How to control your image and conquer yourself
Ronaldo Turla, CHRP?
Professional Speaker, Human Resource Consultant, and Filipino Author
In this article, we explore the different aspects of self-esteem, self confidence and entitlement that affects our image both the private and public.
Self and public images are mirrored reflections of each other and understanding their differences and similarities will help you manage both. By recognizing the important elements that create yourself and public images and getting them in sync, you'll be able to solidify your image and position wherever you may work.
Bottom line: It's easier to project a positive public image based upon a sound self-image and it's difficult to impress others of what you yourself are unconvinced. After all, a solid image is the foundation of success in every aspect of your career.
Self Image
The confidence to succeed in any meaningful pursuit increases the likelihood of being successful. However, meaningful self-confidence is based upon a realistic assessment of your strong, mediocre and weak points. In other words, there are things that you are good at, things which you can make an effort to improve and things for which you would be better off getting someone else's help to get done.
Start with a few hills, and eventually you'll be able to take the higher peaks in stride. Self image is the unique portrait you construct of yourself. You can't alter the physical reality of your existence ( i.e height, age, and past history) but you can certainly control the way you think about it. If you are dissatisfied with your current image of yourself, why not change it?
Self-image forms during infancy and evolves into the foundation of the adult personality. Culture biases, family influence, economic conditions and environmental pressures play a major role in this inevitable process.
Expectations are programmed into us throughout childhood. This is when the seeds of anticipation- not just success and failure, but how much of each we come to expect are sown. Some anticipate achieving excellence in whatever they may choose, while others develop doubts in their ability and perhaps in their worthiness to succeed. If you expect to win, your chances of success are enhanced, whereas the expectation of losing makes that a probability.
Self Esteem
Self Esteem is the way you think and feel about yourself. It is an impression based on how much you like and respect yourself and the degree to which your ego is satisfied. Your inner portrait and the picture you project are the end result of your recognition and control of those influences. A healthy, balanced ego enables you to get along with most people while pursuing your objectives; a distorted or unstable ego is a snake let loose, poisonous to you and troublesome for others. the path to self-esteem is based upon our awareness and acceptance of how and what you are, the link between the way you view yourself and how the outside world sees you.
Believing in yourself encourages expansion of your goals and provides the energy and confidence to pursue them. It is helpful to objectively assess your strengths and weaknesses in order to discover which areas need to be fortified and which ventures appear to offer the most promise. To verify the accuracy of what you think you know about yourself, take a look at your track record.
Do friends and colleagues tend to treat you the way you expect to be treated?
Do they seem to appreciate your company and contributions as you believe they should?
If not, there may be a gap between your personal and public images. Ask the opinion of some trusted friends and colleagues, then make a list of what you believe to be your major positive and negative qualities Here is an example:
Example : People seem to like talking to me.
Reference : Beth: I'm average ; Louie: I could do better
2. Positive Quality : Good presentation skills
Example: My last three presentations were well-received
Reference: Beth: agrees Louie: Okay, but sometimes talks too fast; Mark: Same as Louie.
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3. Negative Quality: Slow to adapt
Example: Still not comfortable with new software applications
Reference: Beth: Disagree and says I learn quickly when I pay attention; Larry: I seem to have a better communication skills than technical skills
4. Negative Quality: Not considered a management material
Example: Haven't been promoted to the next management level
Reference: Beth: Keep working on it ; Larry: Do I really want to be a manager? Phil: Need to sharpen my image
It's natural to critique yourself as long as your criticism are reasonable and reasonably objective. Remember, introspection needs to be oriented the same way as other forms of appraisal: toward correction and improvement.
Self-confidence
Self confidence is the belief in your ability to make things turn out right. It generates enthusiasm to accept a challenge and teh energy to accomplish it. Psychology professor Martin Seligman reminds us that
"Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on optimists as it does on pessimists. The difference is that the optimist weather them better."
Self confidence is partially based upon accomplishments and to an even greater extent upon your image of who you are. Do you derive satisfaction from your achievements? Do you agonize over errors? Are you intolerant of what you perceive to be your weaknesses? Are you able to accept, appreciate and reward yourself? To avoid major obstacles to self confidence, teach yourself not to:
Fortunately, attitudes are tendencies that can be encouraged or changed. A positive mental attitude equates to being programmed for success and the opposite is also true. Surveys reveal that more than nine employees out ten judge their work performance to be in the upper 50 percent of their profession and environment. While this is statistically impossible, it does provide an insight into the way people seem to value themselves. It also exposes a disparity between their self and public images and may shed some light on why so many have difficulty accepting criticisms or feedback.
Entitlement
Entitlement is the belief that one has an innate right to possess whatever one desires. Making an effort to position yourself for success is one thing; expecting to get anything and everything just because you feel that you deserve it is something very different. For the most part, you will need to earn your way upward and onward.
Taking over someone else's job for instance, may require time and patience, especially if the they guy who currently has it is well-thought of by his superiors. Working to become an excellent second-in command may eventually get you there when he is promoted, leaves or retires. Find out if there is a competitor waiting in the wings who is poised to step in front of you, preventing you from getting the position you feel you deserve. This can help to mitigate your disappointments hen the inevitable happens and enable you take a more productive towards your goal.
Controlling your image
Image control is how you consciously represent yourself to the world. It requires recognition of the image you actually give out, a clear picture of the image you would like to project and understanding of how to bring this in harmony.
Example: You are confident of your ability to manage a project, but your boss and co-employees do not appear to take you seriously in this regard. To bridge the gap, you volunteer to serve as an assistant project manager to someone you trust to recognize your contributions and support your ambitions.