How cartwheels on the grass have led me to reprogram my childhood trauma response. In other words — Doing-The-Work-Pays-Off!

One of my recent rather grant break-thoughts was a byproduct of content creation in March around Inner Child and spreading awareness on how important nurturing this connection is in our adult life.

I held myself accountable for showing up for me and my audience for 15 days in this child-like energy, and additionally, I was checking how it might affect me and my life. The outcome was unexpected but somewhat outstanding.

It all started easily and playfully — from a short video of a ‘silent disco’ during our layover at Paris Orly Airport on our way to a new destination in North Africa — Tunisia, to visit my friend. My travel companion decided to join me to kick-start the IG challenge.

Daily I came up with another idea for a lighthearted and fun yet inspirational activity. I wanted to embody my child-like energy and show my audience that we can be goofy and playful regardless of age, profession, or whereabouts. Being in a foreign land, however, with plenty to discover and learn, made it a perfect spot to do that.

Days flew by, with lots of creative and carefree moments. And content!

And then, one day, something happened that I didn’t expect. I got triggered so strongly, it allowed me to look at my inner child from a completely new perspective.

My friend and I went for a ride on the island to buy some bread. Everything was fairly remote, and quite frankly to me, looked exactly the same — palm trees, detached houses, dirt roads and sand.?Beaucoup?de sand.

While driving down the road governed by its own rules, we were having a conversation, which suddenly got a bit heated as my friend raised her voice at me. Out of the blue, my body went into a trauma response as I was a passenger unable to do anything and I felt my life is in danger. The heat started arising in my chest. My legs were shaking. My whole body was shivering. When my mate pulled over, I immediately unbuckled and got out of the vehicle.

It took me around 15 minutes to calm my nervous system down outside of the busy road.

I was walking around while tapping (read more about?EFT ) and saying to myself: ‘You are safe. Regardless of what happened, you are safe and loved. Your value is independent of other people’s reactions.’

Have you ever had such a situation, that when you get triggered, you just wanted to run away and not look back? Yes, as an adult, not as a child. Did you experience any of my symptoms when your body immediately goes into a fight-flight-freeze mode?

What did you do then? Did you run away or chose a different response to change the pattern of behaviour and thoughts?

To me, that was a moment to realise that was a true challenge to tap into my inner child’s energy and?reparent?myself. I couldn’t count on anyone to rescue, pet or hug me and say ‘It’s okay, you’re safe with me.’

I was alone. In a foreign country. I was the only person who could do that.

So I did.

The best way I knew and as I would have expected from a loving carer in the past in a similar situation. But instead, when I was little, I was witnessing my parents arguing and raising their voices at each other. And me feeling helpless wasn’t the only thing, I felt guilty. I took this burden on myself. I didn't know it had nothing to do with me and that adults, simply speaking, argue!

Yet to me, it meant my family was at risk of splitting and I couldn’t do anything about it. I identified with the risk of that, as the worst thoughts were going through my mind at that moment. And the trigger from a car brought those memories back into my body.

So what’s in it for you, dear reader?

Reparenting our inner child and learning the ability to differentiate between a trigger from the past and a new situation can have an immense impact on our lives and relationships.

Hadn’t I learned about my little one, her needs and how to nurture them, I’d have packed my bags and left the same day feeling anxious, hurt and betrayed. And obviously, bury our friendship.

Yet I managed to process what happened and connect to the potential situation from the past where I got anchored with that same somatic response.

Understanding that allowed me to bring back the conversation with vulnerability and ownership of my behaviour and clear the air between my friend and me.

However, that was a result of a long and deep inner work — on my shadows, my self-saboteurs, and my limiting beliefs. Was it worth it, hell yeah!

Your only job in life is to reparent yourself, nurture your needs and bring back the joy, creativity and fearlessness in self-expression you had as a child. There you will find an everlasting source of motivation and strength in your daily life.

Sometimes it means touching the old wounds and pouring some saline solution on them for a deeper cleanse. And it’s always safer to do that with someone who can hold space and accompany you in the moment of rescue. That’s what other people are for. And we need them to help us see our triggers, touch the wounds and let them heal. At times repeatedly if the injuries are deep.

As Tony Robbins says — “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” I hope this inspires you to do inner child work on your own and step into your power to live a life on your terms! And if you need someone on your team, let’s talk. You’re in the right place.

If you’re curious to see my challenges’ activities, head over to my?Instagram ?and see the?Inner Child?in highlights. Enjoy! :)