How to Date Your Clients

Over the last decade, I’ve been on a lot of sales training. I’ve completed courses and attended lectures; memorised models and lists of killer questions. I’ve been subjected to best practice, monthly conference calls and top tip PowerPoints. Despite all the variations and layers of complexity, it usually breaks down to the following:

1. Intro/Build Rapport
2. Question
3. Sell
4. Close

That’s as basic as it gets. But here’s the issue – ‘build rapport’ is thrown in there like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Sometimes it’s not even mentioned, and just assumed your clients will warm to you as soon as you declare your name and company. From experience, the opposite is more likely. If it were that easy, we’d all be best friends with our clients, and have instant, delightfully profitable business relationships.

Steps 2, 3 and 4 are given masses of attention, hours of focus and course content dedicated to “question funnels” and “needs based selling” and an arsenal of certified closes. However, if you don’t make it past the intro - if your client doesn’t like you enough to hear what’s coming next - it’s game over. Client X has disengaged and you’re onto the next name on your hit list.

Very few of us in sales have the luxury of selling a product or service that is unique. We’re rarely in a position to sit back, and watch our clients form an orderly queue to sign contracts. We must compete - for attention, opportunity and ultimately, business. Our livelihoods depend on it.

In a university lecture years ago I was told,

“The essence of sales is buying something for a fair price, from someone you like.”

We’re not pricing analysts but the “someone you like” part is where we can all influence our own success. If you can master that part of the sales process, it’s a game changer. If your clients like you first, they will listen to what you say next, and ultimately, you’ll create endless opportunities to sell.

Clients don’t buy from salespeople they don’t like. No one is desperate enough to use you when there are hundreds of other suppliers they’d rather deal with over you.

So, it got me thinking - where can us salespeople find the resources we badly need to get our clients to like us? What field of thought may have the valuable insights to enhance our sales game and give our likeability prowess the education it needs? And then it hit me.

The world of dating.

As someone who has done a fair bit of (field based) research in this arena, I can confirm that sales and dating go hand in hand. Both involve people at opposite sides of the equation, both have the sole aim of getting someone to like you, and both have great pay offs if you’re able to nail your prospects.

So I actually did something a bit crazy and wrote a book on How to Date Your Clients. It’s full of the very best sales techniques I’ve ever used, watched other people use, or had used on me.

It covers topics such as being a sales sleaze, chat up lines, DMCs, ghosting, and swearing at your clients. Basically, it aims to get away from old school, outdated sales practices, and approach clients in an entirely new way - as if you were trying to date them.

If you’ve ever worked with me (or dated me) there’s a good chance your techniques are featured...

You can grab a copy on Amazon here or through the Apple iBooks app. Technically you could haggle an hour off BD to read this and class it as 'training'.

Let me know your thoughts! Would love to hear the best sales techniques you've come across. And if you do happen to read the book - add your favourite quote or discussion point to the comments below.