How to come overcome your inner critic

The first thing to know about the inner critic is that we all have it. Some more than others, but we all have it, and we all have our ways of dealing with it.

It usually manifests itself as negative internal commentary and follows regular patterns that you are more than familiar with by this stage in your life.

These patterns play over and over in our heads and are responsible for our general feeling of worthiness.

I don't know what yours is saying, but some common ones are it:

Tells you who you should be in your life, or it restricts your actions because it is telling you you're not good enough.

Or sometimes, it comes up with seemingly random and hurtful things, such as

'You're stupid'

'You're ugly'

'You really f***ked that up, didn't you?

These are just a few of the many examples of how our inner critic can sound. And unhelpfully it is always within us, just waiting to burst out and sabotage our true potential at any moment.

This is because it is part of our unconscious mind trying to direct us away from experiences and behavioural patterns that it sees as a threat. It has learned these over time from the experiences in your life, and it is trying to avoid any future feelings of discomfort.

But how often do you truly listen to what it is saying? Or has it become so automatic that you hear it, obey what it is saying, and continue down the path of self-sabotage and restrictive behaviour?

Here's the thing about the inner critic. Some of what it's saying will be right; some will be complete bullshit.

But what if I told you by actually analysing what it wants or what it is trying to tell you, then you can rewrite these thought patterns and turn the inner critic into the inner guide?

We can do this through a simple self-journaling exercise.

Ultimately - You're a person who wants to do things well, which always comes hand in hand with a part that seeks out potential improvements and problems. Your role is to reframe that voice: The criticism isn't proof that you're not good enough; it's proof of your desire and ability to be good. Full stop.'

So next time your critic is judging you or is telling you that you fucked something up, or is simply just making you feel worthless. Give this a try:

Task:

Write out your critic's thoughts. Spend five mins just dumping it all down on paper. Then cross out the monster stories (things like "I'm not good enough" and "I just worry if I'm cut out for this" and "how did I miss that?" Etc.); they're of little use here.

Then take a highlighter pen to it and highlight anything that can be used for growth (e.g. "What could I do better next time". "What can I learn from this?"…

Then use the growth statements to write out a game plan for a similar occurrence in the future.

Finally, keep the useful stuff and throw the rest of the journaling away.

You'll feel better after, I promise.