How to Clearly Communicate What You Want

Where in Your Life Are You Not Getting What You Want?

Take a moment to reflect on your life—relationships, career, personal goals, or day-to-day interactions. Where do you feel like you're not getting what you truly desire? Maybe it's in conversations with your partner where you feel misunderstood. Or perhaps at work, where your efforts don't seem to align with the recognition or opportunities you’re hoping for. Once you've identified these areas, it's time to dig a little deeper.

Ask yourself: Am I truly saying what I want, or am I speaking in the negative and hoping the other person can decipher what I mean?

Are You Really Saying What You Mean?

It’s surprisingly easy to fall into the habit of expressing what you don’t want instead of articulating what you do. For instance, have you ever caught yourself saying things like:

●???? “I don’t want to work late again.”

●???? “I can’t handle more stress right now.”

●???? “I don’t want to be overlooked for this project.”

While these statements communicate dissatisfaction, they don’t clarify what would make you satisfied. You’re leaving the listener guessing, which can lead to misunderstandings. As the saying goes: “Say what you mean so others can understand and know what to do.”

Why Saying What You Want Matters

Think of this process like ordering at a restaurant. When you tell the waiter, “I don’t want something spicy,” they still don’t know what to bring you. But when you say, “I’d like a caesar salad,” you’re giving them clear direction. Life works in a similar way. When you articulate exactly what you want, you make it easier for others—and even yourself—to align with those desires.

Action Forward: Be Mindful of Negations

A key practice to start today is noticing how you phrase your requests. Are you using negations like can’t, don’t, not, or less? If so, it’s time to flip your language and speak in positive terms.

Examples of Shifting Your Requests:

●???? Instead of saying, “I don’t want to work late,” try, “I want to leave work by 6 PM to have more time with my family.”

●???? Swap, “I can’t handle more stress,” with, “I need more support to manage my workload effectively.”

●???? Change, “I don’t want to be overlooked,” to, “I’d like to be considered for leadership roles.”

The Power of Clarity

When you express what you want clearly, people can respond with greater understanding. You empower yourself to set boundaries, make confident decisions, and foster better communication with those around you.

Why it Works:

●???? Higher Clarity: People know exactly how to meet your needs.

●???? Empowers Solutions: When you specify what you want, you open the door to solutions and actions that align with your goals.

●???? Boosts Confidence: Speaking in positives helps reinforce what you want, making you feel more in control and purposeful.

Tip: Frame Your Requests Clearly

Remember, your words shape the way others interpret your needs. Here’s a tip to keep in mind: saying what you want is like placing an order at a restaurant—you wouldn’t tell the waiter everything you don’t want on the menu. You specify exactly what you want so they know how to serve you.

Final Thought: Say What You Mean

Your language can be a powerful tool for manifesting what you desire, but only if you use it intentionally. Next time you make a request, pause and ask yourself: Am I saying what I truly mean? Challenge yourself to replace negations with positive statements, and watch how this simple shift can change the responses you receive and, ultimately, the outcomes in your life.

Schedule your coaching consultation today for support, accountability, and feedback as you begin the journey of clearly articulating your personal and professional desires.