How Can You Tell If You’re Truly Present, Mindful and Awake?

“There is nothing more important in life than awareness. In its light, we see the superficial as superficial and the essential as essential.”

— Anthony de Mello

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Being awake and aware IS the thing in this game of a better life.

From these two states — wakefulness and awareness — comes a life built on the pillars of peace, courage, and wisdom. When you’re awake and aware, you align with your true self and your values that naturally flow from that truth. Life itself is richer, more beautiful, more Right.

Therefore, these are the questions (questions I was recently asked) that you need to know the answers to:

“How do I know when I’m truly present?”

“And when I realise I’m not, how do I bring myself back?”

“Most importantly, how can I make being present, aware and awake a lasting part of my life?”

Now, I know your days are full, you’re stretched and you’re juggling, you’re looking to maintain some semblance of balance amidst it all. I know you often feel like you're being pulled in a thousand different directions, all while trying to stay grounded and true to what matters most to you — your values, your well-being, your authenticity.

Yet one thing that will help enormously to know that being present isn’t so much about changing the demands of your life.

It is about changing how you react to them. It’s changing how much you hold in your head and your emotions. It’s enjoying life now, as it is, not when it gets to where you think it should be.

If you like, it’s slowing down and dealing with one thing at a time, without getting lost in anything.

It’s realising how we all have stories that we tell about ourselves and the life we’re living, that these stories are often not so helpful, and being able to embrace new constructive and useful narratives about who we are and the world we live in.

It’s choosing to place your attention in what’s truly important to you, not what’s merely urgent and ultimately superficial.

It’s about truly anchoring yourself in the one place life is, right here and right now.

These moments of presence mean we not only find the clarity, peace, awareness and connection that are so deeply valuable – and in many ways we crave – but are so deeply useful in living a life we’re proud of, and excited by.

So … a huge intro, but one I obviously wanted to write. Being present and aware really helps everything, but I don’t think people know how much.

With that, back to our critical questions around being more present:

“How do you know when you’re truly present?”

“And when you realise you’re not, how do you bring yourself back?”

“Most importantly, how can you make being present, aware and awake a lasting part of your life?”

Let’s explore these questions together – and I’m sure I’ll miss some points so do get in touch if you have something to add.

And as we go through this, try not to intellectualise but experience it. Feel it; notice it; be what we’re talking about.

Explore and stay innocent. Your way is your way. If it feels calm and centred, then grand. The menu is never the meal. The words are not the experience of being present. They’re useful signposts yes, but not a replacement for YOUR lived, authentic experience, okay?

1. “How Do I Know When I’m Present?”

The truth is, as I’ve said before, presence isn’t some mystical state reserved for monks. It’s available to you, right here, right now. But recognising it—ah, that’s where the practice begins.

You know you’re present when there’s a quietness inside, a stillness that sits beneath the surface, even if life around you is chaotic. It’s that moment when your mind isn’t racing ahead to the next task or replaying the past. Instead, you’re here, fully engaged with whatever is in front of you. Perhaps it’s a conversation with a colleague, the sound of your children playing, or the simple act of sipping your morning coffee. You feel calm, clear, and connected to the moment.

Physically, your body tells you when you’re present. Your muscles are relaxed, your breathing is steady, and there’s an awareness of your senses—how the chair feels beneath you, the taste of your coffee, the warmth of the sun on your face. When you’re not present, your muscles are likely to be tense, your belly too. Your breathing will be short and ragged, you might be holding your breath. And it’s likely you won’t even realise, you’ll be completely absent from your body, in that you don’t notice it at all.

Emotionally, presence often feels like contentment. Not the ecstatic kind, but a quiet, unshakeable peace. There’s no anxiety about what’s coming next, no stress about what’s undone. Just a gentle acceptance of what is. If there’s not contentment, there’s an experience of simple, clear, judgement free witnessing of what’s happening within and around you.

