How can we respond when a parent murders a child.

The death of a child is a parent's worst nightmare, but when that death happens at the hands of a parent, we are left silent. Many will see this as a rare and freakishly tragic turn of events but in reality, it is the tip of the iceberg in terms of the harm children experience through domestic and family violence (DFV).

The number of women murdered by current or former partners in 2024 has put DFV front and centre of the political agenda, and rightly so, but it's something that's going to require a much greater contribution from government to adequately address. In terms of keeping children safe, our state governments have the power to remove children from their families and place them in foster care. As a foster care provider, Barnardos Australia considers the removal of a child as an action of last resort. Where we can, we should and must support families to stay together and raise their children safely. The cost of living and? housing crisis’ are impacting so many families and have a detrimental effect on children. So too, domestic violence also has the power to disrupt childhood and set children up for a challenging trajectory through life. ?

Today child protection workers are better prepared for these situations and will work with the non-offending parent to support them to safety with their children. As we know, escaping domestic violence is the most dangerous time for victims but when a parent is a perpetrator of violence, children are never truly safe.

The recent response from Federal and State Governments to the escalating DFV crisis has been a patchwork of bolstered funding for existing programs and changes in legal structures, such as bail laws. This is a start but what is really needed is a fundamental shift in how government and society view the safety of children. This must be a primary goal of our DFV approach and not just a secondary effect of supporting the non-offending parent. If the state is willing to remove a child from their family for their own safety, then we can't continue to allow children to be harmed by their perpetrator parent.?

Thankfully, new laws come into effect in Australia which will allow the family court to take domestic violence into consideration when assessing the best arrangements for a child after a separation. It's stunning to think that, until now, perpetrators have been granted ongoing rights because our legal system has placed a perpetrator parent's right to see their child above the safety of the child.?

Domestic violence advocates will keep a close eye on how these changes take effect. But beyond this we need a whole of community shift to understand the very real danger that DFV perpetrators pose to children. Barnardos surveyed more than 100 DFV survivors who had experienced family violence as a child in 2022. The results were a clear demonstration of the enormous impact this has on a child. From relationships to education to mental health, the presence of violence in their homes impacted them for the rest of their lives. As one respondent commented, "I was in fear for my life. I didn’t learn boundaries of relationships. I didn’t learn right from wrong. I didn’t learn self-care. I didn’t learn skills like using a washing machine.”

For many of the survey respondents there was a clear theme that, while they told someone about what was going on at home, they weren't believed or supported. This speaks to the central issue here - recognising children as equal victims who have their own needs. As another victim-survivor wrote, "The first time that an adult told me that it wasn’t my fault for provoking my family members was at the age of 17."

I want to acknowledge these brave survivors for sharing their stories with us. Sadly, for the toddler who was murdered in Lismore this week and other child victims like Luke Batty, they will never be able to speak their truth.?