How celebrating yourself accelerates your career and leadership journey.

Last Saturday 9 March 2024, I hosted a virtual sip & chat event to celebrate International Women's Day. This was done under the banner of Basadi Leadership Program for Black Women , a program that I created to address the unique challenges and obstacles faced by black women in the workplace, many of which I encountered as well.

The idea for the event came after a session with my coach a week prior, wherein I discovered that I do not celebrate myself enough. To say that I had a breakthrough moment is an understatement. I cried! Something I hardly do, proving the effective and shifting questions by my coach. Once and for all, the epiphany landed I have not given myself enough credit for my many achievements and accomplishments, which resulted in me minimising them and me. Like a massive sunray lighting up my entire body, I was awash with the realisation that I was looking to be appreciated and celebrated by others when I was not doing the same for myself. Even though I had to acknowledge how I've been getting in my own way, I was grateful for that revelation. I felt like I had finally found the missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle I had been struggling to find for a long time. I could now look back and see where in my life and leadership journey I had misstepped because I was not affirming myself and where I could have done things differently.

Such is the power of coaching! The thing I had felt so powerless about was now firmly back in my hands and I have the power to do something about it. I need to celebrate myself MORE!

To celebrate #internationalwomensday which was just days away, I decided to host the online session to share the importance of self-celebration and empower other women who could be struggling with the same challenge. In truth, I have already had quite a few of my women clients in my coaching practice presenting with similar challenges: lack of self-appreciation, self-doubt, perfectionism, low self-esteem, not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy or deserving, low self-confidence, fear, being self-critical, people-pleasing, with most of them falling under the banner of Imposter Syndrome.

We all encounter these at some point, and I have discovered that appreciating yourself and celebrating your accomplishments and achievements has huge benefits in both personal and professional life.

The importance of celebrating yourself

Celebrating yourself, your gifts, talents, achievements, and accomplishments is a form of self-leadership.

I've realised that you can't lead others when you can't lead yourself! As a leader, it's important to celebrate your achievements and milestones, not only so you can recognise and acknowledge the celebratory moments in your team, but also to boost your team's self-esteem and confidence. In addition, you'll be inspiring them to keep up the good work they've been doing while giving them a sense of belonging.

Just like children, we all need praise but first, we must learn to praise ourselves. Not in a self-centered and narcissistic way, but in a way where we appreciate ourselves for who we are and what we can do.

Women are generally not socialised to celebrate themselves. As traditional nurturers and helpers, we are encouraged to care for and celebrate others, invariably putting ourselves last. But if you think about it, neglecting to celebrate your personal and professional wins, and not appreciating yourself is a form of self-sabotage. You get stuck in a cycle of quickly moving on from your big moments without acknowledging them, which puts you on a treadmill of constantly being in pursuit of the next big thing.

Many women also postpone celebrating immediately saying "I'll celebrate when...", a day which may never come. When your achievements and accomplishments go unacknowledged, over time, your self-image, self-esteem, and self-confidence get eroded. Eventually, you start to believe in a false narrative of underachievement; one that you are responsible for creating.

How to celebrate yourself

Write it down: have a journal or notebook where you note your achievements. accomplishments and milestones. Unpack how they make you feel and what they mean to you. Also make a list of your unique qualities, talents, skills, and gifts that you bring to the table. Those things that make you, YOU!

Speak about it: not everyone is going to celebrate you but make a habit of sharing your good news with your trusted friends, family, and colleagues. Create a Celebration Circle.

Affirm yourself: through positive self-talk. In the session on Saturday, we talked about mirror work, a concept made popular by the late Louis Hay. This entails making positive statements to yourself in front of the mirror such as..."I'm proud of myself for..." or "I did well today because...". If you're not accustomed to saying positive words to yourself like I once was, this exercise might sting a little. It might also bring up a few dormant internal issues, but practicing your mirror work every day will make you comfortable with affirming yourself. You will also appreciate hearing these same affirmations from others in the form of compliments, without minimising them or putting yourself down. Mirror work is also a great exercise if you're prone to negative self-talk or have a very strong inner critic that tends to hold you back from leaning into growth opportunities.

So take time to enjoy your wins, soak them in, and bask in your glory. Not only does this have great benefits for your personal esteem and confidence but there are immense professional benefits too.

The personal and professional benefits of celebrating yourself

Increases self-affirmation and validation: when you affirm and validate yourself, you rely less on external validation and affirmation. You also care less about proving yourself to others.

Increases self-acceptance: celebrating your unique traits, quirks, and eccentricities leads to self-acceptance, which is a key issue for black women working in spaces where the acceptable "corporate characteristics" are not in their image.

Increases self-esteem: taking stock of your accomplishments increases your self-regard which in turn, increases other people's regard of you.

Increases your self-image: how you see others is how others see you. Your achievements boost how you see yourself.

Increases self-confidence: confidence is a function of skill and competence. The more these increase, the more confidence grows. Celebrate what you've done to boost your self-confidence.

Reduces imposter syndrome: there's less time to doubt your abilities when you know what they are and celebrate them. No one is going to discover you as an "imposter" when they already know what you can do and how talented you are.

Increases gratitude: when you celebrate yourself, you automatically place yourself in the attitude of gratitude. Being thankful opens up more opportunities for you to receive and celebrate.

Increases presence and mindfulness by helping you be "in the moments" instead of glossing over them and moving on to your next so quickly.

Helps you self-promote and sell yourself: this is something most men do exceeding well and many women don't. Talking about and celebrating your achievements lets others know what you've done and are capable of doing.

Helps you network better: talking about yourself and what you've done is key to letting others know more about you and how you can collaborate.

Increases chances of secondment and promotion: you'll only get bigger and better roles when people know what you've accomplished. TELL THEM!

Improves performance conversations: you'll have a ready list of achievements and accomplishments to talk about at your next appraisal. This puts you in a position of power, improving your career and development conversations, as well as your salary negotiations.