How to Change Your Life in Five Minutes Per Day
Brady Ross, MA, PCC
Leadership Coach, Speaker, and Trainer | President and Founder of Clear Path Leadership
You can't control everything, and that's OK. Sometimes, it's even a good thing.
As human beings, we crave control. We perceive a lack of control as a threat, and most of our anxiety and frustration come as a direct result of feeling out of control.
This doesn't mean that control is a bad thing. Claiming that you don't have control when you do can be just as dangerous as trying to overexert control. Wisdom often requires us to find the right balance between two extremes, and this is certainly the case when it comes to pursuing and exercising control.
More importantly, great things can (and do) happen every day, both because of what we control and because of what we have no control over. Understanding and embracing this truth has made a significant difference in my life. I want to be aware of how my effort, discipline, and actions drive positive results. I also want to be in tune with how often good things happen simply because I'm fortunate or blessed.
To better understand these concepts, I use the language of "wins" and "gratitudes." Forgive me for using the word "gratitude" in a context that's not grammatically appropriate, but it's been reinforced so many times that it's habitual for me.
The distinction is simple: when something I did leads to a positive result, it's a win. When something good happens to me and it has nothing to do with anything I did or chose, it's a point of gratitude.
When something you did leads to a positive result, it's a win.
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When something good happens to you, it's worth expressing gratitude.
I'd be lying if I told you I did this every day, but I try to do it more often than not. Here's a real example of a recent journal entry.
Each time I do this, I'm reinforcing two key principles:
As somebody who has lived life in both extremes (thinking I can control nothing and thinking I can control everything), finding peace and joy in the messy middle between agency and circumstance is a challenge. However, this simple daily practice brings a great perspective, and I think it could help you as well.
If you don't believe this can make such a positive difference, give it a try. Take five minutes at the beginning of each day to write out a few examples under each category. I try to push myself to name five wins and five points of gratitude each day, but those numbers are totally arbitrary. Three each counts. One each would even count, but I bet you can name more.
Anyone who can do this regularly will build greater contentment and appreciation for life - especially when it comes to the things you can't control. Rather than allowing a lack of control to cause concern and frustration, you can embrace this unavoidable reality as something that often works in your favor.