have to go to work. Working in what we love should be enjoyable. But if it is not, and you don’t have a quick way out, you can fight frustration by shifting your focus and reevaluating your priorities.??

• If you can’t reduce your workload, become ultra-efficient to achieve more with less effort.?
• Ask yourself whether you expect your job to give you all the fulfilment you need. If work is stressful and frustrating, look elsewhere for joy and satisfaction: a hobby, friends, the outdoors, etc. Do your job to the best of your ability, but don’t expect more from it than it can give you.
• If you spend all day in front of the computer, find fun or pleasurable activities to care for your body and mind; this will help diffuse your general stress and frustration.

Do as you’re told, and shut up.

If you are frustrated because you must work only on what others told you or because there is a boss up there that dictates what has to be done, then you are working in a hierarchical culture with little or no room for collaboration.?

You may feel frustrated because you are not empowered, don’t have a voice, or they ignore your ideas.

Stop and reflect on why this bothers you. Prioritise. Make a list of the things you can accept or tolerate from time to time and those you can’t because they trigger your frustration.

Here are a few ideas for dealing with this situation and controlling your frustration:

• Ask the right questions at the right time (why, what for, for whom, etc.). Don’t assume anything.
• Find a space where your voice can be heard, and you’ll feel you make valid contributions (i.e. a group of peers to help each other, learn and be inspired, a mentor, etc.)
• If you are a team leader, set up formal collaborative spaces and channels to open up your work so your stakeholders can view your work's progress at any time (and educate them in the process).? (A whiteboard Kanban board works just fine).
• Every little good thing counts in challenging situations, so celebrate each little victory even if it doesn’t feel much.?

If none of the above is possible or satisfying enough, refer to the previous point on finding a more compatible workplace or project.

Never mind the user; increase conversion!

If the company doesn’t have user-focused KPIs (i.e. CSAT Customer Satisfaction), your work on the user’s experience may not be valued or even wanted.?

Getting frustrated because we must work on maximising revenue (sometimes despite the user experience) means we do not understand the constraints or the situation. We cannot control the company's strategy and the decisions that stem from it. What we can control in this situation is what we do, say or think.

We can, for instance:

• Build a case to link user satisfaction with business results. Then, find a champion to help you push for user-related indicators.
• If there are no formal objectives or success metrics, try to identify what the business defines as a success (i.e. more sales, drop in returns, etc.). That’ll give you a clear idea of what you need to achieve. Then use all your interaction, usability and behavioural psychology knowledge.
• Give your stakeholders alternatives to achieve the same or better business results while improving the UX (you will need to measure somehow)
• If you don’t have time for this “evangelisation work”, then become more efficient to free up time.
• Use research methods compatible with the given budget and timeframe.
• Learn free tools if your company; don’t expect to be given the “perfect” tool you’ve requested (but ask for it anyway :)
• Learn as much as possible about business strategy. It will give you a different perspective and widen your perspective.

As we said, if none of the above is possible or satisfying enough, as we mentioned before, it may be time to look for a new workplace or project more aligned with the work you love.

In summary

There is no one ready-made solution that’ll work for everyone; that’s why it’s key that the process starts with gaining knowledge about yourself, your stakeholders and your context and then using it to adapt, reframe, or try different approaches to what there is.?

You can always be more strategic and ask more questions (at the right time).? You can manage your expectations. You have many tools at your disposal; make User Experience a thing you live, not a job you do.

I shared a lot of ideas, but pick one; start small. One small action per day will add up, and in the end, you will get the results you need. Hope this helps!