How to connect with your power.

You have power.

You have the power to change anything in your life. You have the power to make your dreams come true. You have the power to make your life what you want it to be. But I know you don't feel that way most of the time.

In fact, much of the time it probably feels like you were absent the day they handed out power. (Or at the very least, you missed the instructions on how to use it.) Today I'm going to introduce you to your power, and teach you how to use it to have what you want.

Power itself is a misunderstood concept. It's sometimes confused with position or wealth. (When I used to think about power, I thought about a bunch of rich old white guys in suits. Which means I didn't relate at all.)

Power is actually super straight forward. It's just about your ability to impact or influence things. And you have that. Everyone does, actually.

There are three foundational building blocks of power. You already use them every day. They are; what you think, what you say, and what you do. The way you manage these fundamentals form the basis of your power in the world.

In this week's episode of GrooveTV I'll teach you how to use all three. You CAN have more of what you want in your life, (and less of what you don't). You don't ever have to feel powerless again. Think of this like a little workshop on control, right at your fingertips. Sounds good, right? Press PLAY already, and let's unleash that power of yours, shall we?

Step 1 - Be FOR you.

You need to stop being mean to yourself. 

This is the think part. It's about that little voice in your head. You know the one. It tells you what's wrong with you. It's made an inventory of your shortcomings, (and it reminds you about them on a regular basis). It's great at listing all the reasons you can't have what you want. This voice is your enemy masquerading as a friend.

Imagine I'm handing you a muzzle.

Put it on that voice.

You CANNOT beat up on yourself in your head and expect to live an empowered life. It's not possible. Your inner bully needs to be put down. (Seriously, this BS stops today, okay?)

We all know what happens when you confront a bully. The coward folds, right? Yours will too. Start noticing when you're being unkind. Catch yourself in the moment. Whose voice are you repeating? What circumstances got you to bully central? Become aware.

Meet the voice of your bully by saying, "Thank you. No thank you." Then think about what your very best friend would say to you, and say that.

Do that over and over again. Do it until. Muzzle your inner bully. Be FOR you. Congratulations, your power triad is engaged. :)

As usual, this next one is a little bit tougher. But you and your inner best friend can handle it.

Step 2 - Speak on your own behalf.

This is the say part. What you say matters. What you don't say matters too.

There are two components to this step. It's about what you say in your outside voice, and what you hold yourself back from saying out in the world.

First, back to that bully inside your head. You can't let her use your mouth. Do not speak against yourself. Don't use your own voice to keep yourself down.

That sounds obvious, right? Of course you don't want to keep yourself down. It doesn't even make any sense when you read it in print, does it? But I bet you do it.

How often do you talk about your shortcomings, deflect compliments, or make jokes at your own expense? These are all ways of speaking against you. And if you want empowerment you have to stop it.

You handle this just like the voice inside your head. Notice it. Catch yourself doing it. No beating yourself up when you do. Instead, look at the situation and learn. What's going on around you? Who is around you? What are you afraid of? Why are you playing small?

My grandmother used to use the phrase, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Yours probably did too. Grandma was one smart cookie. Follow her advice. Catch yourself when you start to use your own voice against yourself. Then shut your mouth. For real.

Ironically, the other part of this step asks you to do the exact opposite of closing your mouth. You see there are many circumstances in life that will require you to open those powerful lips of yours and speak on your own behalf. That's the other part of this step.

Use your voice to make requests, set boundaries, share your opinion, and express yourself. No more stuffing, repressing, or going along to get along. Powerful women don't do that, and you are a powerful woman, remember?

This step takes practice. Start by silencing that inner bully of yours. Then begin asking for what you want. Speak up for yourself my sister. Your empowerment depends on it. 

Okay, home stretch.

Step 3 - Line your behavior up with what you want.

This is the do part. Guess what? What you do matters. What you don't do matters too.

You can have what you want, but you're gonna need to work for it. You're gonna need to roll your sleeves up and get into action.

There are likely some things you're going to need to start doing that you haven't been doing, and there are almost certainly some things you're doing right now that you're gonna need to stop doing.

You can't behave in a way that conflicts with what you want and hope to get it.

But when you line your behavior up with what you want, you can't help but have it.

I have two questions for you.

• To have what you want, what do you need to START doing?
• To have what you want, what do you need to STOP doing?

Start. Or stop. Do it one choice at a time. You're in charge. In fact, with all three of these steps, you are in complete control. (Very cool, right?)

Practice working with these power building blocks this week. I'll be practicing right along with you. Then talk to me about what's up with you. How does this feel? Are you super excited, or kinda terrified? What little tricks are working for you? Where are you getting tripped up? I want to help. That's why I'm here.

You CAN do this. Whatever is going on in your life right now, you can change it. You can make it better. You can make your dreams come true. You'll think, say and do your way there.

That's it for the week. Please remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what's right for you. (I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom.) Give this week's advice a test drive. Once you do, let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you! There are four ways for us to interact.

• Comment in the comments section.
• Chat with me on Instagram or Facebook.
• Email me if you have something more private you'd like to ask. My personal email is [email protected]. I'm the only one reading your messages, and it's always me answering them.
• Join me on FB Live for a free coaching session every other Wednesday at 3pm PT/6pm ET (next week!). We talk about the latest episode of GrooveTV and we get to connect live, which is so much fun! (Like so much!)

I'm here for your empowerment. If you haven't already joined my community, please do it at my website (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). I'll send you a free coaching video and blog every Wednesday, and we'll take those pins out of your heart together. :)    

Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.

You got this!

XO

Kim