How to Create an Ideal Mentor Relationship

As a hungry undergrad, I always felt unsure about whether I was going to make it. I was a scholarship student, maintained a relatively high GPA, and secured internships each summer. None of these opportunities ever made me feel like my spot was truly secure. I felt like any misstep could land me right back in the south side of Chicago. No semblance of security arrived until an experience I had with near-peer mentorship.

While at a networking event, a mentor of mine saw my anxious enthusiasm. I left no stone unturned. I met every person, and ensured everyone knew who I was, what my mission was, and how I could be helpful to them. He saw that I was unwilling to leave anything to chance. In a glancing moment that he likely forgot, he tapped me and said,?

“Hey Justin, I see you working hard. I just want you to know that as uncertain as it seems right now, you’re going to be a star. And hey, sometimes you’re actually more effective when you don’t try so hard. Knowing you, you probably won’t take my word for it, but everything is going to be alright.”

Surprisingly, a feeling of warmth came over me. For this brief moment, I felt safe. His words felt real. I felt sure that things would eventually work out. Largely because a person I admired who had worked very hard and who I regarded as highly intelligent and competent said so. This left a lasting effect on how I showed up to future events.

As simple as his words were, because of who he was, they breathed life into me. I’ve aspired to bring this attitude to my role as a mentor with the Chevy Discover the Unexpected (DTU) program. My summer experience reinforced an essential truth - mentorship is most influential when it’s organic and real.

The Chevy DTU Fellowship is a 10-week program offering undergraduate HBCU fellows a deep dive into marketing, journalism, communications, and auto industry tech. Yet, beyond the structured activities, it's in the unscripted conversations that learning and growth truly happen.

While playing a casual game of spades in Detroit filled with banter with our dynamic young DTU fellows, they began to open up to me. They started telling me about their career aspirations, the types of content they liked to create, and how hard they had been working to ensure that they’d have a job, money and a future lined up. The distraction of a spades game creates the same atmosphere as a barbershop or dinner table conversation. It can allow vulnerable topics to arise that would otherwise be uncomfortable in direct face-to-face moments. I listened intently, but kept my disposition casual. When advice was sought, I provided minor nudges.

Over the course of the 10-week program, I noticed that this spades game had a ripple effect. The fellows were increasingly comfortable talking to me about ongoing issues at home, struggles in the workplace and solving existential crises around what they wanted to dedicate their talents to for the rest of their lives.

A culmination of this occurred when one of the students began passionately telling me about all of the programs they were involved in, all of the extracurricular activities they had signed up for, and how many opportunities they had lined up in the future. In this student, I saw a young, anxious Justin. Someone who was determined to create a 100% chance of success. Someone who would leave nothing to chance. In a full circle moment, I knew exactly what to tell them,

“Yo, listen. It’ll take a while for these words to sink in, but you’ve got it. The talent, the hunger, the drive. It’s going to take hard work, but the ingredients are already in you. You’re going to be a star.”

The student fell silent for some time.

To me, a good mentor should feel like a “big bro”. Someone who doesn’t quite wag their finger at you like a parent, but will shamelessly tell you what you need to hear, even if it gets on your nerves. Someone who has established a foundation of love and trust, and continuously builds upon that by volunteering their own vulnerability. Someone who is on their own journey alongside you, and has already made a few mistakes that mentees can learn from.?

As Maya Angelou wisely noted, "people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."?

My experiences with the Chevy DTU program reinforce the idea that mentorship goes beyond formal guidance. It's about being real, relatable, and being there. Through our time in Detroit and Nashville and those spontaneous one-on-one chats, I aimed to be a voice of assurance while also pushing the fellows to improve and grow. It's a dynamic I first experienced as an uncertain undergrad and now strive to foster as a mentor.

See me in action at the annual DTU bootcamp at nnpa.org/Chevydtu