How to Be Complementarian in the Most Egalitarian Part of the World

The Nordics are among the most progressive places in the world with regard to gender differences, and The Gospel Coalition’s position on men's and women's service roles in the church is often considered a more controversial theological stance. So we thought it important to clarify and elaborate on what we mean by complementarianism as we develop a local Nordic branch of TGC.

By "complementarianism," we mean the broad approach that says men and women are created equal in value and in God's image and yet different physically and spiritually, in such a way to complement one another and to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church (Gen. 1:27; Eph. 5:32). Practically speaking, this limits the role of elders (including pastors) in the church to men and encourages men to take initiative as the head in the home. This contrasts with the egalitarian position, which holds that men and women share the same function and purpose in the church and home.

This isn't just an issue for progressive northern Europe. As complementarianism is increasingly cast aside throughout the world, churches and organizations everywhere will have to wrestle to maintain biblical fidelity when it comes to gender. We hope our approach will provide a useful template for others in the coming years.

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As a woman with a strong sense of calling to ministry, I (Hanna) shouldn't have found it so hard to choose a side in the theological discussion of a woman’s role in the church. It was easy to buy the arguments of the egalitarian position given by my leaders and teachers. The way forward seemed clear for my life: study theology for a couple of years, work as a youth or children’s pastor, and then take the step forward to senior pastor. I had all the right conditions in place—a strong sense of calling, a passion for the gospel and church, and a gifting for leadership and teaching.

So I naturally followed all the steps and did what I believed was God’s calling for my life. I earned my bachelor’s in theology and became a pastor for a local church. But although everything seemed right on the outside, I had a secret stone in my shoe that wouldn’t stop chafing my conscience. Deep in my heart and mind, there was one thing missing: biblical conviction.

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The Bible doesn't shy away from the hot topics of today’s society, such as gender and sexuality. But what the Bible actually says about these issues can be hard to swallow for those raised within the progressive ideologies of the feminist movement. As a boy, raised within both Swedish and American cultures, I (Christian) was taught equality was the most important goal in relationships between men and women.

However, when my Swedish single mother became a Christian in my preteens, she began realizing the Bible called her to something even higher than equality: counting others more significant than herself (Phil. 2:3). As her understanding of the gospel deepened, my home life was transformed, even as my mom wrestled with the implications of God’s design.

Many of us have been taught it's a matter of serious injustice if a woman doesn’t have full access to every position a man can have. But when the Bible sets limits for men and women in the church, it also teaches that limits aren't a matter of injustice but of order (1 Cor. 14:40). We’ve been taught that leadership is power and that masculine power is almost always destructive, but the Bible says leadership is service and that a man who follows Christ must self-sacrificially lay down his life, using his strength to protect and serve (Matt. 20:25–28; Eph. 5:25).

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As Christians, we live by faith in things we cannot see and don't fully understand. Trust in God, rather than ourselves, is a most foundational element of our faith. We trust God’s love, his power, and his plan. We trust him for our eternal destiny as well as for his provision for our daily bread. We trust that Christ’s blood covers our sins and that through him we're completely free and forgiven. We trust the Bible is God’s Word, desiring to follow what it says even when it’s hard or we don't fully understand the reason behind some of its commandments. We obey God’s Word not by fear but because we trust that Jesus is Lord and that he knows what’s best far better than we do.

When I (Hanna) started to read specific Bible texts about men and women (e.g., Gen. 1–3; 1 Cor. 11:1–16; 1 Tim. 2:11–15; Eph. 5:22–33; 1 Pet. 3:1–7) with trust instead of suspicion as my foundation, everything changed. I stopped trying to find interpretations that could justify going around what the text clearly seemed to say and started to trust that God had a good reason to say what he said.

Almost immediately, the confusing parts of the puzzle found their proper places, and the whole picture started to make more sense to me. I could see the beauty in God’s creation of two genders: equal in value, yet differing in design and purpose. I could see that God’s plan isn't oppressive but compassionate, designed for our best and for his glory.

