How To Create A Synergic Relationship Between Your Conscious and Subconscious Mind

One of the most fascinating things about us as a species is that we still haven’t truly understood how the brain works and all the complexity that is behind the brain’s functioning.

Any neuroscientist can tell you that, even the little that we know, can be incredibly complex!

That’s exactly why I do my best to keep it all as simple as possible when trying to explain something about how our minds work.

In this article that is precisely what I will be doing — keeping it simple.

If you've read my past articles, by now you should be well aware that you have AT LEAST 2 different sides to you and your mind. One is the conscious side and the other is the subconscious side.

I like to say that the subconscious side is the more primal and more emotional side of yourself. It is basically the little kid you have living deep inside your mind.

This little kid is only concerned with the short term. This is why your subconscious only focuses on short-term pleasures like eating candy or fast food instead of healthier alternatives. The subconscious is also mostly emotional. Reasoning isn’t really its thing. In other words, it acts exactly like a child, just seeking the thrill and the pleasure of the moment with no regard for the long-term future.

Then, with the conscious side, well, that works more like a parent. It is the logical side. The analytical version of you. There aren’t many emotions over on this side. It’s the side that looks at the facts and focuses on the long-term concerns. It’s the side that acts responsibly, the side that behaves “properly” and the side that makes wiser decisions.

I find it quite amazing that we have these two incredibly different sides TOGETHER in one person. And as that person, it is up to YOU to balance out these two sides as much as possible.

If you don’t, you’ll grow frustrated with life, you’ll dislike yourself and you probably won’t be able to find happiness or peace of mind. You’ll always feel like you’re in conflict with yourself.

So, HOW do we create a synergetic relationship between our conscious and our subconscious?

It’s all about the habits you have daily.

It’s all about how you operate your life.

It’s all about how much time you dedicate to what.

Here are some concrete action steps you can take:

- Always journal/meditate/reflect on how you’ve been feeling lately. Never ignore your feelings, it’s literally how your subconscious communicates with you. By taking the time to closely listen to yourself and your feelings, you’re making your conscious side stop for a moment to pay attention to what the subconscious wants or needs.

- Stop being the person who says “I want to do this” but then doesn’t do it. From this moment onward, literally make it a rule for yourself. If you want to do something, you define when that thing will get done straight away. And then you just make sure to do it. No matter what. If you want to do something, that is your subconscious desire. And it’s up to you to ensure that desire is fulfilled. After all, you ABSOLUTELY want to make sure your subconscious feels happy! (but obviously if what you want harms someone else, you shouldn’t ever do it)

- Anytime you don’t feel like doing something, sit down and write down why you have to do it. What long-term benefit will it bring you? It’s important to make this clear. Because your resistance to doing it is coming from your subconscious mind. So, instead of just forcing yourself through the activity, take a moment to have a meeting with yourself where you clarify to your subconscious exactly WHY it’s so important to do this thing you have no desire of doing. Then, once that’s clear, you just get it done. Otherwise, it will be like forcing a kid to do what the kid doesn’t want to do. Everybody knows how that usually goes…

- Constantly talk with yourself. Constantly live life as if you’re hanging out with yourself. Because you are. The only person who will FOR SURE always be with you is yourself. So why wouldn’t you learn to enjoy having dialogues with yourself? It’s also a great exercise to practice thinking. You can easily do this in the shower, while washing dishes, etc.

- Understand you have little control over how your subconscious feels. Whatever your emotions may be, even if they are undesired, DO NOT RESIST OR JUDGE THEM. This is SO important. I cannot emphasize enough just how important this is. This is the mistake most people make. They want to CONTROL their emotions and then get upset when they are unable to. Trying to control your emotions is basically you trying to control the little kid in you that is crying and then screaming at the kid to shut the hell up. Obviously, this will not lead you to a synergetic relationship between these two sides of your mind.

- Understand life is a shared experience between both parties, so both parties need their own dedicated time, or tantrums/burnouts will happen. The truth is, burnouts are just major tantrums thrown by your subconscious saying “I’ve had enough of doing the logical thing. I’ve had 0 fun lately so now I’M taking over and we are doing NOTHING productive for the long term. Just laziness and instant gratification from now on.” The way to avoid this is to ensure that every single week you have time allotted for whatever it is that feels great to do. Whatever you enjoy doing, MAKE SURE to block time for it at least once a week. Otherwise, you’re just trying to live life like a robot. Obviously, this will trigger the subconscious to act out.

- Improve your relationship with yourself . Learn to love yourself. Check out all the info in the linked article. The way to improve your relationship with yourself is through a lifestyle change. It may take a few months, but it’s the most rewarding change you can ever make in your life. An unorthodox option could be psychedelics like psilocybin. Although it could be a good thing for this, please don’t take this as a direct suggestion. Not everybody should try them. Please try to contact a health professional who specializes in psychedelic therapy before you ever consider trying anything such as that.

- Create a routine/dynamic where it’s clear who gets what time. An example of this would be to define rules like: Long-term goals related work is until 6 PM and fun time is after 6 PM, for example. Just a little something so that BOTH sides know they have their own allotted time. If you’re looking for balance, you obviously have to be able to mind the wants and needs of both sides. Disregarding any of the sides could lead to depression or just loss of motivation to achieve your goals.

To keep it simple (for the tl;dr people out there): JUST MAKE SURE EVERYBODY GETS THEIR TIME. Both sides need to have time dedicated to their needs and wants. That’s all. Give both sides importance and attention and you’ll be fine.

I know it doesn’t sound easy, but we’re literally talking about something that could be the most rewarding thing you do in your entire life.

This IS worth the time and effort you need to put in.

You owe it to yourself!

If you have any questions, just drop them in the comment section.

Other than that, just EXECUTE. Don’t just read this and move on with your life. You can dramatically change it for the better if you just start EXECUTING ASAP.

Go for it!

Never stop hustling & never stop dreaming,

- Dez

P.S. I’m a Mindset Mentor and I’d be happy to help you improve the balance in your mind if you think you could use some help! You can check out my official website https://kaidezen.com/ for more information