How to Deal with FEAR

Your breath shortens.

Clammy hands wipe a forehead full of racing thoughts.

Tunnel-vision strains bright lights and you see only hundreds of staring faces.

FEAR closes in all around you, taking hold - and you freeze.

What's next?

Well, that depend's how well you manage this reptilian brain-response (specifically in the amygdala). In fact, your success in life will largely be dictated by your ability to communicate and manage emotions. While facing our fears is not a new subject, it's always pertinent. From personal issues like fear of rejection or phobias, to something we are all encounter like covid, it can feel easy to lose your marbles if you're not prepared.

Fortunately we can attack our fears head on, as Hunter S. Thompson advises.

Here is a short heuristic that helps.

F- Face head on

E- Envision yourself overcoming

A- Anchor your breathing

R- Real or perceived?

Face head-on

By confronting your fears they become less abstract, and therefore more manageable. I like to write down a list of things that need to be addressed (be it difficult conversations, important goals, a reminder to reach out to a colleague, etc) to just get it on paper which also helps with accountability. If we don't isolate and attack each one at a time, we lose control and don't make progress - which we are hardwired to want as humans.

Envision yourself overcoming

Visualization is super powerful, and some of the best athletes and performers in the world use this technique to become the success they see. Sometimes fear can be isolating. Fear can be debilitating. Fear can ruin opportunities. But knowing that it will eventually end and picturing that can prevent you from falling into a chasm. Doris Pickering shares a similar tip on racing sports cars, saying "When you envision successful driving, you start going much faster and having more fun!"

note: 'E' could just as well stand for 'exercise' as getting blood flowing also helps.

Anchor your breathing

Start by controlling your breathing. Deep breaths, through the nose. Slow them down. Use the gif below as a guide for inhaling slowly, and then exhaling slowly. There you go. You've successfully anchored your breathing. Currently, blood vessels around your vital organs are dialating to flood them with nutrients and oxygen. In fact, this famous TED talk by Amy Cuddy speaks directly on how we can change our own body chemistry just by adapting our positions.

Real or Perceived?

A frothing and furious grizzly bear charging straight towards you will ignite a chemical reaction in your brain akin to a fire under your rear. And that's a good thing- it's kept our species alive for a few hundred thousand years. But a lot of fear boils down to social rejection, as excommunication from the group used to mean certain death. We have progressed forward socially and intellectually, but biologically we still share a lot of the same traits- including the sympathetic nerve system based in the Limbic System which includes the aforementioned Fight or flight response to the perception of danger. When you feel threatened and afraid, this instinct protects the body, signaling to release stress hormones that prepare you to fight or run away. The parasympathetic nervous system does the opposite, restoring the body to a calm and relaxed state.

FALSE EMOTIONS APPEAR REAL?

To quote a millennial influence: 'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it's not real?' No bonus points for figuring out who said that.?

There's an old adage which goes 'False Emotions Appear Real'. It used to be the go-to trick to help professionals regain their confidence by convincing them that their fear was unfounded. In the case of physical manifestations of what you're afraid of, let's say ghosts, this can work...sometimes. But an imposing jury or an intimidating board meeting won't disappear like a ghost, so we can use other strategies to self-regulate. These can include listening to music, making jokes, praying, or immersing yourself in a very vividly positive memory. Lastly, be mentally prepared for whatever you need to overcome before it happens. Gradual and repeated exposure in a controlled environment is the best way to overcome a phobia; and there are remarkable individuals like Joel Elfman whose expertise is guiding individuals through this.

A lot of the time though, we are just making it worse by not slowing down and putting these proven tactics to work; in which case our distinguished 32nd president had it right, saying,

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." -Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Well put, Frank- Well put. ??

Interested to learn more about startup tech and psychology? Join the Venture Adventure's newsletter here: https://www.nicklarson.co/ -Nick Larson, co-founder at Willow