How Can We Emulate Christ's Love by Practicing Attentive Listening?

How crucial is it for a believer in? Jesus to excel in listening skills? Do our interpersonal abilities matter? To answer these questions, let's first establish what we mean by social skills.

So, What Do We Mean by Social Skills?

The most basic interpretation of social skills is "the abilities required for fruitful social communication and engagement with others." This encompasses spoken, unspoken, written, and visual aspects. Effective social skills enable us to communicate proficiently and potently, influencing our relationships directly.

When we consider our role and mission as believers in Jesus, our social skills acquire a timeless significance. How efficiently do we convey the message of the gospel? Reflect on your language, gestures, responses, reactions, and your body language. Do they support or obstruct your aim of demonstrating Christ's love to both non-believers and our fellow believers?

The encouraging fact is that social skills can be cultivated and enhanced, particularly when we seek wisdom from the ultimate source, God's flawless Word. God is a supreme communicator. His interpersonal skills are unparalleled. The teachings and life of Jesus during His earthly existence, along with all the scriptures in the Word of God, provide a flawless model for us to follow as we emulate Christ's love.

Five Considerations for Enhancing Our Ability to Listen Effectively

1 - Prioritizing Listening to God is Essential

Attentive listening necessitates spiritual growth, self-discipline, and insight to genuinely comprehend another person's communication – attributes that originate from a personal connection with God. Spiritual advancement occurs as we broaden our comprehension of God's Word. Consuming, examining, and reflecting on Scripture – listening with a commitment to comply – yields the Spirit's fruit, among which self-discipline is paramount. As God's Word imparts His wisdom to us, our understanding of others enhances, enabling us to respond with His wisdom rather than solely our perspectives or impressions.

Make it a goal to listen effectively to what God communicates to you as the Holy Spirit illuminates your comprehension of the Word of God. Allow God to converse with you before you attempt to engage others. A practical strategy for improving listening skills is to reiterate what the speaker has communicated to ensure clear mutual understanding. We can apply this method by praying God's Word back to Him!

Colossians 3:16 (AMPC) – “Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish andtrain one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts.”

Proverbs 23:12 (AMPC) – “Apply your mind to instruction and correction and your ears to words of knowledge.”

Proverbs 22:17,18 (AMPC) – “Listen (consent and submit) to the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge; For it will be pleasant if you keep them in your mind [believing them]; your lips will be accustomed to [confessing] them.”

1 Thessalonians 2:13 (AMPC) – “And we also [especially] thank God continually for this, that when you received the message of God [which you heard] from us, you welcomed it not as the word of [mere] men, but as it truly is, the Word of God, which is effectually at work in you who believe [exercising its superhuman power in those who adhere to and trust in and rely on it]”

Hebrews 4:12 (AMPC) – “For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and shifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.”

2 - Embracing Humility is Crucial for Good Listening

Being a good listener demands humility. Have you ever caught yourself crafting a reply while the other person is still in the middle of their speech? Arrogance compels us to concentrate on what we plan to express instead of truly absorbing the messages from others. By listening, we demonstrate respect for others' viewpoints and thoughts, validating their worth in God's perception. We are instructed to put on humility (1 Peter 5:5), and akin to Jesus, regard others as having higher significance than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

In the book of Proverbs, the terms "word" or "words" appear over forty times; "mouth" shows up at least forty-six times. This emphasizes that our usage of words is a primary indicator of whether we are wise or imprudent, righteous or unrighteous. Pride blurts out impulsively; humility exercises control. The wise person will embrace humility, listen attentively, and thereby expand their knowledge (Proverbs 1:5).

Proverbs 18:2,13– “A [self-confident] fool has no delight in understanding but only in revealing his personal opinions and himself…..He who answers a matter before he hears the facts–it is folly and shame to him.”

Proverbs 17:27,28 (AMPC) – “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding has a cool spirit. Even a fool when he holds his peace is considered wise; when he closes his lips he is esteemed a man of understanding.”

Proverbs 29:20 (AMPC) – “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a [self-confident] fool than for him.”

3 - We Must Adopt God's Method of Listening

One of the most remarkable privileges granted to those who have committed their faith to Jesus is the chance to convey our heart's worries to the Father. God encourages us to unload all our worries and fears onto Him, as He genuinely cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). We are called to approach His throne to obtain grace and mercy in our times of need (Hebrews 4:16). This invitation is offered solely based on the accomplished work of Christ on the cross, who through His sacrifice, literally paved the way into God's presence (Ephesians 2:17-18; 3:11-12).

