How To Deal With A Boss Who Is Too Demanding & Inconsistent

All workplaces are challenging at times, and it's always the boss's duty to get her workers to step up to the plate—but some bosses go too far by placing undue pressure on their employees.

“An excessively demanding supervisor may ask you to work outside your daily schedule even though the amount of work does not require it; he may insist on extra reporting that is never read; order numerous'special projects; or want to approve every decision you make,” says Rita Friedman, a career coach and resume writer in Philadelphia.

Ryan Kahn, a career coach, the creator of The Hired Group, and the star of MTV's Hired, as well as the author of Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad, agrees. He defines an excessively demanding supervisor as someone who sets unreasonable or unsustainable standards and requirements for job deliverables or objectives. “You may have an excessively demanding supervisor if your project list keeps growing and changing, and your output goals keep rising.”

According to Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and author of Tame The Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, an excessively demanding boss doesn't empathise or appreciate what it takes for you to achieve results, and he will keep pressing you before you take action.

"Demanding managers send you unrealistic deadlines, are unconcerned about the hours it takes to achieve targets, won't take the time to figure out what's fair in advance, can show little interest in your well-being, struggle to prioritise, and give you little praise when you accomplish Herculean tasks," she says. “They will not check to see if you have the equipment or knowledge you need to complete your tasks, and they may become unapproachable, leaving you with no choice but to do it.”

Why would a manager behave in this manner? A desire to be in control of everything; a fear of losing his or her job; a desire for perfection; or a sense of entitlement, according to Taylor. “Whatever the reason, these bosses are frequently like misbehaving children who behave as if the world revolves around them. These managers don't always think to ask politely, so it's up to you to break your silence and be the voice of reason.”

An overbearing manager can be difficult to work with, and his actions can lead to a rise in stress levels, as well as a drop in morale and productivity.

“While a little pressure can motivate employees to rise to the occasion, people who work for excessively demanding employers are often disappointed that their efforts go unnoticed, and as a result, they are unlikely to continue to produce high-quality work,” Friedman says. “A bad manager can pit coworkers against one another in an attempt to impress management, and there's a huge difference between healthy rivalry and workplace infighting.”

This sort of demanding boss is likely to be a micromanager who is overbearing. “Not only can this have a negative impact on employee morale and the overall workplace climate, but it can also have the opposite effect: When employees are continually forced to perform at unrealistic levels or are expected to run every move through a higher-up, productivity suffers. Overly demanding employers are often known to have high-turnover workplaces, and when team members leave or are forced out, the remaining workforce is put under even more strain, leading to even more employee burnout.”

“Overly demanding managers seem to treat their workers as dispensable resources, rather than assets,” says Suzana Simic, manager of career services at Computer Systems Institute. With that said, it can be incredibly difficult to assist in the resolution of a crisis or the prevention of one when an individual is overburdened by their overbearing boss.” According to her, employees who work for an overly demanding supervisor can feel as if nothing they do is ever enough. “When an overbearing supervisor enters the office, the employees' posture shifts from one of stress and apprehension to one of stress and apprehension. Employees become burdened with the burden of ‘pleasing' an overbearing supervisor, and they can make mistakes in the process of trying to be perfect.”

Another possibility is that you'll be more angry with yourself than with your boss because you're torn between the need to succeed and stop being incompetent – and the risk of offending your boss by speaking up, according to Taylor. “It bugs you because you don't believe you can ask for fair demands without igniting a battle. You can be afraid of retribution, passive-aggressive backlash, loss of work status or exciting projects, or even termination, which is a conundrum, before you can summon the courage to confront the issue head-on.”

The internal dispute you have with an overbearing supervisor will eventually overtake you, preventing you from doing your best work. “You end up with a double whammy of a heavy workload and a behavioural conflict, which saps your productivity. Overbearing, disrespectful managers work against the very target they're aiming for: more performance from you.”

Working for an extremely demanding supervisor is not necessarily a bad thing, according to Kahn, since they may be impatient, overly blunt, and even intimidating; they are unlikely to tolerate reasons for missed deadlines or goals; and they can have a high turnover rate through their workers as they look for individuals that can fulfil their high standards. “These are frequently high-performing individuals that are rapidly ascending the corporate ladder. They have high standards for their team and they have high standards for themselves. Working for an overbearing boss can be difficult, but it also has the potential to be a fantastic learning experience. Learning how to deal with this personality type is the secret to success.”

According to Taylor, if you don't learn how to deal with a demanding manager, you'll suffer the repercussions of never feeling satisfied with your job. “The consistency and quantity of your deliverables will suffer, and your self-esteem will suffer,” she predicts. “You must learn to convey the particulars of your tasks to your supervisor in a courageous and concise manner. You can't say that your supervisor is aware of the hours that tasks require. These bosses must be educated on the importance of setting goals and understanding your human limitations. Above all, you must take the lead in establishing mutually acceptable expectations.”