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As we approach living out these convictions in the church life in the Nordic countries, perhaps it’s worth asking if the battle over God's design for gender is even worth fighting. In societies where gender is widely accepted as a construct, and any differentiation in treatment between men and women is strongly condemned, is this a value vital to stand on?

We believe we must. We shouldn’t come ready to fight, because the battle for the culture is, in many ways, already lost. However, the greater battle for men and women’s souls isn't lost. As Christ's followers, we must live with a disarming honesty about our positions that will inevitably seem culturally backward to people. We must live as those who trust God and are free from pleasing man.

Rather than trying to posture ourselves as cool and modern, we can be up-front about how backward we'll seem, then get on with the hard work of “prov that our love is real, over and over again,” as my favorite Swedish metal band, Blindside, says.

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What about the abuse and neglect of women throughout history and into today? How does that inform the discussion on men and women in the church?

Tragically, we must admit that much abuse has been done against women in God's name. But every time the Bible is used to oppress, exploit, or silence women, it's an abusive handling not only of the women but of God’s Word. The Bible is clear that God cares for women and wants to use them in powerful ways for his kingdom. Many women in the Bible had indispensable parts to play in salvation history. Jesus valued women, and Paul praised the women who served alongside him on his mission trips.

Therefore, it's important to state that complementarianism doesn't at all mean only a few select men have a call from God to serve in the church. We all have that calling. Every part in Christ's body is needed—men and women complement and depend on each other. If the women in a church aren't thriving, the men cannot flourish, and vice versa.

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Complementarianism means the heavy responsibilities of the elder/pastor are carried out by qualified men, to serve and care for the congregation, never to rule over them. Women and laymen can then be even more free to do everything God has called and gifted them for, with the help and support of their leaders.

For me (Hanna), this means that although I’m no longer a pastor, my calling hasn't changed. I’m fully convinced I serve God even better now as I follow the biblical guidelines for men and women in the church than when I took on the service of elder.

We believe it's vital that we men and church leaders actively seek out and encourage women’s proper participation in church ministry. Because God has designed men and women to complement one another, no church service will be complete without the perspective of that church community's women.

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Perhaps an even more practical question for ministry in the Nordics is this: How can complementarian churches relate to those who firmly stand by the Bible, yet hold an egalitarian position on women in ministry? The complementarian position is again a minority position, even among evangelical believers in the Nordics.

We want to emphasize that though we believe the theological debate between egalitarian and complementarian perspectives is important, it doesn't strike at the gospel and doesn't prevent us from Christian friendship with those who disagree. Therefore, it’s important to maintain a tone of respect and open dialogue with churches who differ with us on this matter, continuing to seek opportunities to partner together for mission and service.

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In conclusion, is it possible to build complementarian churches in the Nordics? Yes, we absolutely believe it's both possible and necessary. We can trust that God’s plan is the best, and therefore we can confidently follow the biblical guidelines. Many people will not agree with or fully understand our perspective, but we're free from needing to please man.

We're not here to preach complementarianism first, but rather the gospel of redemption through Jesus Christ who died for our sins and rose to give us life. We live in an age of fragile secular consensus that leads people to a desperate overdesire for identity often found in causes that are good but not big enough to hold the weight of their souls. If we come to these people ready to admit we hold views that may be offensive, and then go on with the hard work of loving and serving them nonetheless, we may be much more effective at earning their audience than when we engage in endless culture wars and debates.

This has a great deal to do with the gospel. We can and should agree with the culture that access to jobs in society should be strictly based on qualifications and not on gender. But in the Christian church and home, we confess that our acceptance by God isn't based on our qualifications but rather on God’s grace alone. Likewise, God has called men to lead the church as pastors and elders based not on their own merits but on Christ's grace alone. We don't need to prove or battle for our identities. Our lives are hidden with Christ on high (Col. 3:3), so we can come into the gender conversation with an openness and security that we pray will be attractive and compelling to others around Europe.

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