How to Change Perception

Changing behaviors isn’t enough—if no one notices, perception remains frozen in the past. Like an old plasma TV screen that temporarily retains a previous image even after the picture changes, people’s perceptions can linger on outdated versions of who we are.

Why it matters

People invest time and effort in self-improvement, yet their progress often goes unrecognized. It’s frustrating—and sometimes disheartening—when others continue to see an outdated version of us despite real change. This isn’t just a leadership challenge; it affects personal relationships too.

I learned this lesson firsthand. Ten years ago, without asking her first, I replaced my daughter's worn-out purple yoga mat, which hadn’t survived the journey from Singapore to the USA. She recalls the incident as though it happened yesterday, using it as a gentle reminder of my tendency to take control. No matter how much time has passed, that moment and version of me remain vividly etched in her memory.

This same dynamic plays out in leadership. A leader can develop stronger listening skills, become more empathetic, or improve decision-making, but if stakeholders don’t notice the shift, they will still see the “old” leader. Like a ghost image on a plasma screen, their perception refuses to update.

The reality is that perception doesn’t change just because behavior does. Perception shifts when stakeholders experience, acknowledge and validate the change. And that doesn’t happen automatically.

Why Stakeholders Keep Seeing the Past

People rely on past experiences to form perceptions, and once an impression is established, it becomes a cognitive shortcut—a quick, effortless way to interpret someone's behavior. It’s far easier for the mind to assume a person remains unchanged than to continually reevaluate them.

In both professional and personal relationships, this means:

?? Past actions overshadow present reality. Even if a leader stops micromanaging, a team might still feel controlled. Even if a friend becomes more reliable, they may still be seen as flaky.

?? First impressions are sticky. Research shows that people tend to filter new information through their existing beliefs, often discarding evidence that contradicts them.

?? Stories reinforce perceptions. Once a narrative takes hold—"he’s indecisive," "she’s too aggressive"—it becomes self-sustaining, repeated in conversations long after it stops being true.

How to Ensure Stakeholders See the Change

Leaders must actively shape stakeholder perception by focusing on how their behavior is experienced and validated by others. The most effective approach involves:

? Prioritizing stakeholder feedback – Those impacted by leadership behaviors provide the most valuable insights.

? Focusing on future actions – Instead of revisiting past mistakes, leaders improve by focusing on what they can do better moving forward.

? Changing behavior and perception simultaneously – Leaders must shift both how they act and how they are seen at the same time.

Presence Reshapes Perception

People don’t form perceptions in isolation; they rely on past experiences and?social validation. If leaders don’t actively provide?new data?through presence and behavioral change, stakeholders will default to outdated impressions.

To shift perception effectively, leaders must:

? Demonstrate consistent behavior change – People need repeated experiences to update their assumptions.

? Engage stakeholders in the process – Those who work closely with the leader must see, validate, and reinforce the change.

? Measure progress – A leader’s perception doesn’t change unless stakeholders recognize the shift.

The Role of Stakeholders in Perception Shift

Stakeholders—peers, direct reports, and managers—are not passive observers in leadership development. They play an active role in shaping perception and holding leaders accountable.

Stakeholders do three critical things:

1?? Provide real-time feedback – Leaders need continuous insights on how their behaviors are perceived.

2?? Reinforce positive changes – Stakeholders validate and encourage new behaviors, solidifying perception shifts.

3?? Hold leaders accountable – Knowing their actions are being observed keeps leaders committed to growth.

A Structured Process for Changing Perception

Effective leaders follow a structured approach to ensure they make tangible improvements in how they are perceived:

?? Step 1: Identify the Leadership Goal & Stakeholders Leaders set a goal aligned with stakeholder needs—ensuring the change is meaningful and measurable.

?? Step 2: Engage Stakeholders & Focus on Future Actions Instead of focusing on past mistakes, leaders ask stakeholders: “What can I do better going forward?” This shifts attention to improvement rather than criticism.

?? Step 3: Create an Action Plan Based on Stakeholder Input Stakeholders co-create the development plan, ensuring buy-in and relevance. Leaders commit to implementing these changes in daily interactions.

?? Step 4: Monthly Follow-Ups with Stakeholders Every month, leaders check in with stakeholders, discuss progress, and ask for additional suggestions. This keeps perception aligned with behavioral change.

?? Step 5: Measure Progress Through Stakeholder Perception Every few months, stakeholders rate the leader’s improvement using a structured process. This ensures objective, measurable progress and validates perception shifts.

Measuring Perception Change

Why this works: If stakeholders don’t perceive change, leadership hasn’t improved—no matter how much effort was put in.

A structured stakeholder perception assessment quantifies leadership improvement, ensuring that changes in behavior translate into real-world impact. Leaders who consistently check in with stakeholders and measure perception shifts see sustained improvements in leadership effectiveness.

The Bottom Line

Leadership isn’t about self-perception—it’s about how stakeholders experience you. To change perception, stop managing your image and start engaging those who matter most.

Because in leadership and relationships alike, real change doesn’t happen until others see it too.

To speed up your perception change, subscribe to this Potential Development newsletter and read my book?CEO Potential: Transcend Self, Team, and Organization for Lasting Success in the New Age of AI.