How can we embrace uncertainty with hope in 2023

What are your wishes for 2023?

Have you made already a list for your goals, wishes or nice things to have in 2023? Or maybe you are so overwhelmed by the events of the last years, that you prefer not to make any plans at all and just go day by day. Because it’s better to be disappointed by having things the same, than facing the unknown, right??

I used to make new year resolutions and then just forget about them. When I review them years after, many of those written resolutions came true, but not necessarily at the timing I was aiming for.??Maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself, I was aiming for too many things in a too short timeframe, or I would just wish to be healthy, because I held the belief that without health you cannot really enjoy much, but recently I have realised that as much as health is important, as human beings to feel fulfilled we need to nurture more aspects of our life (and these can also be our pillars when our health for example is weakened or facing uncertainty).?

One great tool that I can recommend is The Wheel of Life, a tool very often used in life coaching to help the client navigate all significant areas of life and decide on where they want to be and take steps towards there.?

The Wheel of Life covers 8 main areas: Health, Family&Friends, Personal&Spiritual Growth, Environment, Romantic relationships, Career, Finances, Hobbies / Recreation.?

When I first came across this, I only then realised how much I was restricting to build my life and allow myself to dream and envision things and situations happening for me, bringing joy, fulfilment into my life.??I must admit that I still have the tendency to focus only on health (because I came to learn through life experiences how fragile life is, but it’s part of being human), but now I am allowing myself to dream bigger and cover all areas.?

There are many ways to set goals or new year resolutions, and one that I like the most is to focus on a key word for the new year. Like a mantra if you want that will define your year, one word you will remember and define how you show up to life brings into your awareness.

For me, the chosen word for 2023 is HOPE.

Because without hope, how can one dream big, push through uncertainty, and continue to move forward when there is no confirmation that is the right way.?

For me HOPE stands for

H-human

O-options

P-possibility

E- empower??

With the events happening, the pandemic, the war in Ukraine, oppression of women in Afghanistan, in Iran, and not only, hunger and poverty in many countries of the world, a possible recession knocking on the door, inflation, we are being constantly reminded that we are human. With the full spectrum of emotions that this entails and the advantage of being human stays in the power of having choices on how we want to show up in the world, how we want to behave, what values we want to live by, how we want to embrace our emotions, vulnerabilities, insecurities, anger, frustration.

For me, being human means that I can continue to use my creativity, my dreams, my vision for how I want my life to be spent here on earth. It means also focusing on what I can control, meaning myself and how I choose to respond to what is happening in the world. And I choose to remind myself that I am also human, with strengths and weaknesses and that irrespective of what is happening around me, I can still hope of also manifesting in this world my dreams and desires. Because we all come here for a purpose that sometimes takes a lifetime to discover. And if you have a look at history, you can see that being here today, it’s also a result of your ancestors that fought for their dreams, their vision, their freedom, even when those were denied based on their lived reality. You are here today, because despite turmoil and fight, we as a collective humanity, were able to push forward, from a higher vision.??

Today is your turn to create a vision that is from your higher self, from a place of hope that can break through uncertainty and reach the possibilities that can be created, for you and generations to come. Because being human also mean legacy and relying on past, present, and future generations to bring forward humanity.?

When you start to create your life, not from the place of your current circumstances, but the place of where you want to be and who you want to be, options and possibilities start to emerge in your awareness. You start to feel hopeful, positive about the future, about the continuation of life, purpose.?

To start envisaging those options and possibilities, you must allow yourself to get slightly comfortable around uncertainty. Because the rational mind (the brain wants to keep you alive, not happy), will always pop-up questions like: But how will I do that? How will I know this will not fail? What if I fail? What if this will destroy my career, my life? What if everything goes bad? And they are legitimate questions but are not the questions that will help you move towards options and possibilities.?

