Nobody deserves to work with BAD Managers - Reflections from the Better.com episode.

Thanks to work-from-home days that a leader had to apologize for not being the kind of leader people deserve.

Better.com CEO Vishal Garg's video of the zoom call where he fired 900 people got viral to a point that he had to apologize and the board had to announce that Vishal would go on leave effective immediately.

This event has triggered a rage on social media among professionals. Had it happened during non Zoom days, probably this meeting could never have been recorded, and hence would never have become viral. Thanks to work-from-home days that a leader had to apologize for not being the kind of leader people deserve.

I am managing a small team in my current role. I have been often thinking about the kind of manager I am and how can I be better at my role every day. This Better.com episode has triggered a range of emotions in my heart. It reminds me of some unpleasant conversations that I had long back with my manager. It reminds me of stories that my friends have often shared with me about how they feel mentally harassed/humiliated by their manager's behavior.

We spend half of our awake time doing our job. A majority of our workplace experience is directly affected by the relationship we share with our direct reporting manager. If this is not a pleasant relationship, it affects us badly. I have written a couple of articles previously on this topic, sitting on the other side of the table (the reportee side) -

Dear Team Lead, Manager, Boss - You know what you are doing wrong?

Why should I have an awesome relationship with my Boss? And if so, How?

Now coming to this side of the table, I am beginning to wonder if I am the kind of manager I would want to work with? On a scale of 1 to 10, where would I rate myself? I don't think I am close to 10 yet, but I am glad that I have begun to think about it and I am sure I would get there soon.

So, who are bad managers?

1. One who doesn't respect their team. One who yells at the team.
2. One who often loses their calm, mind, patience, balance during meetings, on personal calls etc.
3. One who starts every conversation by pointing out flaws in the team.
4. One who blames the team saying they are incompetent.
5. One who makes someone feel that they are not worth that role or the salary they get.
6. One who constantly criticizes the team for the quality of the work or how they spoke or the email they sent or their working hours etc.
7. One who doesn't take ownership of mistakes or failures.
8. One who doesn't stand by the team when the client puts unrealistic timelines.
9. One who puts their team member down in front of the entire team or the client.
10. One who doesn't trust their team - micro manages, cross checks with others about the team's performance etc.

Sadly, this list is endlessly long. If you are someone for whom even a single checkbox is ticked out of the above, it is time to take immediate action to bring change in yourself so you can become the kind of manager you would want to work with.

So, how can you become a better manager (or better person)?

I feel that there is some goodness in everyone including bad managers. Bad managers don't want to behave the way they do. Most of them regret later about their inappropriate behaviour. (God, I really hope they do!) We cannot send all managers to go off work effective immediately. That's not an effective solution. We have got to help bad managers become better managers, and more importantly, better persons.

I am listing down some of the practices we all can learn in our journey to become a leader that people deserve -

1. Start by mentioning areas of appreciation, followed by that of improvement-

I have made this mistake. I have at times unconsciously pointed out mistakes first in the work that my team has submitted, followed by the things I have admired in that work. The order has to change. Start the conversation by listing down as many good things as you can about the teammember - maybe they submitted work on time. Appreciate that. Maybe the work needs a lot of improvement - setup a meeting to go together through the changes required and get a realistic timeline.

2. Using the language of absolute respect as if you are talking to your boss/investor -

No matter who you are talking to, one must use the same language of respect for everyone. If you as a manager has the problem of not using the appropriate language while speaking with your subordinates, imagine you are talking to your booss or investor. The kind of language you would use with them should be the same when you talk to anybody else across the company (or even outside your workplace for that matter!)

3. Stand by your team in front of the clients or upper management -

If your teammember is being bogged down by the client or someone from the top management, it's your duty to protect them and stand up with them. If you don't have the balls to do so, you should quit being their manager. For instance, if you believe that a client has asked your subordinate to get some work done within unrealistic timelines or on weekend, just because you don't have to do, you should not encourage this kind of work culture. Say no to your client immediately. It won't cost you anything. Most likely, the client will respect you for respecting your teammembers.

4. Let your reportee's development, growth, and appreciation be your primary duty -

At workplace, we often think about getting the work done as our primary and only duty. But what after the work is done? What does good work lead to for your team? What you want for yourself in terms of professional development, personal growth and appreciation after good work, should also hold true for your reportees. Try to get your clients to write an appreciation email for your team if you know they have done the hard work. Help your team set professional goals and show them the path to reach those goals. Have regular conversations with them about what they are liking and what they are not liking at work. Help them clear any confusion or wrong expectations.

I am going to pause here. I need to reflect more. But, I invite readers to add to this list -If you have ever worked with a bad manager, how would you like to help them become better?

However, having said a lot about bad managers, I should also talk a little bit about bad reportees. If you are not true to your job, don't expect your manager to be all lovy-dovy with you. You have got to give your best to the job that you think pays you well and helps you grow. If you think otherwise about your job, maybe you should not be doing it. Don't try to be oversmart at your workplace. If you will lie about missing to attend a meeting, and if you do it often, trust me, your manager would get to know.

If you think that your manager is not treating you well, you can consider following some steps -

1. Share about your manager's behaviour with your close friend or colleague. Try to find out if you are overthinking or you are really being treated badly.
2. Once an event like this has happened where you feel you are not treated well by your manager, raise this with them immediately one-on-one. Setup a meeting to share how you feel about their behaviour and how it is affecting your mental health. Help them understand that how would your like to be treated. And then, give them to change!
3. If you think even after sharing your feelings, there is no improvement at your manager's end, you should take this up with even higher management or HR.
4. If you see that throughout the company, the work culture is similar and nobody in your higher management seems to give a damn about your mental health, then I think, you know what you should do. Find a job that can pay you well and leave this place.

Good luck managing your team and working with a manager that you deserve!