God delights in listening to the prayers of His children. He yearns to extend His grace to us (Isaiah 30:18). He has made Himself reachable and receptive to hear our prayers at any moment and from any location. When we approach Him with our troubles, we can be certain that He hears, listens, and has compassion for us.

As our ideal model, we should endeavor to emulate God's patience and empathy in our engagements and dialogues with others. Just as we yearn for God's face to be directed towards us when we pray, we should accord others that same focus and attention.

Psalm 40:1 (AMPC) – “I WAITED patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry.”

James 1:19,20,26 (AMPC) ?– “Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. For man's anger does not promote the righteousness God [wishes and requires].....If anyone thinks himself to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person's religious service is worthless (futile, barren).”

Matthew 7:12 (AMPC) – “So then, whatever you desire that others would do to and for you, even so do also to and for them, for this is (sums up) the Law and the Prophets.”

4 - When Listening, We Must Deliberate on the Timing and Manner of Our Response

An effective listener should evolve into a proficient "responder" to ensure the dialogue yields a productive result. Listening does not conclude when the other party finishes speaking. The objective isn't merely for both parties to express their thoughts and then depart, unaltered or without a deeper comprehension of each other. The way we engage in one conversation establishes the groundwork for the ongoing relationship we aspire to nurture, forming a bridge to convey the gospel and emulate Christ's love.

There might be instances where we may not need to reply to a remark but decide to address that issue at a more appropriate time, in a more suitable environment, and through a different approach. At other instances, God grants an opportunity to articulate words of grace and truth at the perfect moment. Our words mirror the Savior we profess to believe in and represent. They should always portray an accurate depiction of Jesus' character, even when the truth might convict or challenge the listener.

Ecclesiastes 3:7b (AMPC) – “a time to keep silence and a time to speak.”

Proverbs 15:28 (AMPC) – “The mind of the [uncompromisingly] righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.”

Proverbs 25:11(AMPC) – “A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

2 Timothy 2:14 (AMPC) – “Remind [the people] of these facts and [solemnly] charge them in the presence of the Lord to avoid petty controversy over words, which does no good but upsets and undermines the faith of the hearers.”

Ephesians 4:29,30 (AMPC) – “Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word norunwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).”

Proverbs 12:17,18 (AMPC) – “He who breathes out truth shows forth righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), but a false witness utters deceit. There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Exodus 14:14 (AMPC)– “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.”

5 - We Must Weigh the Consequences of Persisting as an Ineffective Listener

For some individuals, attentive listening comes intuitively as their personality is less inclined towards verbal expression. Others might believe they have little to contribute to a conversation, leading them to listen more than they speak. After all, God did equip us with two ears and a singular mouth!

Whether we naturally lean towards quietness or we are individuals who feel uneasy with silence and feel compelled to fill every quiet gap with words, mastering the art of genuinely listening to others is a challenging task. Nonetheless, for someone following Christ, this skill is essential to fulfilling our mission as God's representatives and ministers of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 2:18-20 (AMPC) – “But all things are from God, Who through JesusChrist reconciled us to Himself [received us into favor, brought us into harmony with Himself] and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation [that by word and deed we might aim to bring others into harmony with Him]. It was God [personally present] in Christ, reconciling and restoring the world to favor with Himself, not counting up and holding against [men] their trespasses [but cancelling them], and committing to us the message of reconciliation (of the restoration to favor). So we are Christ's ambassadors, God making His appeal as it were through us. We [as Christ's personal representatives] beg you for His sake to lay hold of the divine favor [now offered you] and be reconciled to God.”

In conclusion, our listening style can either attract individuals towards God or repel them. Even while endeavoring to share about Jesus, we may over-talk due to discomfort during the gospel's presentation. Are we overly focused on imparting information and beliefs, failing to pause and listen to the queries people are raising? Proficient listening abilities can aid us in slowing down and lessening our eagerness to secure a convert. Rather than incessant talking, we ought to listen to what the other party is expressing about their own feelings and their spiritual journey's state, placing trust in Jesus' assurance that the Holy Spirit will provide us the right words at the appropriate time.

Effective listening communicates to others that they are important to us, and it signifies their worthiness to God. Just as God attentively listens to our prayers with a heart filled with compassion, we need to learn to listen beyond just our auditory senses. Let us exhibit humility by opting for silence often, and when we do choose to speak, let's ensure our words are well-timed and foster life, hope, and peace in the listener's heart.

Proverbs 18:21 (AMPC) - “ Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].”

If You Have Ears To Hear, Then Hear It!