How to De-Escalate Meltdowns in 5 Seconds without Saying Anything

I recently met Kim Pomares, CEO at Mendability. They developed a program of brain stimulation through sensory enrichment to help special ed students.?

Kim recently put together a simple, practical guide I think you'll find incredibly valuable: “How to De-Escalate Meltdowns in 5 Seconds without Saying Anything.”

I know how stressful meltdowns can be, and this guide offers a gentle, yet powerful science-backed way to help your child regain calm quickly. They use the sense of smell to interrupt and soothe the brain during a meltdown.

If you would like to download the article, go to: https://www.mendability.com/bethany-bilodeau

Enjoy the article below!

Welcome to a new approach, that requires no power struggle, to talking them down, no psychology degree, no management…

Meltdowns can be one of the most challenging moments for both the parents and the person experiencing this total loss of control, when all H... breaks loose in their mind and in their heart.

They?re intense, emotional, and sometimes seem impossible to stop. But what if you could help your child regain control in just 5 seconds—without saying a word?

This guide will walk you through a powerful, science-backed technique designed to interrupt, soothe and help them regain control of their emotions.

Step 1: Understand

What is a Meltdown?

A meltdown is dierent than a learned behavior—it?s a moment when your child?s brain is overwhelmed by a flood of emotions, leaving them unable to process or control what they?re feeling. It?s as if their brain has hit a breaking point, caught in a loop of stress and panic. In these moments, your child is trapped in a cycle that they can?t escape without help, making it nearly impossible for them to calm down on their own.

A true meltdown will persist, whether you?re watching or not—it?s an intense, uncontrollable reaction. In contrast, learned behaviors oen stop when the audience disappears. Use this method when your child is truly overwhelmed, and it can help soothe them and regain control.

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How can 5 seconds can make all the difference?

The brain is incredibly fast—faster than we oen realize. It only takes 15 milliseconds for the brain to process a new sensory input, which is why a quick, powerful interruption can have such a profound eect.

In contrast, when a meltdown begins, it?s as if the brain gets stuck in a loop, overwhelmed by stress and unable to break free. The brain?s typical lightning-fast processing becomes bogged down by a flood of emotions and a chemical imbalance.

But here?s the key: despite this overwhelming cycle, the brain still retains its incredible speed. By introducing a new, powerful sensory input—like a new pleasant scent or a sudden burst of cold—you can reset the brain, giving it a chance to break the meltdown cycle and regain control.

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Step 2: Smell

Harness smell to stop and soothe

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No matter how intense the meltdown, a pleasant, unexpected smell—like strawberry or vanilla—can instantly catch the brain?s attention, and stop it in its tracks for a split second.

Unlike other senses, smell bypasses several processing centers and goes straight to the limbic system—the brain?s emotional hub.Once the scent is processed, the limbic system releases dopamine (up to 100% more!) and serotonin—chemicals that promote calm and well-being.

This combination of interruption and soothing helps your child begin calming down within seconds.

Simply bring the scent close to them; their brain will do the rest. We prefer strawberry for its quick and intense processing, but any pleasant scent should work.

Step 3: Cold

When ice is needed

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While scent is oen enough to stop and soothe a meltdown, there are times when a stronger intervention is needed. This is where the power of cold comes in.

Cold is a potent signal that the brain cannot ignore. It has been used in various contexts to interrupt intense neurological activity. For example, ice has been used to stop seizures in dogs and can also help decrease seizure intensity, duration, recovery time, and even frequency in humans.

You don't need to touch them with the ice. You can simply ask them to hold an ice pack or a bag of frozen vegetables for you.

However, more oen than not, smell alone is suicient to achieve this eect. Ice is simply an additional tool that can be used when needed, providing that extra push to help your child calm down.

Tips

Using the 5-second method anywhere

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At home, keep a bottle of scent nearby and an ice pack in the freezer. At the restaurant or park, a discreet scent-infused wristband can be a life-saver.

Even if your child is too upset to notice or respond, simply having the scent nearby can make a dierence. With the ice, you can place it on their lap or hand it to them as if asking for help.

Be prepared to act swily and gently at the first signs of anxiety build-up.

You can also use this technique to help prevent meltdowns and help children who have a tough time with anxiety and stress. Consider giving them a boost of pleasure and calm every few hours. Instead of ice, pair the scent with a gentle touch, like a back tickle or a so hand massage, for a dose of serotonin—the serenity hormone.

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Contact us at:

https://schedule.mendability.com/#/3871193000009855532