How to create writing that’s ‘you’

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. (Not even tea is everyone’s cup of tea. I mean, why drink tea in a world where there’s coffee?) Some people find me very opinionated. Others think my style is a bit much. I was also once accused of using a “hectoring” tone. That bastard.

In my writing, too, there are those who ‘get’ me and those who don’t; those who enjoy my phrasing, rhythm and unapologetic messaging — and those who object to the odd “bullshit” or “bollocks”. But, at 43 years old, I no longer need to be liked by everyone.

In fact, “everyone” is not my target market (it shouldn’t be?anyone’s?target market, but that’s a different article). My sweet spot — professionally, personally, and in my writing and training — is the narrow niche of folk who find value in my content, my approach, and my voice.

The others are simply not my people.

Granted, I’ve been a writer/trainer/speaker-for-hire for 19 years and it took me most of my 30s to get to this point. But it’s nice here. So I have some tips on how you might start to write as ‘you’, even if this makes others edgy.

Writing in your own voice

Yes, yes… “Voice” is a weird way to refer to something, writing, that has no sound.

(Unless you count typing. I have a friend and colleague, Terri, who types like she’s trying to give her keyboard a gang tattoo using a ballpoint pen. Jab, jab, jab!)

But using your writer’s voice is one of the most important ways you can stand out.

Start here:

• Identify it: is it gentle, frank, powerful, nurturing, relentless, ironic?
• Commit to it, so you can be sure you’ve given it a good, solid go before moving on to a different one.
• Decide when you’re writing as yourself and when you’re writing on behalf of a brand, because you’ll need to make allowances for the latter.
• Strengthen it, via hours and hours of practice actually using it.
• Continue to hone it — maybe even allowing it to evolve as you grow.

Take a position

To be a stronger writer, you need to get comfortable taking a stand. Holding a viewpoint. Even having an argument. I don’t mean an argument as in a disagreement or a quarrel; I mean a point of conviction.

Each piece of writing must clearly show:?This?is what I believe.?This?is how I convey that belief.?This?is why you should take me seriously when I unpack these things.

Imagine and speak

Twenty thousand years ago when I was in high school, we were told, “Good writing requires that you put yourself in the readers’ shoes.” Sadly, high school writing advice hasn’t changed much since then. But?people?have. Readers are different now.

So don’t bother with the crowded room, with the nameless, faceless presence of your target audience. You’ll get lost in there.

Just pick one. One individual who represents the interests and intent of the others. And write to them as if they’re sitting in front of you. One on one. As if you’re speaking with (not?to) them. Ask yourself, “How do I make this person care?”

Resist temptation

Sometimes when I write I find myself searching for perfectly worded phrases, powerful descriptors, neatly packaged messages. But, when I do this, I tend to drift towards the boring middle, away from what’s authentic, towards a sterile default.

This is the hardest part of writing real:

It requires that we relinquish a bit of control, that we drop the shiny exoskeleton between ourselves and the reader’s judgement. What if we’re genuine, and it’s shit? What if we’re vulnerable, and people hate it? That’s the risk. That’s what makes truly good writing both hard and sublime.

And you can fix it later. Authentic writing tends not to emerge perfectly clean and finely wrought. There’s not a lot of polish there. But that’s what editing is for. You can fix it in ‘post’.

The way children live

Canadian author, Aria J Wolfe,?wrote in 2019, “I believe we would write more freely if we wrote the way children live.”

My child is 13 years old. She lives honestly. She says what she thinks. She likes what she likes (biltong, cats and Terry Pratchett). She’s un-wowed by contrivance, aesthetics or the norm. She almost always has a grubby face and bare feet.

Like her father, she has minimal interest in small talk. Like me, she’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

Her life is not always logical — to those observing — but it sure is sublime and beautiful to watch. Much like good writing.