How Comfortable are You with Discomfort?

I was exercising this morning and one of my favorite songs from my workout playlist came on: “Another Travelin’ Song” by Bright Eyes.

The song is pretty obscure, but I always liked it. There’s a line in it that really jumped out at me today:

“So I will find my fears and face them, or I will cower like a dog…”

It got me thinking about fear and how the only possible way to conquer fear is to face it.

And the only possible way to face your fear is to…

Get comfortable with discomfort.

Because, in the end, most of the things we avoid due to fear; we aren’t really avoiding the thing itself, we’re avoiding the discomfort it brings.

Being afraid feels like crap. The anxiety, the sweating palms, the shaking hands, the churning feeling in your stomach. It sucks.

So, we avoid the things that scare us to avoid the discomfort they bring. And we end up missing out on the opportunities that stepping into fear bring us. The success we experience in life is directly proportional to our ability to face our fears. If we keep avoiding scary situations because they make us uncomfortable, we live a limited life.

The only way to break that cycle is to get comfortable with discomfort. To allow yourself to step into those uncomfortable feelings, knowing that there’s a reward on the other side of that discomfort.

The good news is that there’s help to make it easier for us to face this discomfort.

The Stoic Philosophers provide us with practical advice and mindsets to help us lean into discomfort and face our fears.

Most of Your Fear is Made Up

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” ~ Seneca

That fearful situation you are avoiding? It’s not as scary as you’re making it out to be. Our imagination is a wonderful servant, but it can be a terrible master when it starts envisioning the worst possible case scenario.

Our hear starts racing and we fear we’re having a heart attack. We feel nervous and fear we will have a full blown anxiety attack. It’s very unlikely that the situation you are avoiding and the symptoms it elicits will cause you any real harm.

Tell yourself when you are imagining the worst:

“It’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be.”

These Feelings are Completely Natural

“For a human being to feel stress is normal — if he’s living a normal human life. And if it’s normal, how can it be bad?” ~ Marcus Aurelius

We don’t like the stress that a fearful situation causes, so we avoid it to avoid that stress. But that stress you are feeling? It’s completely normal. It’s a natural human reaction. Countless people feel that same stress when they face a fearful situation.

Tell yourself when you’re feeling stressed out about something:

“It’s completely natural to feel this way.”

Stop Worrying About What You Cannot Control

“Whenever I see a person suffering from nervousness, I think, well what can he expect? If he had not set his sights on things outside man’s control , his nervousness would end at once. Because he not only wants to perform well, he wants to be well received-and the latter is outside his control.” ~ Epictetus

Nervousness, it’s one of those feelings that cause us to avoid fearful situations. The classic example is speaking in front of other people. So many people avoid it because it makes them nervous.

But the only reason they feel nervous is because they’re focusing on something they cannot control: what other people will think of them. Epictetus tells us to shift our focus on what we can control and don’t worry about the things that lie outside our control; like what other people think of us.

The next time you feel too nervous to do something you want to do tell yourself:

“I will focus on the things I can control.”

So there you have it. Three Stoic suggestions to help you alleviate the discomfort you feel when you face fearful situations.

Get comfortable with discomfort. It’s the only way. The only way to overcome your fears and reap the rewards that those who face their fears get.

Find your fears and face them.

Don’t cower like a dog in front of them!