How to Cope with Senseless Tragedies

In the wake of the insane assault on churchgoers Sunday, I have to acknowledge that senseless tragedies are by definition without sense. They don’t have meaning. They’re never going to have meaning. They’re horrible things that happen to both good and “bad” people. They’re out of our control. That’s why I’m not going to pretend to have any ideas for making sense out of them.

But I can share how I cope with them, whether it seems a rare event or—as it seems lately—one of an endless stream of horrors. My approach is quite simple, really.

First, I grieve. I cry. I curse the evils in this world. I pray.

I may go through these steps multiple times over multiple days. But then I take a second step.

I look around and deliberately find the grace, beauty, and love in my life. I find the treasures. I find the miracles. And I focus on them. I give thanks for them. I treasure them and feed them.

Because to do otherwise—to give into the fear and anguish and anger—is to let the evil, sick ones win. Don’t let the bastards win.

Embrace life, cherish it, be happy.

Yesterday in church my minister talked about All Saints and All Souls Days. He reminded us that there are saints on earth—with a lower case “s”—who let God’s light shine through them. We all have, or have had, people like that in our lives. Some of them were murdered yesterday.

But we can honor them by focusing on the light that shone through them, and by challenging ourselves to likewise be a portal for God’s light.

We can become beacons of hope, and in so doing, begin to heal our little corner of the world.

“There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'

No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.” ~Dalai Lama XIV

Don't lose your hope. Don't let others lose theirs. Don't let the bastards win.

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Marcy McDonald is the author of Build Happiness: Block-Based Exercises to Change Your Perspective and Change Your Life. https://buildhappiness.today