How coaches deal with disappointment

After a particular weekend of racing where a few athletes' races just didn’t go to plan, I was genuinely gutted for my athletes. I wanted to explore my own reflections of why I felt so gutted and share them too, partly for athletes to learn how to manage disappointing races but also to show a side the coaches rarely display. Though the desire to write down these thoughts was triggered by one weekend, it is probably a true reflection of several weekends. Not every race weekend has a happy ending for all athletes, and it is these disappointments that become nagging desires to improve as coaches, and this is what I would like to explore.

“It’s sport”.

I think this summarises many of the outcomes we come across in racing endurance events. Sport, by its very nature, has to have a winner and a loser. Winning, in many instances, is when a race goes to plan or better and losing is simply when it doesn't. Winning feels amazing. Losing…losing sucks. Often there is a focus on the athlete. But how does it impact the coach who is at least one step removed from the race course?

For me, it really gets to your heart and the very core of you. I genuinely care about all my athletes. Of course, there is a commercial contract in place, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I feel the emotions as they do. I want them to succeed I may not have been there at every session or at every step, but I know the choices they have made, the things they have foregone and the effort that has gone into getting to the start line. We have shared that journey.

Of course, they are making the sacrifices or choices with their training schedules, and I am not. But I am very aware of the choices they make and the impact it is making. I’m partly fuelling their self-desire to improve themselves while balancing their goals with life. Age-groupers rarely have it handed to them on their plate. They generally are up against a race. They don’t have endless opportunities to race again, supposing money is not an issue (which, if you are doing triathlon after the bike and equipment, there isn’t likely to be much spare!) time is going to impact them. Their time is their most valuable asset, and they want to see a return on that investment. I want to see that return too. Not for me, but because we planned the season together, we planned the race together, and we wanted to see them put it all together.

When things don’t work out, my thoughts go straight back to my influence. What could I have done differently to get a different result, a better result, the result the athlete deserves with all the work they have done? What did I miss? What did I overlook? To be very honest, though, many of these thoughts or processes are the same regardless of the race outcome: what can we do to improve? However, for a disappointing race, one that falls far short of expectations and predictions or one where the result hurts, these questions feel a lot more personal.

This is an interesting balance of emotion and pragmatism that the coach must find. After all, an athlete will look quite quickly to their coach for answers, guidance and support. In their time of need and disappointment, empathy, understanding, and kindness help a lot more than diving straight in with the answers to the questions they are asking above. Equally, the athlete needs to ask and answer some of those questions for themselves. It is often better to let both parties have some time to work out the pragmatic solutions outside of the emotional response and come together with answers from different perspectives.

Facts, figures and analysis

Every disappointment has a cause. When it is a simple case of not being good enough, that is actually the best outcome. It gives us a chance to reset and re-challenge those processes while understanding why perhaps we thought we were good enough. This is a simpler reflection.

But what happens when something surprising caught us off guard? Perhaps it is a dodgy stomach or a "freak" bike mechanical. Even then, I can’t help but look right back at my influence – what did I not prepare the athlete for? Did the athlete know the course well enough? Should we have practice tyre changes? What about bike handling and nutrition strategy practice? Did I get the training right? Did I make a mistake?

"The credit belongs to the man in the arena" – Theodore Roosevelt.

That may suggest that it is all the coach's fault – that would undermine the collaborative approach to coaching that we use. It is a team effort. Nevertheless, even when things present themselves and could be more in an athlete's domain than a coach's, there is a coachable solution. For example, it is easy to blame the athlete if they made a poor decision or had a sudden onset of injury after a poor warm-up. Clearly, these aren't as much in the programming set by a coach. However, both errors are very coachable and, therefore, can be limited going forwards. The key question we have to ask ourselves is:

With the knowledge we have now, how would we have changed the training programme and focus?

Concluding and planning for success

Often the answer doesn’t have a single cause and is multi-factorial. Nevertheless, it is still gutting, crushing and hurts. Yes, we’ll go back to the drawing board; we will allow time for the emotions: we can be devastated, angry and sad, but then we must all find a way to reset, refocus and redo. Unfortunately, as an age grouper, there are not many rolls of the dice, especially as you race longer and longer distances. You have fewer opportunities to test out strategies and race plans. So disappointment will be par for the course. It is how we respond to these disappointments that define how successful the next attempt will be. However, unlike a roll of the dice, we can have a lot more influence on the outcome of the next go.

There is a lovely expression that is:

“When you are winning, you are celebrating; when you are losing, you are learning.”

With that in mind, for all race results, but especially whenever I have a disappointing race result from an athlete, it is time to learn. No race is perfect. Ever. There are always chances to learn, and each iteration of racing provides us with another opportunity to understand the cause of performances and how the athlete responds to training and racing stimuli. Often, it is the learning points from the tough times that enable the really successful times later on.

This article was first published on the Tri Training Harder Blog –?click here to read the original or see?more articles?like this one.