How can we grow through a Crisis?

Crisis! The very word gives us a cringing feeling as it takes us down memory lanes to times we don't want to be reminded of. For some of us, it's right now with the mass layoffs, tough finances, health situations, social unrest, public confusion and even political hatred. For some, it's the tough roads that they walked in the past, alone and helpless. Nevertheless, among us walk many who were forever broken while many who were able to somehow pick themselves up and carried on successfully.

As part of our mission to equip people in their endeavors to achieve their life goals, my team and I have been serving our community to inspire people to grow through tough times. My goal here is to share a few things that are helping us. We're not perfect, but we're growing.

Here's how our friend Google defines the word "crisis".

I prefer the second definition more where it talks about making an important decision. The truth is that all of us will face some crisis situations at multiple points in our lives. And in those moments we always have a choice, no matter how much one might disagree with this. It's the choice of being a victor or a victim, which depends on the perspective through which we see and understand the world. If you choose to be a victor, keep reading..

Here are 6 action points to start working on if you want to grow through your situation right now:

1. Face reality

Be transparent with yourself and your loved ones about the the hurt, anger, and pain that you're experiencing. Give yourself the permission to express yourself in a way that doesn't hurt others. Many times, it's not our situation but having to pretend that everything is "fine" when it's really not, that intensifies the hurt.

2. Avoid blaming yourself

This is tough, especially for the industrious ones among us. We want to hold ourselves accountable to a higher standard of excellence, but an untrained mind can very easily slip into the realm of dangerous feelings of self-blame and self-pity. And what's worse is the endless loop of these unproductive feelings, caused by a pseudo sense of righteousness that may come from judging ourselves (and others) for not doing the "best" all the time. We can get overwhelmed in a way that clouds our critical thinking ability when we need it the most.

3. Look for lessons

Now because you're still reading, I'm assuming that you have an intention to grow and not just coast through suffering. Pick the attitude of a possibility thinker and challenge the challenge by looking at everything that you can use from this experience to your advantage.

When life throws lemons at you, don't make lemonade. Make hot fudge sundae and let them figure out how the heck did you do that.

A quick exercise that comes to my mind is listing down 10 things that you learned from this situation, that are making you a better person moving forward. I know looking at the positive side of things can be boring sometimes, especially when we have a culture of pop music, movies and media that celebrates misery. It feels comfortable to be powerless sometimes, as it relieves one of their personal responsibility to try harder. But trust me, the endeavor to find lessons is worth it in the long run.

4. Have a plan

Now that you know you've learned a few lessons, let's come up with 10 ways you can beat the challenge and come out of it successfully. Don't just think about it in your head but write it down; literally take a pen and write on a piece of paper. Use the simple framework below if you like - where you are, where you would like to go, and 10 possible routes for going there.

Two thing that are absolutely key for your plan are,

• your honesty with yourself about where you are and what needs to be done.
• your ability to make definitive decisions

5. Work your plan

Many people make a plan, but committing to it and seeing through the outcome of success/failure is another story. The world is full of people who plan but never execute, talk but never walk. Start working everyday towards what you think even remotely helps you progress with your plan. If you fail, no problem. Try again with next plan. Do not give up until you have exhausted all your options. Here, at the cost of sounding cliche, I'd say that self-faith is paramount when it comes to taking action. Your goal is to get out of the crisis whatever way you can.

6. Ask someone to help you

You don't have to fight your battles alone. There is no single-handed victory ever. Every champion has multiple people who gave them a hand through their journey. Every leader has a team. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of a good self-image that brings clarity on how the world really works.

Just remember to ask for help from people who themselves are not part of the problem or aren't in a similarly bad situation. They should be emotionally detached from the situation. This is assuming that they have enough credibility/rapport with you. After all, I won't seek help on my critical soccer skills in the middle of a serious game from my mom (I love her but she's not the most credible soccer coach.)

So there we have it; 6 steps that to my recollection have helped me and many people I work with. Big or small, we all have our own set of crisis. When a crisis becomes a challenge, that's when we have an opportunity to grow. Don't depend too much on motivation and determination as they are often overrated. Instead develop a good attitude towards every situation and systems to solve problems in life. What happens to us may not be in our control, but how we respond to it and what happens within us is a choice. Having that choice in our hands, in my opinion, would be true freedom.