How to deal with disappointment when you are chasing your dreams and how to find the courage to try again

To start something new, do something scary or go for something you truly want, you need hope.

Hope is the fuel that drives you into action, that allows you to move forward even when it is uncomfortable or scary. Without hope we would give up in an instant, or not even try in the first place. Hope is a powerful thing, a positive force that helps us in the face of adversity.

But with hope also comes expectation. When you put yourself out there, you might feel the expectation that it will lead to the result you want. If things don′t work out as planned, you feel disappointment.

Disappointment is a natural part of life, and almost inevitable when you put yourself out there, but most of us haven′t learned how to deal with it.

When you finally find the courage to apply for that dream job or ask for a promotion and you get rejected, the disappointment can lead to you feeling discouraged. It can stop you from trying again and putting yourself out there again, to avoid feeling the pain. This means you will avoid disappointment, but you also lose the chance to do something truly meaningful.

When you are in the process of making your dreams come true, here is how you can find the courage to try again after being disappointed.

1. Acknowledge the disappointment and allow yourself to feel it

It might feel like allowing yourself time to feel disappointed might lead to not trying again. The opposite is true, though. Only when you let yourself grieve the outcome you didn′t get can you heal your disappointment and find the motivation to try again.

Acknowledging that you feel hurt and allowing yourself the time you need to process your feelings is the only way to move past it at some point. Disappointment often comes with anger, frustration and sadness. Your feelings are valid, and you are allowed to be hurt.

2. Recognize the courage it took to try

Trying something new or going for something you really want takes courage and vulnerability. Regardless of the outcome, can you give yourself credit for trying, for doing something that felt scary? You can′t always control the outcome of your actions, you can only do your part. When you can recognize that you took a courageous step, you might find that same courage to give it another go. Even if it didn′t work out this time, every step takes you closer to where you want to be.

3. Were your expectations realistic?

Once you have acknowledged the hurt, a good question to reflect on is whether you set realistic expectations for yourself. Disappointment is almost inevitable in life, but setting realistic expectations can make a significant difference in the intensity of it. When the initial pain is gone, can you see what you learned from this situation, and what could help you moving forward?

4. Get back to the desire

Why did you want to do the brave, scary thing in the first place? Why is it important to you, and what would it be like if you succeeded? Getting back in touch with the desire you feel is the fuel for taking action again. Allow yourself to dream again.

5. Take a baby step in the right direction

Putting yourself back out there, no matter how small the first step might be, is the only way to move towards what you desire. What is a tiny step in the right direction that you could take today? Remember that achieving big dreams is often the results of lots of baby steps.

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