How to create team transparency even if the culture is not open

When I was eight years old, I was quite the consummate liar. It was a phase I went through (thankfully), but nevertheless, I got the big fat lesson one morning when my mother wouldn’t let me and my four brothers leave the kitchen table for school until the truth came out. You didn’t miss school in our family unless you were on your deathbed, so the pressure was on.

 Let me give you the backstory. My mother had a sweet tooth, but my parents didn’t want us kids to have a lot of sugar, so she would hide her sweets in the deep corners of the kitchen cupboards. Of course we knew exactly where they were, but we made sure that if we took something, it wasn’t the last one in the package or bag so as not to be noticed. My low blood sugar got the best of me, and I took the last Twix bar one afternoon. God that tasted so good!

I didn’t want to be left with the evidence, so I put the candy wrapper in a garbage can in my brother’s bedroom. As soon as she noticed the last candy bar gone, she went on a rampage. She looked in each of our rooms and finally found the wrapper. She quickly lit into my brother, but he swore he did not do it. That’s what brought us all to the kitchen table, where we remained glued until the truth came out.

I can remember that morning vividly. I was sweating inside. It was one thing to hide the evidence and not tell the truth after my brother swore he didn’t do it. But to have the added pressure of being responsible for my brothers missing school was too unbearable to take. The pressure got to me and I finally broke down and started crying. Through the tears, I told her I had done it. She quickly let my brothers go, sat me on our stairwell and in a calm and firm voice told me the story of the boy who cried wolf. That story, along with my father’s Sicilian demeanor ensuring I wouldn’t lie again, made such a strong impression that I am one of the worst liars to this day. (I still remember that story every time I see a Twix bar.)

Honesty is one of the top values I was raised with, so much so that I can smell inauthenticity a mile away. It’s such a strong value of mine that I can’t go too long without speaking my truth; otherwise it will show up in my body as headaches and upset. 

Being authentic is not just about being honest. It’s about speaking your truth when something does not align with you. It’s also about challenging other people’s views no matter how different they may be. Unfortunately, speaking up and sharing our views and beliefs is not a skill we are born with.

 Speaking up can put us in a vulnerable and very uncomfortable position, especially when we are unsure our voice will be truly heard. We don’t speak up because we are afraid of getting judged. We don’t want to look stupid or lose face in front of our peers. We are afraid of being rejected, not being accepted, not fitting in, or not belonging. Fear is the biggest barrier that stops us in our tracks.

 The other barrier that stops us is working in a culture that does not welcome different viewpoints. Fostering a culture of authenticity is about creating a safe space for people to speak their minds without being judged. 

The most powerful tool we have in the workplace is our voice.

A culture that does not allow for employees to freely share their views and challenge other people’s views is stifling. It leads to mistrust, lack of connection, and low productivity.

Over time, unspoken words and unexpressed feelings can drain our energy, causing a decrease in engagement. By the end of the day, we wonder why we are wiped out, with nothing left for our personal relationships. 

How can we foster a culture that welcomes different views and creates psychological safety for employees to speak up without getting shut down?

Even if you work within a much larger culture that may not foster a judgment-free environment, you can create a microcosm of that judgment-free culture within your own department or team. Hold closed-door forums where people can share openly about how they are feeling and what they are struggling with, and let them know in advance that what they share is held in confidence. Set the sole purpose of the session to acknowledge what is there and to name it. Keep in mind that the first session may open the dialogue to uncover key issues, but the real issues are often not the first issues presented, so refrain from jumping to solutions. Hold follow-up sessions to continue to allow for the dialogue to go deeper. Solutions can happen later.

 By holding these open forums, you not only build greater trust among your team members, but you also give them an outlet to get things off their chest so they can get back to doing their best work. It’s the first step in shifting fear into transformation.

 One of the deepest needs we have as human beings is be heard and understood.

Be the leader who ensures everyone’s voice counts.

About the Author

Jean Marie DiGiovanna, CPCC is an international keynote speaker, corporate educator and certified executive coach who has been helping leaders and their teams think and lead differently for over 25 years. She is a master of experiential learning and speaks on leadership, employee engagement and innovation.

Her programs combine the tool of powerful questions with proven leadership strategies and techniques to create cultural transformation with her clients, who range from Fortune 500 companies to small businesses. Jean Marie's programs are highly engaging and content-rich, with tools leaders and their teams can apply immediately to succeed.

To learn more about Jean Marie's keynotes & Leadership programs, visit www.jeanmariespeaks.com

To get more questions and tools to foster a culture of authenticity, check out Chapter 3 in Stop Talking Start Asking: 27 Questions to Shift the Culture of Your Organization - www.stoptalkingstartasking.com