Uncertainty is defined by Oxford dictionary as?“a situation in which something is not known, or something that is not known or certain”.??A very simple definition and I invite you to notice how much emphasis is put on the knowing. And the knowing is nothing else than the rational part of the brain, the reason that we make based on the things that are already familiar to us. So, remember each time you are uncomfortable with the uncertainty, because the positive in this is that you are learning something new if you allow yourself.?

Thanks to a webinar I was able to listen to (while doing some house cleaning, women, and multitasking), with the curtesy of Marta Abramska, a coach that has contributed to the lectures of Animas, coaching school I have attended, I became familiar with a notion I want to share with you, that of Safe Uncertainty and Unsafe Uncertainty. Going a bit deeper into this notion that really sparked my interest, I came across this graph, that depicts very well where our zone of creation (and adventure lies), as well as why we might feel stuck (although feeling comfortable with the situation, not fulfilled).?

Graph presented from?https://leadershipforchange.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/Safe-Uncertainty-Handout-v1.pdf

When reflecting on how you could manage the uncertainty around the future, around change, around doing things you did not do before, why not trying to map first where are you on this graph? The ideal is to reach that point of Safe Uncertainty, where you still get out of your comfort zone, but also limit the possibilities of entering the danger zone (especially if you are a risk adverse person, but you still have big dreams that you don’t want to leave unturned).?

Reflecting on these zones of uncertainty can help you to start creating those options and possibilities, by listing where things feel uncertain, but also where things feel full of possibility.

By allowing yourself the adventure, by considering that there are risks and acknowledging and preparing for them, you are already better equipped to embrace the new than before, because you start to see the possibilities and options you can create for yourself and from that point, there is no turning back.

When you start to get that glimpse that you are surrounded by possibilities, you will not allow yourself anymore to feel stuck in the safe certainty, because you are meant to grow and evolve.?

Last word from my HOPE acronym, is E-empower. And that is what you will feel when you start visioning those possibilities for you. When we allow ourselves the possibility to create options, we empower ourselves, because we get a sense of control over our lives, our future, despite the surrounding uncertainties. When we feel empowered, we will also have the energy and the means to empower others around us and create that environment we want for ourselves. Empowered means acknowledging the uncertainty and having the trust, the belief that you have what you need to navigate it.?

I hope these ideas give you a picture of how to create possibilities for you, despite uncertainty for 2023 and that the Wheel of Life helps you to map your significant areas of your life you want to focus on.??I hope with these words, it is clearer to you that feeling stuck, being stuck, is a choice and not a sentence. When you become aware of why you are stuck, staying there remains a personal choice and not a constraint.?

If it feels too much to start with big goals, pick a word that will be your mantra for 2023 and practice living it while you move yourself to that higher self you aspire to become.

No matter how big the challenges or change may look to get where you want to be, remember it all starts with one hopeful step and it’s a life journey. After this, remember you are human, you have options and you can create possibilities for you when embracing the unsafe certainty, that will empower you to keep going. And do dream about your health, relationships, career, finances, environment / the world / social, family&friends, hobbies. Life is like a rainbow, and we need all colours to paint it.

I will leave you with these words of Carl Jung, that for resonated a lot with:

"But you grow if you stand still in the greatest doubt, and therefore steadfastness in great doubt is a veritable flower of life.

He who cannot bear doubt does not bear himself. Such a one is doubtful; he does not grow and hence he does not live. Doubt is the sign of the strongest and the weakest. The strong have doubt, but doubt has the weak."

As for me, I choose to feel hopeful for 2023, because I am human, and I know I have the options to choose who I want to be, to create the possibilities I want to see in this world and to empower others to do the same.?

If you want to work with me as your coach in 2023, write me a message and we can plan a discussion for January and start as early as you feel ready!

I wish you a hopeful 2023, where uncertainty will be less of a threat and more of a challenge that you will take it as an adventure!?

Happy New Year!

La mul?i ani!

Bonne Année!

E gudde Rutsch an d'neit Joer!