How can I help you?

If you’re like me, this statement is so commonly said to you that it has reeled itself into the territory of hello and how are you. Some people, when ask how you are, mean it from a genuine place and are interested in the outcome. More often than not, it is and feels like a place holder for a surface conversation to mimic bonding and rapport, without actually making any effort to connect.

 

In Sandler, we train the art of the pattern-interrupt. How are you, hello, and how can I help you are all social patterns that carry with the statement the infuriating and programmed reality we’ve associated with them. It switches our minds into autopilot. The how can I help you triggers memories on long waiting calls with a large organization that runs its own call centers (typically in a substandard manner).

 

If you want to have successful engagements with other people under both personal and professional circumstances then you need to make it a priority to break the cycle of expectations. If someone instigates you with a patterned response, how can I help you?, I’m not sure if you can is an easy way to disarm and disengage their pattern into a conversation. If you are engaging someone, maybe start with some variation of, “did I catch you at a bad time?”

 

What you do to break the pattern of engagement and make the situation matter will increase your effectiveness and revenue. Reach out if you have some standard engagements that you see routinely fall into a pattern and I’ll let you know if I can help.

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