How to create a sense of belonging at work

"I long, as does every human being to be at home wherever I find myself."

- Maya Angelou

I had such a wonderful day with Virgin Media having a tour around their new headquarters and meeting the teams in Reading, recently. I'm passionate about our people and determined that everyone feels they are valued and can be 100 per cent themselves at work, so it was wonderful to get the chance to join a fascinating (and brave!) panel on what it means to truly belong in the place where you work.

Belonging is so critical to our sense of self-worth and purpose. As work forms such a large part of our lives and our purpose, it’s important for workplaces to break down barriers that might stop people bringing their true selves to work. You gain a sense of the community-minded culture at Virgin Media the moment you step inside their office.

The company is taking great strides to create an inclusive workplace that nurtures the social and emotional needs of their people, which is something I’m incredibly passionate about. As part of their journey to become 100 per cent inclusive, 100 per cent of the time, Virgin Media are giving their people a platform to share their lived experiences through this series of Belonging panels. By sharing stories in a safe space, Virign Media hopes to provide a safe space for other people who may be going through similar issues as the panellists to feel comfortable opening up and asking for support. 

Truly, I've never witnessed anything quite like it - colleagues opening up about their greatest vulnerabilities in front of 150 people who gave no judgement, only acceptance.

The panel was made up of an incredible group of people from within the Virgin family who each had a fascinating story to tell. Ruth, from the People Team at Virgin Media, has a nine-year-old child with autism and is campaigning to break down barriers around neurodiversity. She spoke keenly about the importance of community and sharing our personal stories after she met two other mums with autistic children at a Virgin Media inclusion event in 2019.

Lucy Tardrew, a Virgin Atlantic Captain, spoke about her experience in becoming the one of the airline’s first female pilots 25 years ago. Lucy worked hard to find a sense of belonging in an industry dominated by men and spoke about how we can break down barriers to encourage more girls to pursue careers in aviation and STEM. Lucy’s passion for aviation and her drive to educate girls on what an incredible career becoming a pilot is - a career that doesn’t prevent you having a family life - shines through everything she said. She is truly inspirational.

Another member of the panel, Matt, spoke honestly about his past experience with alcoholism and why it’s important to build morale in your team, embrace different types of thinking, have fun at work, and really listen when you ask people how they’re feeling. His story inspired a young woman in the audience to stand up and share her experience of growing up with an alcoholic father. It was so moving to see these barriers being broke down right before our eyes. 

Jennifer, who also works at Virgin Media, opened up about the biggest challenge in her life – when her husband and father of her children came out as gay. The experience taught Jen the importance of being vulnerable and being able to lean on people at work. As Jen put it, a problem shared is a problem halved and things are often not as bad as they seem in your head. Jen explained how she was worried that her children would be negatively affected by the shock of what they were going through – I got goosebumps when another colleague stood up and told us how her father coming out did not have a negative impact on her and her brother in the long term – in fact it made them stronger.

Toward the end of the panel, someone in the audience asked me about any challenges that I had faced in my life. I opened up about the period when when Freddie (my husband) and I started trying for a family and I started to struggle personally at work. I was really struggling to become pregnant and after suffering a couple of miscarriages and going through a few rounds of IVF – I felt my life was completely out of my control. Nine years ago, fertility struggles were not really talked about at work, so I would plaster a smile on my face each morning and try my best to get through the day. The office became such a lonely place to be. It would be years before I confessed to my work mates how I had been feeling and how isolated I felt.

I then touched on the acute anxiety I felt when returning to work after my first maternity leave. Again, I hadn’t shared how I was feeling at the time and, as many of you know, going through anxiety on your own is incredible hard. But once I opened up about my struggles to colleagues, so many people came up and talked to me about the fertility and anxiety challenges they were facing. I was amazed how many others were going (or had gone) through the same thing. It was then I realised that the only way to break down barriers is to talk openly about them.

The panel was the perfect reminder that we each have a story to tell, and when we open up about our challenges we enable others to do the same. Support is also never far away.

It was such a moving morning – one that I’ll remember for a long time and one I’m keen to replicate throughout the Virgin Family. 

How can you create a greater sense of belonging in your workplace?