How to Create a Life You Love

Have you ever noticed that you can choose something, and choose it all the way... and then a few hours or days later you notice the choice seems to have disappeared into the ethers? Where did it go? And why didn't the choice you made stick?

Have you ever decided to create a new version of yourself? Maybe you're choosing to be more present? Maybe you're choosing to see yourself as lovable? Maybe it's focus or decisiveness you're creating?

You can keep telling yourself you are these things until you're blue in the face. But the words you tell yourself only get you so far. And you still wind up efforting... or, worse, giving up on what you desired to become.

Choice is a powerful tool for change. However, choice alone won't take you all the way there.

Let's look at affirmations. They're one of the most common tools you can use to choose a change for yourself. And they're great... if used appropriately.

Here's what I do and don't recommend:

If you use affirmations alone, they won’t work.

If you use them as a tool for alchemy, they will.

Ignoring the shadows that affirmations bring up has them acting as a band-aid. Honoring them, will bring you to the you who exists beyond the shadows.

Here’s how to use them in a way that will work for you:

1. Phrase them in a way that is supportive. Notice in your phrasing where you are still creating scarcity or not-enoughness in your wording. Shift the words to wholeness.

2. As you repeat them to yourself, become aware of your body. Notice where you don’t feel them. Are you numb? Is your mind not believing the words? Are the words falling flat and sliding off of you like water on oil? The more aware you are of where you are feeling, thinking, and experiencing that which you do not desire, the more you’ll be able to consciously create that which you do desire.

2B. This step is for you if you’re not yet used to sitting with uncomfortable emotions. If this is you, sit with what is in the way of experiencing your new desire or embodiment. Be there with it until you feel it break up and begin to dissolve.

3. Continue to repeat the words with feeling, and let the new feeling and experience sink in. This will likely be a mixture of where you do and don’t believe it; where you are already able to access it and where you’re not (yet). Keep going and allowing things to move. You know they’re working when the emotional dust gets kicked up. And you know they’re working when the dust clears and new ways of being settle themselves inside of you.

4. Allow it to be a practice. Whenever you choose a new way of being, you’ll be shown where you are not being it as much as where you’re becoming it. Return to the *full* practice of this throughout your process of becoming. Alchemy happens in phases and layers. Who you are becoming requires you to clean out who you were, who you no longer desire to be, *and* to consciously continue to choose who you be.

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