How a car unhinged my sense of identity

Having a strong sense of identity can be a powerful asset in day-to-day life, guiding you in decisions about your commitments, career and relationships. But who we are is not a define – it - once-and-you're-done kind of thing, we're a lot more complicated than that! Asking Who am I? is about continuing to discover and clarify our true identity. This is about the essence of you the qualities and values that make you extraordinary.

Of course, you are more than the clothes you wear, or the car you drive. But in practice, these are often the most visible signs of who we are. By exploring how we present ourselves to the world, and how we feel about that presentation, we can uncover important clues to help us answer the question:

Who am I?

The beginning of the end. As I stood in the driveway, looking over what was to be my new car, I found it difficult to muster much enthusiasm.

Yes, the silver people mover had all the bells and whistles, electronic doors, great stereo, leather interior. More to the point, it had the room I needed to get around comfortably with my young daughter and new baby son, and my friends and their kids, and all the associated paraphernalia.

I'd seen other mothers gaze longingly this car and say, “I dream about having one of those." Well, I didn't. I'd loved my cute, red VW Beetle, but now that was gone.

So, what do you think?"

My friend, who was selling the Chrysler, looked confused at my lack of interest. Having seen a teenage son into university, another off overseas, and the youngest into his final years of high school she was putting her people mover days behind her.

“This feels like the final nail in my coffin of becoming a suburban housewife," I replied. “Don't fight it!" she advised as she jumped into her brand new sporty Fiat.

Looking for the connection to something deeper

Was I fighting change? I'd been married and divorced, moved interstate, switched careers, returned to study, started my own business & I was not afraid of change. Nor was I rebelling against the responsibilities of mothering. No, this was something else. Zipping around in my bright VW Beetle, I felt like me. I felt a strong and clear connection between who I believed I was and how I was seen in the world.

My personal brand was: bright, memorable, with a buzzing energy, someone a little different with a special twist.

Friends and family always saw me coming down the road and said, “that car is you!" Strangers struck up conversations with me at petrol stations and shopping centre car parks, telling me stories about their original VW Bugs.

When I had to say goodbye to the car, I cried. It felt like I was losing a piece of my identity. This was a clear sign that it was time to rediscover my essential qualities and values.

Over to you

As much as our true identity is more than skin deep, how we present ourselves to the world can hold a lot of meaning for us. Does how you present yourself, with your car, or sense of fashion, or profession, or home, speak to your essential qualities and values?