How to deal with conflict in the workplace

Nobody really likes conflict, be it with your mates, your family or your co-workers, however it’s a fact of life, and something that we can all learn to deal with properly.

I am not addressing bullying or harassment here – different topics altogether. The types of conflict I address here are the more day-to-day stuff – clashes of personalities, ideas and actions.

Dealing with conflict in the workplace: strategies

1. Address the issue as soon as possible

Although it is uncomfortable, not dealing with growing resentment is only going to make things more awkward in the long run. That doesn’t mean that anytime you have a clash of ideas with someone you need to arrange a meeting, however you’ll know if you’re experiencing a recurring pattern of conflict with one particular co-worker.

• Meet in person:?in our flexi-working world, we’re all used to Teams meetings. But don’t slip into these habits for conflict resolution meetings. Arranging a face-to-face meeting (if not in the office then maybe a walk?) not only shows that you’re serious about building bridges, but also reduces the chance of body language in remote calls being misinterpreted.
• Find some privacy:?book a neutral meeting room (not your or their office), or find somewhere you know you won’t be interrupted. This is crucial, because it will allow both of you to speak openly about what’s going on.
• Listen:?this process will only work if both you and the other person feel they have the opportunity to voice your respective feelings. Give them a chance to talk, uninterrupted, before you have your say.
• Keep emotions out:?although difficult, try to not make this personal. Use facts as much as you can when it does come to your turn and make sure you’re talking from your head, not your heart. It is important to put your opinion across, however you need to do this in a measured and calm way. Whatever you do, don’t use your turn to simply rebut everything they’ve just said in their turn.
• Be solutions focused:?both of you having your say is important, but that’s not the end goal. Ultimately, you’re working towards building a better professional relationship, and finding ways around your disagreements. You don’t have to walk out of there as best friends, but you do both need to commit to trying different approaches.

Of course no one wants to be the person who’s known for ruffling feathers, but don’t shy away from conflict just because it makes you uncomfortable. By approaching it head on, in a calm manner, one of two positive things should happen:

1. You persuade the other person:?this isn’t about ‘winning’, however when you’re right, you’re right. If you can make the other person see that in this instance, their approach or reaction to a situation wasn’t great, they’ll hopefully have learnt a valuable lesson.
2. You learn:?it might be that, after talking to the other person, you actually find that they were seeing things you weren’t, or that your behaviour was the root cause of the issue. If this is the case, you’ll have grown as a person, as well as a professional by taking this on board.

2. Don’t talk to other colleagues about it

Gossiping or trying to get people ‘on your side’ is a really bad idea, it is unprofessional and can be seen as bullying. You must only talk directly to the person involved and try to resolve your differences between the two of you. No one else in the office needs to know.

3. When to take things further

If the conversation has not resolved the conflict and it turns from a personal and professional disagreement to bullying or harassment, then you need to speak to your manager.

4. Learn from it

Disagreements happen all the time, in all sorts of different circumstances. And, in fact, learning how to deal with conflict in the workplace is a crucial skill to learn.

So, once the immediate issue is resolved, take some time to reflect on what has happened, the steps you took, and the results that you saw. Did that relationship improve quickly, or would you do things differently next time? While conflict is never fun, at least next time it happens you’ll have some tools at your disposal to help navigate the situation. And you’ll be able to add it to your soft skills when you’re next in a job interview.