How can you deal with a know-it-all?

Have you ever been faced with having to deal with a know-it-all?? Someone who dominates conversations with you, professing to know more about every subject you bring up in a conversation and overpowering you with their viewpoints? These people tend to be judgmental, harsh, and overbearing. ?The know it all can be explained as someone who thinks their experience, story or answer is always the right one and dismisses the input of others. Know-it-alls ?who pose as superior can make you feel annoyed, angry, inferior, or insecure. They speak to feed their ego more often than not. They are often wrong in what they are communicating, so what is the best way to deal with this person without talking over them or down to them or arguing with them? After all, in business it always makes sense to be tactical when faced with a know-it-all as ongoing relationships and business may well depend on it. Some know-it-all’s actually have great life experience and know a considerable amount about a lot of things but equally they can be wrong in a lot of their assumptions. Assumptions that could be in complete contrast and opposition to your viewpoints, objectives or requests. The question then is, how could you best handle such a challenge? ?

Let’s face it, we live in a world where access to information on any subject matter is just a digital click away on most devices.? This click instantly links anyone, at any time, to information and knowledge that can make them feel they are instantly masters of that subject. But this clicked-onto, information is not necessarily correct. Knowledge is different to wisdom. Knowledge gained through study builds a bank of information – facts and figures. Wisdom, on the other hand, has to do more with insight, understanding and life experience.? There is a big difference between the two.

So, let’s talk about practical ways we can defuse frustration with know-it-alls. Emotional intelligence offers a great solution here. The reason is the more defensive, excited, frustrated and offended you allow yourself to become, the more a know it all will tend to respond with gusto. They are programmed to respond to anyone who disagrees with them. It’s a challenge they will gladly accept so the advice is to take a deep breath and know that you don’t have to win. You don’t even have to have the last word. Silence is also an opinion!?

When negotiating with a know-it-all, the goal should be success not winning.? Here’s what I mean:

Here are some tips that might help when dealing with a know-it-all.

Be Assertive

Use tact and assertiveness. Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. Assertiveness means you stand up for your rights e.g. to have an opinion, to voice that very same opinion, to be respected, to disagree with points being made to you.? If a know-it-all tells you, how to do your job, speak up, say thank you and then add that if you need help you'll be sure to ask. This is an assertive approach in that your outlined clearly your position on the matter and your desired outcome if such an outcome is required. This may put an end to the know-it-alls behaviour.

Key Questions to use

Ask yourself this question. Do you even care what the person is talking/arguing about? If not, why bother responding?? Or after they’ve said what they want to say, keep your response primarily in the form of questions. Questions concerning specific things they’ve said to clarify the information you heard. Repeat what they say. If what they say sounds outlandish, foolish or far-fetched, they may back down when they hear it repeated back to them. Ask for the proof source of the information they are conveying. Reflect your understanding of what they say. Regularly summarise what they said to you. This acknowledges you were actively listening and when they hear back what they said, in your words, it can change their approach completely.

Take off

If you work with a know-it-all it might be hard to avoid them. You might have to? pretend not to hear them, smile politely and not respond to them or leave the area when you see them approaching. Change the topic of conversation to something they are not interested in or cut them short when they try to reply.

Set boundaries

It can be helpful to set strict boundaries with people who have none. These rules should be based around their actions and behaviours and not so much their words. Let them know that you hear them but need them to give you and others space to come to your own conclusions. There’s no guarantee they will listen but at least you put it out there.

?In conclusion, navigating interactions with a know-it-all requires diplomacy and assertiveness. Be setting boundaries, using the power of silence effectively, maintaining a respectful demeanour and focusing on common ground, you can effectively manage conversations with know-it-alls.

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