How to deal with difficult people

Have you ever had a client or a tenant bail you up about something? Have you had to deal with a really difficult complaint? Do you ever have those days where you feel like a moving target for angry people to take a shot at?

Well I want to share a way that you can turn these negative situations in to great customer service experiences by learning how to handle difficult conversations.

Are you confident in handling difficult conversations?

We find the one of the biggest concerns that Property Managers around the country face is a lack of confidence around difficult conversations. This is a big Problem because in PM it is natural that from time to time you are going to come across people that have complaints, objections, concerns, hesitations or are just flat angry.

We are caught in the middle of a relationship were both parties often have conflicting needs. Challenging conversations are natural, should be expected and you need to be prepared to handle them.

In this article, I will share with you a 6 Step framework for handling those difficult conversations.

This framework works with objections, complaints, dealing with conflict and all other difficult communication problems.  But there are a couple of other things you need to be aware of when heading in to a conflict situation.

Why do these PM objections or conflicts occur?  

Well in Property Management there are many reasons, maybe you didn’t deliver on a promise or someone in the office made a mistake or handled a request poorly.

But somewhere along the line there has been a communication barrier or blockage, leading to a lack of knowledge, reducing awareness, which may lead to false understandings or points of view and ultimately turning into a customer service gap or an inability for someone to make a clear decision.

You may hear a CONFLICT INDICATOR like:

•  “I don’t want to pay for that maintenance”.
•  Tenant not happy about access for routines. “You can’t just come here whenever you want”
•  Rent increases. “No way, you can’t put the rent up, that’s not fair”

If you hear these CONFLICT INDICATORS, its likely something was missed in an earlier conversation and you need to back pedal to fill the gaps, but there is a certain way to do it. 

Introducing the 6-step framework

Step 1: The first thing you need to do is LISTEN

It sounds easier than it is, but you just need to listen and let the other person talk. Don’t interrupt them, if you find yourself interrupting to give a response, apologise and say ‘sorry, go on’ so that they feel comfortable enough to continue with what they are sharing. This is your opportunity to get clear on what the other person is saying, not your interpretation of it. 

Also, the other person has been waiting to let loose and this is the time to let them have their say. Don’t take anything personally.

Step 2: ACKNOWLEDGE what they have said. 

Empathise, repeat back what you understand they are trying say. Your aim is to articulate what you have heard and get on the same page.  You can use some of their words, just not too many because it will be easy to see you are parroting.

IMPORTANT NOTE - You’re looking for them to agree with what you are repeating back this is the first bridge. If they don’t agree, you need to ask them to clarify or correct you and if necessary, go through this until what you repeat gets their agreement.

Remember that acknowledging them is not about agreeing with their position it is just a shared understanding of their issue, these are separate.

Step 3: ISOLATE, this step may not be required in all situations.

If this difficult conversation is an objection or blockage to a service or product, now is the time to isolate it and make sure it is the only obstacle. The last thing you want to do is go all the way through this framework only to find that you may not have solved the real issue.

Firstly, say Thank you, this helps to further break down the barrier. You could also apologise that that has occurred and then ask, “Do you have any other concerns?” If so, you need to find out by going through Step 1 again, then Acknowledge it before isolating the two points.

Isolating the issues/s is important because the last thing you want to do is go all the way through this framework only to find that you may not have solved the real issue.

Step 4: EXPLORE - This is your chance to dig deeper

It’s time to uncover the underlying reasons for their position, which is now hopefully softening. Approach this step in a way that you are seeking to understand, not to be right. 

Ask open ended questions, not closed questions or tie downs. You mentioned… can you help me understand that a bit more? That’s interesting, why do you think….? Ok did you feel about what they offered you? Can you explain that further? What would be the ideal situation for you?

Step 5: RESPOND – Now is your time to solve the problem

Now is the perfect time to deliver your earth-shattering, well-practised, scripts and dialogues that you have been bursting from the seems to deliver since the other person started talking. However now you have an advantage because by this point, you've taken plenty of time to listen to the other person who would have told you everything you need to know about fixing their issue.

By this point, you would hopefully be having a fairly open conversation with the other person. It should feel like you're sitting on the same side of the table, problem solving together.

Step 6 - CONFIRM the next steps

If everything has gone to plan you will have come to an understanding, but you need to ensure they not only understand, they also accept and agree with the response you have given.

You can confirm with a simple question such as, “Is it ok if we do that?” or “Would that be ok?” or “Are you comfortable if we handle it that way?”.

So, in review

1. Listen,
2. Acknowledge,
3. Isolate – Especially objections,
4. Explore,
5. Respond &
6. Confirm

When you have this mindset of being helpful and your aim is to reach a good resolution, this framework feels very natural.  This will allow the other person to feel understood and be open to your recommendation. 

I hope this article gives you the tools you need to better deal with your difficult conversations.