And when you’re truly present, you’ll notice an alignment with your values—authenticity, holistic well-being, and a sense of connection. You’ll just know what feels right and not right. Your wisdom and intuition speak clearer, you can trust them more. This is the space where your true self resides, and it’s where you live from your highest principles. They don’t really require thought, they just come through, and it becomes more obvious when you’re about to compromise something important to you.

Being present is a different state of being, on all levels of your being. Get curious, notice what that’s like for you. Tune in more often and you’ll have something familiar to return to.

2. “When I Realise I’m Not Present, How Can I Come Back?”

It’s inevitable—there will be moments when you find yourself lost in thought, pulled away from the present by worries, distractions, or just the sheer busyness of life. It’s a habit, that’s all. The good news? Returning to presence is always just a breath away. Right now you can practice a new habit.

The fact is this game isn’t so much about forgetting. I’ve said this a ton, but people don’t believe me – and yet it’s true! When you realise you’re away with the fairies (even those fairies of anger or anxiety), now you’re awake, now you can choose to detach and return, now you can choose to control what you do next.

What a beautiful moment. You now have the freedom to choose how you want to be. Even if it takes time and practice to simmer down back to calm, don’t underestimate the power of this small step of waking up and choosing to return.

2. Part Two: “So – How Do I Become Present and Mindful Again?”

If you know Ascension, then use the Attitudes. They will cut through anything that’s not useful or looping and put you in the heart of the present moment, fully aligned with your true self. I know I bang on about Ascension, but if you really want some tools for making being awake and aware super simple and super obvious, come and learn. You won’t regret it.

If you don’t know, start with mindful breathing. Next to Ascension, it’s one of the simplest, most accessible tool you have. Take a deep breath in, feeling the air fill your lungs, and then slowly exhale, letting go of tension and distraction. It seems the long smooth exhale is key here. Relax your belly as much as you can as you do. This simple act will, if you’re really involved in it, immediately bring you back to the here and now.

Another way to ground yourself is through sensory awareness. Engage your five senses—notice the texture of your clothes, the sounds in your environment, the smells around you. My favourite is really listening to all the sounds around you. These anchor you firmly in the present moment, pulling you out of the mental fog that often keeps you from being fully engaged. Take the journey from your brain back into your body.

If you find yourself lost in thought, gently acknowledge it. There’s no need for judgment or frustration. Just notice that your mind has wandered, and then, with kindness, guide it back to the present. This practice not only helps with being present but also counters the perfectionism that often keeps us stuck in cycles of guilt and self-criticism. Labelling is also helpful, distancing you from the thing: “Oh, I’m thinking”, “Oh, I’m getting angry”, “Oh, I’m nervous”. It’s not you, it’s an experience that you are noticing, and creating that distance is so valuable.

In this, don’t pile anger on top of anger, anxiety on top of anxiety. What I mean is, what makes anger, anxiety or anything “negative” much worse, is the fear/judgement/resistance to the thing. I was talking to a buddy last night and he was saying a very effective attitude for him became a kind of bored labelling, as in, “Oh, here I go again, sigh” type of thing. He’s right – super effective. Instead of resisting and fighting, it’s really not making a deal of it. And it’s truly not a deal unless you make it one.

You might also try brief mindfulness exercises throughout your day. A five-minute body scan, a quick meditation, or even a few moments of focused breathing can make a world of difference. These practices are particularly useful when your day is packed, as they require little time but offer significant benefits.

Try to ask yourself, “Where am I?”, or remind yourself to “Be here, now”. Here and now is simple, especially as I reminding you, but the more you return to here and now, the more easily you fall back into it.

Recognise the quality of the moment, the quality of your awareness right now. If you’re with me, and you’re tuned in, centred, aligned, quiet and attentive to the quality of now … how is that? What is that like? Begin to build a bank of remembering what it’s like when you’re awake so you can contrast to when you’re not. That quiet, content presence becomes something like a muscle memory that you remember, that you can return to, time and time again.

3. “What Will Make This Practice More Permanent?”

