How to choose a Coach, Couch or Crutch for 2018

The December frost is everywhere here in the UK, the nights are dark, the mornings are bleak. As we addle our way towards the end of the year preparing our bellies for flocks of turkey, fields of roast potatoes and gallons of gravy, it is time to be thinking of 2018. Forgotten are the resolutions of good behaviour summoned up in the final drunken moments 2016. There have been promises broken to family and friends and most importantly to ourselves. We hoped this would be a year of turnarounds, diets, savings and exercise. For the leaders amongst us, there was a determination to manage time better, lead with vision and delegate like a master. As the year drifted on we became worn down by the late nights, early mornings, red eye flights, relentless presentations and budget balancing. And that is before we achieve the long promised work-life balance we have all be chasing, parent, wife/partner/husband, school open evenings, sports day and of course the community. And last on the list is time for me, to grow, to explore and to become the person I dreamed about in that sixth form maths lesson many years ago.

So let's be clear, once and for all, 2018 is going to be different and it is going to be a year of triumph and success. We know this to be true because this year we are going to purchase the services of somebody who will “almost” guarantee this success for us. 

Our options are to employ the services of a coach, or maybe a couch or worse still a crutch. What are the differences between each of these facilitators of our future?

The Coach. 

Now these Coaches can come in a number of different brands. There is the Lifestyle Coach, the Business Coach, Performance Coach, Career Coach and Skills Coach. These Coaches will meet you, listen to your current position. Understand the simple and complex layers which exist in your life. They will draw out the “new you” vision and discuss it in detail to ensure we get to know fully what the new you looks like, thinks like and acts like. The Coach will then devise with you, tactics and strategies to build a bridge from where you are to where you want to be in the future. There are no magic wands, no frogs to be kissed or silver bullets. Rather it is a partnership based on new paradigms, reframing past problems, searching for what good looks like, testing and piloting new options to tough situations and recognising you are the power and only you can change your life starting today. A Coach agrees a set of goals in the form of a contract, to which you can expect to be held accountable. A Coach will challenge you, probe you and test you. The Coach will stick with you as long as you deliver your side of the contract 100%; effort, drive, energy and persistence. They won’t worry if you slip backwards, as long as you dust yourself down and pick yourself back up quickly to move forward again. A Coach will be demanding, they have high expectations of you. They can inspire you, but only you can do the graft, the hard yards and take the pain. To be fair this is not all a bed of roses. during the Coaching programme you can feel out of your comfort zone, stretched and challenged until the parts of your new jigsaw start to fall into place.

(Update Appendix) Coach (Version 2.0)

Following an earlier publication of this article which caused significant reader feedback, the author (Roy Newey) would like to acknowledge the existence of another type of Coach, often confused with a Bus. This coach has places for several clients who can be transported to a new place at the same time. The Coach operates a “one size fits all policy” regardless of where the client gets on or off. This methodology (also known as sheep dipping, webinars, self-help books and DVDs), can be valuable and the cost would be significantly less than an individual tailored service (the chauffeur). This type of coach asks little of the client (other than a ticket price) and has been known to leave clients more “lost” than before they got on the Coach. However, for some clients, this passive style of interaction can be a very useful starting point into the world of accessing a Coach.

The Couch

Now these Couches they come in different brands as well. There is the Old Couch, the New Couch, the Recliner Couch, the Sun Couch and the Convertible Couch that turns into a bed for visitors. Couches are very comfortable. you can sit on them, lie on them, even walk all over them. They ask no questions, they have no intention of stretching you, nor holding you accountable. They will spend hours going round in circles, days watching movies of other people lives and debate the rights and wrongs of today's edition of a soap opera. A Couch is your friend, they accept your interpretation of your tough day. They agree that all your peers and workmates are to blame and your boss is a fool. Meeting your Couch is a comfortable self-reassuring time well spent. You don’t need to keep notes or have any sense of achieving a goal, we can just rearrange the cushions and settle down to a nice chat. Warm sweet tea will always be served and a knowing nod of reassurance issued from the Couch whenever needed.

The Crutch

The Crutch comes in different brands too. There is the Always On Your Side Crutch, the Support Crutch, the I’ve Got Your Back Crutch and my favourite the Don’t Worry Everything is Going To Be OK Crutch. You can always rely on your Crutch to be there for you, your Crutch loves you just the way you are. Your Crutch understands the pressures you are under and why you need to leave that life changing strategy until next month, next quarter or even 2019. They share your view that life is not fair, that tall guys and pretty girls get all the best jobs. They see prejudice everywhere and they find it easier to apportion blame to your parents, boss, wife, brother, husband, kids, landlord, bank manager, government and customers than hold you accountable. You and your Crutch will always be on the same page, “It's not really your fault”. A Crutch will never leave your side, as long as you pay the bill, and never upset you or the apple cart. They won’t ask you to walk on a bed of hot coals or drink a glass of raw eggs to gain the courage to challenge the status quo. Your lack of achievement will be explained as not your fault. A crutch sees glass ceilings everywhere and suggests polishing these obstacles rather than finding ways to smash them.

Now some of us will set out to buy a coach hoping really deep down inside that we are looking for a crutch. Some of us will buy a Coach only to find out they are lazy, inept and burnt out. In fact, we wake up on session 3 to find ourselves actually sitting on the Couch. I know certified Coaches who are wonderful, I know uncertified Coaches who are naturals. I have met Coaches who are tall, thin, small, female and male, it is a tough, tough choice to make. Pick a good one and you are going to have a great, great 2018. Pick a Couch or a Crutch and 2018 could go down as another dud year, but at least you will be able to blame someone else.

Disclaimer  

I have to declare an interest, it is only fair to tell you I earn part of my living as a Coach. For me choosing the right customer is really important. If I choose the wrong customer it always ends in tears (their’s and mine). Once I have established the goal my client wants to achieve I spend significant time satisfying myself that they are willing to pay the price for the goal. I am not referring to my fees, but I mean they take a moment, a cold shower, a cooling off period to think through the consequences of making the change they have set their eyes upon. I challenge my clients to be “very careful what you wish for”, This is because almost any goal can be achieved for clients but it will come at a price. Are you prepared to pay the price for a wonderful 2017?

Good Luck, happy hunting and shout if you want some referrals or names to consider.

Roy Newey ?2017