When Bad News Strikes...It's Not The End Of The World

When Bad News Strikes..Strike Back!

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mind-over-matter/201108/when-bad-news-strikesits-not-the-end-the-world

"Your 401K just lost $50,000."

"You have cancer."

"I don't love you anymore."

Those words can cause your adrenaline to start pumping and your mind to start racing to worst case scenarios in a matter of seconds. That fight or flight response can kick in pretty quickly. Maybe you've never heard these particular words said to you, but no one is immune to receiving a piece of bad news at some point in their life.

So how do we process whatever it is we need to, and then move on to deal with the issue at hand? How can we make sure not to let the pieces of bad news we receive define our life, who we are, or what we are afraid we will become?

First and foremost, it's important to stay present in the moment. Breathe.  Easier said than done, but it is essential to try to quiet the mind and body. When our bodies are understress, the adrenal gland secretes the hormone cortisol. High levels of cortisol can put someone at greater risk for heart disease. The limbic area part of the brain, which includes the hippocampus and amygdala, hold different forms of memory - the facts and emotions that are part of our history. Earlier traumas can be revived on a physical and emotional level.

Try to calm yourself, as hard as it might be. Sometimes closing your eyes for a few minutes, focusing on your breath, conjuring up a pleasant, non-emotionally charged image, even just repeating the word calm over and over can be helpful. Research datingback to the 1960's from Herbert Benson, MD, and his book The Relaxation Response,along with present day studies, laude the benefits of meditation and exercise as stress reducers which can lower blood pressure, relax your muscles and slow your heart beat.

Staying in the present, but becoming more conscious and mindful about how the past may be impacting present reactions is a good first step. Reminding yourself about previous successful coping strategies and difficult situations that you have resolved is next. How did you get back on track after suffering some major setback? Was it talking to others who may have experienced a similar difficulty? Was it gathering more information about the particular problem? Remember we've all been successful at something in our lives, even though recalling it might escape us at the moment. Big or little - it doesn't matter; just recalling it can temper the immediate panic or despair and provide some relief. The trick is to allow yourself to see it and not belittle it when you do.

Learning not to globalize situations is also extremely important in processing bad news. Don't future trip. While it is important to acknowledge the potential negative ways this "news" may impact you, and plan accordingly, don't create scenarios that may never happen. Conversely, sticking your head in the sand, and denying the realities the bad news may present can make a bad situation even worse. Being able to have a balanced perspective, accepting all the feelings, both good and bad that the news elicits is what will help you get through it.

Wondering what could be "good" about "bad" news? It may present the opportunity to reevaluate priorities, what and who is important to you, encourage more self-reflection and introduce you to people and situations you might have never known.

Take away:

Breathe, calm yourself.

Stay in the present, but reevaluate the past.

Remember and utilize past successful strategies.

Don't globalize.

Don't be Mr. or Ms. Negativity or Pollyanna.

Identify and appreciate new opportunities.

4 Steps to Cope With Bad News at Work

Source: https://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2015/01/15/4-steps-to-cope-with-bad-news-at-work

How to gracefully handle criticisms, talk of layoffs and more.

If you're upset about something at work, take time to step back from the situation and reflect on it.

Many things can set you off at work, from a boss's poor feedback on an assignment to a bad performance review. Perhaps you’ve received information that the company is not doing well and to expect a bad turn or even a layoff. It’s important to handle this kind of news with style and professionalism. At the same time, there is a time and place to react and take action.

You may not realize it, but your composure at work can have a lasting impact. Do you want to be remembered and referred for other jobs as a put-together, calm employee who handles bad news well? Or do you want to be known as someone who cannot control her temper? It’s not easy to deal with bad news at work, but here’s how to face it and proactively respond to it:

1. Take time. Just as when you receive unfortunate personal news, it’s natural and important to take time to work out your feelings. Whether you are angry or sad, allow those feelings to come out in the way you best deal with a bad situation. Talk it over with loved ones, exercise, take a personal day – do whatever you need to do to give yourself time to process the news. This will give you a clearer idea of the big picture, and it will allow you to put things in perspective and consider alternatives.

2. Reflect. Taking time off work and talking to friends or family will give you the chance to reflect on what happened. If your annual review didn’t go well, or you were criticized for your work on a project, think about what you could have done differently. Maybe you can learn from what you heard and approach things in a new way next time to improve your performance.

Ultimately, the choice is yours: Do you want to make the best out of your current situation, stay frustrated or consider other opportunities?

3. Consider. If you want to improve your current situation, take stock of your relationships. Which relationship would you like to improve? What past issues or conflicts can you clear up so you can both move forward? How can you take responsibility for past issues?

It’s a difficult conversation to have, so take steps to make the other person as comfortable as possible when you’re ready to discuss your relationship, what it means to you and how you’d like to work better together.

If you are still having trouble coming to terms with the news after reflecting on it, perhaps it is time to consider other opportunities. Do you enjoy what you do? Are you using your talents, skills and interests at work? If not, maybe you’re frustrated and should talk to your boss about better using your capabilities (if your boss is reasonable and that’s an option). If not, it may be time to search for jobs that will allow you to maximize your skills and interests.

4. Act. Even if you decide that this particular situation can be solved in the short term by a frank and specific discussion with your boss, it is probably a good idea to begin reaching out. It’s always a good idea to network while you are working (even when things are going well, because things could change rapidly).

Arrange brief meetings or coffee breaks with others in your company whose opinion you respect or who you know to be highly successful in their jobs. When networking internally, remember to be discreet about whether you are looking for other opportunities, so nothing gets back to your boss.

You can also conduct informational interviews externally by using LinkedIn as a starting point. Figure out who you want to talk to and send a three- to four-line message to introduce yourself and why you’d like to connect with them.

At this time, you should also consider updating your résumé, writing a solid cover letter and developing your LinkedIn profile. This will all come in handy if someone asks for you to forward your résumé for a potential opportunity.

The takeaway: While no one likes to get bad news at work, think of it as an opportunity to re-evaluate your job situation. Give yourself time to process the information and decide whether and/or how to react. If you choose to take action, do it in a positive way that will make a difference for your career. Have an honest, thoughtful discussion with your boss to ask how you can improve your performance or how your skills can be better applied within the company.

If that route is not an option – or even if it is – take this opportunity to jump-start your networking efforts. Maybe you'll come across something you enjoy more that will maximize your abilities.