How to Come Out Stronger

It's spring!

No, this is not an Easter bunny. It's not an Easter chicken. It's an Easter lobster. "What the heck? What am I going to talk about today?" Well, today's blog is about renewal. I believe that Easter is a moment where we celebrate successfully moving through hard times. The vaccine is here, (okay maybe not as fast as we’d like and yet, there is hope for brighter days very soon), we have now created new habits, we are getting used to the new “normal”, spring is finally here, and it's rejuvenating. Leaves are budding, flowers are blossoming... It's a new beginning!

So what does the lobster have to do with Easter? I've learned from Alan Weiss, who talks a lot about the lobster principle, that lobsters go through a very similar process as they grow and it made me think of this time of rejuvenation and vulnerability. Sometimes, we face something new and it makes us vulnerable. We go through tough times, and then we come out a different person, rejuvenated, with a new beginning, with a new shell (like a lobster). In order to be able to do that, lobsters have to show their vulnerability. They have to be vulnerable before they can get stronger. I find that this is what has been happening for a lot of us too this past year. We may have hidden a little bit, just until we could grow our next shell.

If lobsters want to grow, they have to get rid of their shell, because it keeps them from growing. Somehow, they have to get out of that shell and then hide, because during the time that it takes in order to grow a new bigger shell, they are very vulnerable. They sometimes have to hide under a rock in order to safely wait for the time it takes to grow that new shell, to become stronger and bigger.

And then, when they come out, they will be really solid and ready to face the world. Eventually, they will have to leave that shell too in order to be able to grow an even bigger one! 

Where am I going with this? Well, I believe that this past year has been a time where vulnerability was needed. A year, where in order to grow, we needed to understand what made us vulnerable. We needed to open up. We needed to get rid of our protective shell. Very often, clients come to me and they say: "You know what? I've been trying to do this on my own for so long, because I'm strong. I keep repeating to myself that I can do this. And... It's not working." Sometimes, we need to show a bit of vulnerability, leave the old protective shell and say: "Hey, I need help." Or: "Hey, I feel like something's missing in order to have a successful business." Or: "I do believe that there might be some limiting beliefs holding me back and I'm willing to work on it."

That's how we show vulnerability, and that's how we get the space that we need to grow a stronger, bigger, better shell: By showing our vulnerability.

This past year, I have been more vulnerable myself. There's a lot of learnings from these times that made me stronger, and I too did need some time to process them. I needed some people to talk to about them as well. I'm a coach, so you may think that I can “help myself” and yet, the perspective of an outsider is always helping. But to ask for help, I needed to step on my ego and say: “I need help”. We always need somebody to help us with our vulnerabilities, help us talk it through so that we can realize what step we need to take next. Showing vulnerability doesn't mean showing that we're weak. It means showing that we're brave, willing to get stronger and that we're ready to get to the next level. 

Let's be like lobsters. Let's allow ourselves to be vulnerable so that we can get to the next level of our life.

And if there's anything I can help you with, I'd be happy to. Let's have a virtual coffee together, and then we can discuss how I can help you get rid of this old shell so that you can have all the room you need to grow.