How To Control Emotional Triggers So That They Don't Derail You

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

In today’s fast-paced workplaces, professionals are expected to maintain composure, make sound decisions, and lead with confidence. However, emotional triggers—deep-seated reactions to certain situations, words, or behaviors—can quickly derail even the most seasoned professionals. Whether it’s a dismissive comment in a meeting, an unexpected criticism, a perceived slight from a colleague, or other emotional ‘shtuff’, these triggers can spark emotional reactions that lead to poor decision-making, damaged relationships, and stalled careers.

The Cost of Emotional Triggers in the Workplace

When professionals react impulsively to emotional triggers, the fallout can be significant. They may lash out in anger, withdraw from important conversations, or make rash decisions that they later regret. These reactions can erode trust, create unnecessary conflict, and undermine their leadership effectiveness and presence. Over time, unregulated emotional responses can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and even career stagnation and derailment.

For instance, a manager who feels slighted when their ideas are challenged might react defensively in meetings, shutting down collaboration. An executive who is triggered by criticism might avoid difficult conversations, allowing unresolved issues to fester. A high-potential employee who struggles with imposter syndrome may misinterpret feedback as a sign of incompetence and hesitate to take on new challenges.

Fortunately, professionals can learn to manage their emotional triggers, preventing them from interfering with their performance and relationships. Here are three steps to neutralize these triggers:

Step 1: Identify Your Triggers with Self-Reflection

The first step in managing emotional triggers is self-awareness. Pay attention to patterns in your reactions. For example, what specific situations or comments set you off? Is it when someone questions your expertise? When you feel excluded? Or… When you perceive that your ?authority is undermined? By recognizing these triggers, you can anticipate them and prepare a more measured response.

Here is a practical tip: Keep a journal of moments when you feel emotionally reactive at work. Note what happened, how you felt, and how you responded. Over time, patterns will emerge thereby helping you understand the root causes of your triggers.

Step 2: Pause and Reframe the Situation

When a trigger is activated, your immediate reaction may not be the most constructive. Instead of responding impulsively, take a deep breath and pause. Ask yourself: “What’s another way to interpret this situation?” Often, what we perceive as personal attacks are simply misunderstandings, differences in communication styles, or unconscious biases at play.

Here is a practical tip: Use cognitive reframing techniques. For example, if your manager gives you severely critical feedback, instead of thinking, They don’t appreciate my work, reframe it as, This feedback can help me grow.

Step 3: Develop Emotional Agility

Emotional agility is the ability to navigate emotions with flexibility rather than reacting rigidly. It allows professionals to respond thoughtfully rather than instinctively. This involves regulating emotions through mindfulness, deep breathing, and practicing emotional intelligence skills like empathy and self-regulation.

Here is a practical tip: Before responding, use the 10-second rule—pause for ten seconds to center yourself. Engage in mindfulness practices like meditation, the body scan or deep breathing to build long-term emotional resilience.

Conclusion

Emotional triggers don’t have to derail your career. By identifying them, pausing to reframe your perspective, and cultivating emotional agility, you can stay in control, maintain professionalism, and foster stronger workplace relationships. The ability to regulate your emotions is not just a personal asset – it’s a leadership super-skill.