Creating lasting change requires consistency, not perfection. The key is to weave mindful awareness into the fabric of your daily life, making it as natural as brushing your teeth.

Start by establishing small rituals. Perhaps you begin your day with a few minutes of Ascension or meditation or breathing practice, setting the tone for how you want to engage with the world. Or you might end your day with a gratitude practice, reflecting on the moments where you were present and connected. Maybe it’s about taking a mindful slow breath when you remember in your day.

Remember, it’s not about doing it perfectly—it’s about doing it consistently. Every time you practice mindfulness, you’re strengthening the habit, making it easier to return to presence the next time. This is especially important when you struggle with perfectionism or fear of judgment. Let go of the idea that you have to do it right and simply focus on doing it.

Integrate mindfulness into everyday activities. Whether you’re making tea, walking to your car, or sitting in a meeting, there’s always an opportunity to be present. This approach allows mindfulness to become a natural part of your routine, without the need for extra time or effort. But it’ll be enjoyable too–life comes alive when you show up for it. You’ll be surprised what you notice, even about people and places you know well!

Seek support and community. Whether it’s learning Ascension and joining our community, or other supportive mindfulness groups, participating in online communities, or involving your family in your practice, connection can provide the encouragement and accountability that makes mindfulness stick.

Finally, The Most Important Element

If you really want a life of present, alive, rich, dynamic, fully aligned, peaceful and courageous living … you have to prioritise it. Make it your intention to be this as much as you can. You have to value your peaceful presence more than stress and struggle. Remember that saying, “If it costs your peace, then it’s too expensive”? Coming to that personal commitment may be a journey in itself!

This commitment will follow through. All the above ideas aren’t magic. You actually have to want to let go, or replace the cause of stress and struggle for the suggestion. You have to involve yourself as best you can. They don’t work if you don’t really have your heart in it … which is understandable, right?

But when you prioritise mindful, aware awakeness, the whole world will become your teacher. It’ll support you and show you how. You hold the intention, you do your best, and everything will come to you. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Get ready, and hold onto your hat, because this is the most worthwhile journey—truly. Life comes alive and that is a beautiful thing.

Get Stuck In! Enjoy The Journey To A New Way Of Life

With the right practice, being aware and mindful becomes simple and clear – so super obvious: you won’t need to go searching or wonder if you’re truly present or not.

Being present will become a crystal clear yes or a no. It’ll become as simple as being awake or asleep. It will be as obvious as daylight, as natural and effortless as breathing. Even more so. Which is a wonderful thing. Your practice will gather momentum quickly. Guidance is always so useful in this, as in any sphere of endeavour, but you can make huge leaps and bounds on your own.

But recognise – and this is the mistake I made – is that just because it’s become so natural, it does not mean that it is normal for my past self, nor is it for a great deal many people. You really are entering an extra-ordinary state, the foundation to an extraordinary life.

So. Practice yes, everything comes from practice. Enjoy the journey of becoming more and more awake. Mindfulness isn’t a destination, but a journey. There’s no finish line here; it’s a way of life. Each moment spent in presence is a step towards a richer, more fulfilling life. It’s okay if you stumble—what matters is that you keep coming back to the present, again and again.

You’re not alone in this journey. You’re not. I’d love to help, and to hear how mindfulness is showing up in your life. Please get in touch if you need more guidance or just want to share your experiences.

To being here, now, and fully alive,

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Ascension –

Yes! Come along to the course. This one technique will make everything in terms of being more present so simple and obvious.

A rich, deep, alive, connected life can be yours.

25-27 October (7pm start)

Let me know if you’d like details and I’ll get them to you. Talk soon!

If you’ve already learnt – remember, it’s always free to repeat, and so valuable.

If you can’t make it, how can I help? Make use of me, especially if you feel like you’ve fallen off the wagon of practice, or you’re making it more difficult than you think it should be.

A quick conversation with me will put you back on track in no time.

Get in touch, I’d love to help.