How Can I Know if an Apology is Sincere?

When I give talks about effective apology, I can usually anticipate what questions attendees will ask.? In the next five posts I will reveal what the five most common questions about apology are.? This one is probably the most common. Here's my response.

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Q: How can I know if an apology is sincere?

A: You can’t. No one can be certain of what's in another person's heart or their intent. So there's no point in worrying about what's out of your control. The good news is that there is a lot you can control: you can make decisions based on the apologizer's words, tone of voice, body language, your shared history, the quality of the restitution, and, most of all, the offender's conduct in the days and weeks after the apology.

Only time will tell if an apology is sincere. The apologizer’s words combined with nonverbal clues will give you some evidence. Look to actions. Remember, apology is a verb. Look to concrete actions. Offenders cannot talk themselves out of offenses they acted their way into.