How Compassion Heals Regret: A Coaching Conversation (11.9)
Fred Kofman
Executive Coach | President at Conscious Business Center International - CBC
“He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future.” Quevedo
Prakash made a mistake. He realized it and learned his lesson. But guilt won't leave him alone. Regret has turned unhealthy beating him up for past actions he cannot change. Worse yet, it has turned into shame, berating him for not "being" good enough.
In this coaching conversation, Prakash and I discuss how to distinguish healthy guilt from shame. We then work on how to end the unproductive cycle of self-blame through self-compassion.
Should you have any trouble viewing the video please click here to view on Fred's slideshare page
Readers: Are there any unhealthy regrets that you need to heal through self-compassion?
Fred Kofman is Vice President at Linkedin. This post is part 11.9 of Linkedin's Conscious Business Program. You can find the introduction and structure of this program here. Follow Fred Kofman on LinkedIn here. To stay connected and get updates please visit Conscious Business Academy and join our Conscious Business Friends group.
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5 年I am very aware that I need to have self compassion in all situations.
Managing Partner, Executive Coach/Facilitator - Programs with ??, ?? and ??(in Kenya!)
6 年Yes, there are some unproductive areas of guilt that I'm in process of healing. They tend to be more in my personal life. I've always been fairly good at dealing with work situations rationally. Personal stuff hits me harder, and thus I'm more apt to react in ways that are unhealthy (repress the feelings, etc).
Driven and energetic learning professional. Focus on organizational needs, big picture, collaboration, and involvement.
6 年This coaching conversation resonated so well with me - it was like I was hearing myself talk in many ways.
RSE | ESG | Gestion des risques | Ethique
6 年?I am not going to answer the question at the end of the post. I am going to share a personal experience hat I remembered while watching this video. Last summer, everything was ok from a "material" and physical point of view. I had a place, a plan for the coming months, back to sport, planning exciting trips and enjoying the summer in the south of France. However, something in me did not feel right. Something was bothering me and taking me down. I accepted to be unable to identify it and kept meditating daily.? One day during my meditation I realised that I as angry at myself. I was angry at myself for the way I reacted to/handled a particular situation (today, I can't remember which situation...:s). Then I spontaneously visualised a gigantic me yeling strongly to a small me seated in lotus pose. This picture made me laugh. The angry me was such a caricature! This character needed to express her anger. It was fascinating and funny to observe her excessiveness. Afterwards I felt so relieved. No? more burden. I felt simply good. Retrospectively and after watching prior videos, I guessthe angry me represented my reptilian thoughts/self and the seated version of me the neocortal thougths/self. The visualisation helped to shortcut the reptilian brain....
Psicóloga e Consultora Especialista em Desenvolvimento de Soft Skills e Lideran?a
6 年I believe that the way to be ready to see things clearly when we stop to beat ourselfs up. I started to use: what I can learn from this mistake that can change my next results.