How can you handle high-pressure negotiations?

The key to success in a negotiation is to put yourself in the shoes of the other party. Understand how they feel, what makes them tick, and what is important to them. I'm a firm believer that there is always a win-win solution out there, we just need to find it and understanding your counter part is what will allow you to get creative about solutions

Anamaria - Having pitched and raised millions for my startups, as well as coached many high achievers sometimes dealing with billions ... here's my biggest piece of advice. Change your vernacular. Both internally and externally. It should be referred to as a collaboration, not "high stakes" negotiation. You see, your brain is always listening ... always ... so words matter. And when we think of things as high stakes, high risk, all or nothing, our brain is designed to perceive it as "Danger Danger". What happens when we are in danger? We release cortisol (the fight, flight, or freeze chemical) and the blood rushes from our head into our extremities. It's why you may feel jittery, sweaty palms, heart racing ... because it is. Your body is being hijacked by Cortisol. Notice where the blood came from ... that's right, your brain ... where critical thinking, active listening, and course correction happens. It's why you may not hear the critical piece of commonality that could shift the entire engagement to an amenable end. By calling it a collaboration - immediately the nature of the meeting shifts from presentation into conversation and an exploration of resources to one end ... a win win for all. You got this!

Three things make a big difference: 1. Do your homework: You need to truly know what's important to the people on the other side of the table. Not your take on what should be important. But their take on what matters most to them. 2. Be open: The win win may be something you haven't thought about, be open to creative solutions. 3. Breathe: This one is crucial, get oxygen flowing to your brain and body. It will keep you in the moment, make you smarter (for real), and help you be more calmly confident.

In short, it is important to define winning before the negotiation starts. You must also understand what the win-win might look like. A win might come in different forms so it is important to understand all the ways that a win is possible. That may mean that you take the time to frame the win across different metrics and develop a “win matrix.” And you need to be open to evaluate other configurations that constitute a win that may not have considered. Develop guiding principles that that will govern how you will behave as you advance through the negotiations and that allow you to quickly determine what you can trade off for that you are expecting to obtain. Don’t lose sight of the win with petty squabbles over things that don’t matter to you. Agree on the least contentious points first and be willing to revisit points of agreement if it can help close the whole deal. That is where you win matrix will come in. Finally, stay fully engaged through out the negotiation and avoid emotional traps. Look for the win-win and never lose sight of it.

KISS principle applies to most of the situations. While there are different levels of negotiations building trust with the other party is often the key to quick agreement and signoff in my experience. Some may say it is against the intent of negotiations, but in reality its the end not the means that matters most.