How can I help?

Over the years, I have watched quite a few medical dramas. Some are good, some not so much. But, they all expect you to suspend reality for a bit while the staff solve a complex medical mystery in the space of 40 minutes. Decisions are quick and sure - not so much like real life. In the middle of last year, we started watching another one on the recommendation of our college age daughter.

New Amsterdam is an NBC medical drama that began in 2018. The main character is Dr. Max Goodwin who arrives at the hospital, New Amsterdam, as the new Medical Director. He is tasked with improving the hospital's reputation and efficiency. Immediately, the tenor of the show "felt" different. Instead of the normal cast of high-performing, self-confident, and sometimes arrogant doctors fighting each other for recognition, I sensed humility. Primarily, this came from Dr. Goodwin, but as the show continued I noticed it from other characters as well. But, why?

Can vs. How

As with any medical drama, the characters encounter stressful situations as they deal with critical patients and worried family members while at the same time feeling the pressure to do more with less. In other medical dramas, when the stress gets high, a main character generally enters the scene, takes command, issues orders or commands and order returns. Not necessarily so with New Amsterdam. When the staff face an organizational or process challenge, you immediately notice a different approach by Dr. Goodwin who, with humility, asks his staff:

How can I help?

Now, yes, there are times when he steps in and makes an important decision that needs to be made without much input. But when he asks this question, it is BIG!

Why?

The importance is in the "How" instead of the "Can".

Most people would ask the question, "Can I help?" This is a closed end question which makes it very easy for the respondent to come back with a simple "Yes" or "No". By adding one word, "How", the question is different.

1. Encourages Dialog - The question now become open-ended which causes the person being asked the question to stop and think about the situation. From a communications perspective, it is awkward for people to answer "yes" or "no" to a question prefaced with "how". This subtle change encourages dialog.
2. Recognizes Competence - By not immediately offering solutions or simply asking if he can help, Dr. Goodwin is recognizing that his staff is competent. The staff are closer to the problem and may know exactly what needs to be addressed. He is acknowledging this fact and is encouraging input into the decision making process.

Early in the show, this approach bewilders other characters and catches them off guard. Eventually, they come to understand that Dr. Goodwin is genuine when he asks the question and, as a result, trust builds. His humility in openly recognizing the competence and ability of his staff changes the atmosphere of the whole hospital.

But this won't work in the "real world"!

There are situations where a decision needs to be made with limited dialog and external input. I get that.

However, in late 2019 I began asking this exact question in both my personal and professional lives. Did I notice anything different?

Absolutely!

I volunteer with Boy Scouts. Asking the boys HOW I can help has changed the way they answer. Instead of a quick yes or no, I get more detailed answers. This is critical when they are learning a new skill or are new to a leadership role. I am acknowledging that they have the ability to do the task. The difference is that I am allowing them to tell me where I need to step in and provide a little help.

Professionally, I have started asking this question of coworkers and team members. Again, I am acknowledging their abilities and asking them to invite me in where needed and to determine what is needed. It really does make a difference in the type of response I get. Interactions no longer include just deliverables, they also include more dialog around the "how" something will be accomplished.

So, for 2020, my question to you is: How can I help?