How to Create An Epic Marriage Without Years of Therapy or Counseling

Here's how I created an open, honest and meaningful marriage without spending years in counseling or therapy

If you’ve ever wanted to hear…

"Our talks lately have been so meaningful. I feel we understand each other better than ever."

You must learn and integrate the principles of Elevated Relating.

I don’t know about you but I wasn’t taught how to create an epic marriage.

School didn’t teach me.

Parents didn’t teach me.

Church didn’t teach me.

Hell…the vast majority of New Age Spirituality didn’t teach me either.

I felt like I was somehow magically supposed to just know how to do it.

Communicate they said.

If that was the truth, then everyone who knows how to speak would have an epic marriage.

Over the past ten years, I’ve found there are three things you must know if you want to have a marriage that feels supportive, on-fire, meaningful, and fun.

I call it Elevated Relating and the three things you must know how to do are:

???? Transcend Drama

?? Speak Truth

?? Create Outcomes

Here’s why.

If you don’t know how to Transcend Drama, your marriage will constantly suck your life force from your bone marrow.

You know what I’m talking about.

You wake up to another day, and think to yourself…”fuck, this is so fucking hard. Surely, it would be easier with another person.”

And it probably would be until that ‘new’ person pokes on your wounds once again.

Most relationships have various threads of Drama going on.

And when I say Drama what I mean is someone in your relationship is playing the role of either hero, victim, or villain. Or multiple roles all at the same time.

And until you learn how to Transcend Drama, Drama will continue to play out.

The good news is it’s easier than you may think.

The second thing you must do to create a supportive and meaningful marriage is learn how to Speak Truth.

Now, this doesn’t mean you have fun liberty to spew blame and shame at and on your partner.

And.?

It also means you cannot simply keep withholding either.

So what are you to do?

Easy.?

Learn how to Speak Truth.

And again. It’s easier than you may think. You just haven’t been taught ‘how’ or the principles.

And lastly, if you have to have a supportive and meaningful marriage you must learn to Create Outcomes.

I used to be afraid to lead inside my marriage.

I mean…what if I ‘hurt’ her feelings? I didn’t want another argument.?

Happy wife, happy life, right?

Nope. That’s a weak-ass, miserable fucking marriage.

I’ve learned to Create Outcomes by knowing and owning what I want.

And notice my language.?

What I ‘want’ and not what I ‘need.’

I need my wife for NO THING.?

Not even sex.

She’s 100% free to be herself.?

And so am I.

And from this place, we can choose how we want to create life together.

But one of the first foundational pieces to this is knowing what I want, having the courage to speak it into existence, and asking her if she wants to create it with me.

And if she doesn’t, can I listen to her reasoning and needs behind why not without taking it personal?

If I can’t, then again, the relationship will be in drama because I’d be playing the Victim (again). Look - creating an epic marriage is easy and simple once you understand the foundational principles.

Every church, school, or default conditioning fucks this up.

They’ve failed us.

They haven’t equipped us to thrive relationally.

So it’s not your fault if your marriage isn’t what you want it to be right now.

And the good news is you can create it into whatever it is the two of you choose it to be.

And it starts with learning to implement Elevated Relating into your marriage.

Together we RISE and SHINE.

Let me know what you found to be most helpful in the comments below.

RISE AND SHINE.