How to Create Conscious Connection

We all want to feel heard. Understood. Like we matter.

Yet lately, it seems no one is listening. Our culture is trapped in a nightmare of disconnection—everyone screaming over each other, committed to conflict, leaving all parties disheartened.

We’ve all felt it. The frustration when you're speaking with someone who won't let you finish a sentence. The hurt when your unique perspective is dismissed by those unwilling to open their minds.

We tell ourselves, "If only others would listen, we could find common ground." But are we truly listening to them, and to ourselves? Are we making space for experiences outside our own?

After 20 years empowering major organizations, leadership strategist Talia Fox has seen what happens when connection breaks down. She's developed an approach to help leaders foster deeply connected cultures. It's called the LOVE model -?

Listen deeply

Observe systems and patterns

Value alignment and cultural competence

Engage through storytelling.

In this divisive era, Talia's insights couldn't be more relevant. Her LOVE framework offers tools to rebuild understanding, even with those we disagree with most.

I recently had Talia on my podcast, SPARKED, where we explored practical ways to transform conflict into cooperation. Like me, I'm sure you have someone in your life you just can't seem to see eye-to-eye with. Maybe a colleague, a neighbor, even a family member. If we tried Talia's techniques, could it shift the dynamic? Could we find common ground?

Here are four ways Talia's LOVE model can help bridge divides:

1. Listen Without Judgment

The first step is listening - and I don’t just mean passively hearing words. Talia calls active listening “the portal to wisdom.” It means quieting our minds, taming our thoughts, and taking in information without bias.

Exercises like a “listening diet” build this skill. For 90 days, eliminate distractions in meetings and listen for values, repeating themes, triggers, and power dynamics. You’ll gain priceless wisdom about your team.

1. Observe the bigger picture

We all operate within larger systems and cultures that can be “micro” level, like immediate family or teams, or macro, like entire organizations, communities or societies. These influence how we behave, the norms we live into or fight against, and our receptivity to others.?

Spend some time observing the bigger picture, then explore how that might be informing both your own thinking and behavior, as well as those you interact with.

1. Cultivate Cultural Competence

The “V” in LOVE stands for values. This includes aligning your behaviors with what matters to you. But it also means developing cultural competence - appreciating difference, seeing diversity as an asset, and adjusting your approach across cultures.

It’s natural to be drawn to those like us. But neuroscience shows that real spark comes from engaging with different perspectives and experiences. Lean into discomfort - it's where the magic lies.

1. Engage Through Storytelling

Storytelling and powerful questions are key to conscious connection. Imagine a world where, instead of opposition, our differences become opportunities to learn. Where we align our words with our highest values. Talia calls this “connection chef” mode - curating experiences that open hearts and minds.

With conscious listening, observation, cultural competence, and inclusive storytelling, we can turn disconnect into understanding. Talia’s LOVE model is a framework for leaders to foster belonging on their teams.

But this takes daily practice and commitment. Next time you find yourself in a challenging interaction, resist the urge to attack or defend. Instead, get curious. Listen deeply, without judgment. Observe the bigger cultural dynamics. Find the shared values behind differing positions. Lead with empathy. And, reclaim the narrative.

This is hard work. But it's how we'll build a world where no one wins unless we all do. A world where conflicts end in handshakes, not clenched fists. Where diversity is celebrated as strength.

If you're feeling disconnected from your team and longing for deeper understanding, I invite you to listen to my full conversation with Talia on the SPARKED podcast. I hope you'll have a listen and start building these skills into your daily life. Small acts of empathy compounded can transform workplaces, communities, and cultures. The change begins with each of us. #communication #teambuilding #organizationalculture

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