How to Cope with Disappointment
Well, Monday was a bit trying, a humbling reminder that patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s a necessity. As Storm Bret battered much of the UK over the weekend, I found myself grateful to be tucked away in my cosy (and importantly, dry) home. The BBC news showed nearby Tenbury Wells knee-deep in water yet again, and my heart went out to the shopkeepers, some of whom I know personally. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c8jydlrwzy3o
Living in rural Worcestershire, my home often becomes an island during heavy flooding, an inconvenience, yes, but thankfully not a threat. However, Monday morning brought a surprise of a different sort.
The waters had begun to recede, a relief, until I glanced toward my fields. Even from several hundred meters away, I could see it: a huge jagged tear across the lower field on the side of the hill, it was like an earthquake had passed through. I'd had a landslide!
For those who follow my posts, you may recall my recent triumph: a successful groundwork project involving a digger and a vision. (https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/when-asking-help-changes-everything-malcolm-wild-bqzoe/) I was rather pleased with myself, smug even, after a well-executed job for a fraction of the forecast cost. Fast forward only one week, and the universe, or God(s), or karma, or maybe just physics, decided to dump hundreds of tonnes of soil back where I’d just cleared.
It felt like perhaps it was the Gods punishing me, like Sisyphus, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus) for those who know their Greek mythology. Was I destined to be forever moving the earth uphill? Well no, nothing as dramatic was going on.
Could I have foreseen that a month’s worth of rain would fall overnight, destabilizing the hill? Perhaps. Could I have done anything differently? Maybe. But here I was, staring at an expensive and potentially dangerous mess.
The Lesson: Sh*t Happens
When life throws a metaphorical (or literal) landslide your way, the first thing to do is breathe.
I allowed myself a heavy sigh, followed by a muttered, “Typical, two steps forward, one step back.” That was about as emotional as I got. Wandering back to the house in the bitterly cold rain, I made a cup of tea and reflected on the situation:
Most importantly: There’s nothing I can do right now, so why rush into action?
Respond, Don’t React
Taking a step back to reassess the situation is often the best course of action. Rash decisions rarely improve things. Instead, I focused on my day while the solution unfolded in my mind: wait for a dry day, hire a bigger digger, and bring in good help to ensure this doesn’t happen again.
We can’t always control or foresee the events that shape our lives, but we can control how we respond. This is leant process and for many of us it doesn't come by default, especially if the stakes and emotions are running high. A thoughtful approach, coupled with a calm head, often prevents turning a disaster into a catastrophe.
The Takeaway
Whether it’s a landslide, a flat tire, an argument with a loved one, or a bad day at work, the process is the same, putting a moment between the Reaction and Response to Reflect will reap the rewards.
Hindsight will no doubt offer me a silver lining to this mess, that’s for another day. For now, the fix involves a bigger digger when hopefully we get a dry spell.
The next time life takes an unexpected turn, remember: it’s okay to take a moment. Disasters often make for the best stories, everything can be fixed and maybe we can get a little wisdom in the process to share.
Stay warm and dry wherever you are!
About the author: Malcolm Wild is a technologist with over 25 years experience in retail and ecommerce, combined with consulting and delivery experience across APAC, EMEA and USA. He brings this historical experience to clients in an ever evolving landscape.?Any views represented here are those of the author and not necessarily those of any organization or employer that he may represent. www.malcolmwild.com 2024 (c).