How can I start a networking conversation authentically?

Over the years, people have asked me for advice on networking. Specifically, they’ve asked what the ‘best’ way is to strike up a conversation with people you don’t really know well, but in a way that yields the ideal outcome of them responding to you in the affirmative.

And, mind you, they’re asking for such advice from a self-professed introvert! ????????♀?

(I’m not saying that introverts can’t be effective networking, nor am I saying that extroverts are better people to ask for advice with this topic.)

But, it is always a bit interesting because I’ve definitely settled into my approach of what works when striking up connections with strangers both in person and more frequently, in online spaces.??(And believe me, they do not involve pushing to the front of the line, making everyone know that I am here to meet them. I'm much more subtle.) ??

And because of my work in the recruiting profession for many years, I’ve been the “middle person”?helping people get in the same circles with others they’ve always wanted to meet, along with brokering an unexpected intro between parties who might not know of each other yet (but I know that they should meet).

From this unique vantage point, I’ve seen approaches that have ranged in effectiveness and wanted to share a few insights here.

Finding the words to start a conversation can be tricky. I’ve found that it's more fruitful to think about the reason why you’re contacting someone than jumping right into the ask of helping you with your request.

For example, if you share a common bond, say, both attended the same university or are a part of a volunteer organization focused on a topic you’re very passionate about, use that as an entry point to conversation. Though I’ve shared broader concepts to keep in mind when networking here on LinkedIn previously, I realize I haven’t talked that much about what you can say to people when striking up the conversation in networking.

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??Here are a few examples of ways to bridge the conversation, building upon the different reasons to reach out and suggestions for dialogue when taking that first step:

? Opening with Mutual Benefit: "Hello [Name], I hope this message finds you well. I've been following your work in [their industry/role], and I believe we have a lot to offer each other. I'd love to get to know more about what you do and how we can support each other going forward."

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?Common Ground: "Hi, Name, I see we both [mention the experience or person in common]. Thought it would be great to connect with others who [share the same passion for the topic or have worked alongside someone I’ve admired]."

?Invitation for Insight: "Hi, [Name] - I’ve admired your work in [their industry/role]. I’m currently facing a challenge related to it, and believe your insights could be very helpful. Would you be open to a brief chat?"

?Compliment their Work: "Hi there, [Name], I recently [read your article/post on [topic] or saw you speak at [name of conference] and am such a fan. I found your insights very valuable. I believe there are some parallels with my own work, and I'd love to discuss it further, if you have some time?"

?Referral from a Connection: "Hey there, [name], [Mutual connection] mentioned that I should reach out to you. Given our similar interest in [field/industry], I thought it would be wonderful to connect with another person in the field."

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These are just a few examples to get the thoughts flowing on your networking approach. Of course, beyond the words you choose to break the ice, it’s important to keep the conversation going, remembering that people are busy and that it often takes a few nudges to get a response. Don’t give up on the first try, and make sure you’re creating an opportunity so that it’s easy for them to respond and want to help you.

??What has worked for you when initiating a networking conversation? Is there a certain approach that has been helpful to you when reaching out to a not-so-close contact? I’d love to know. Please comment below.

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