How can I heal from my childhood trauma?
Vandana Raj
I help Busy Moms to live Stress-free Life with Purpose and find Balance Within and in the World | Life Coach| Entrepreneur | ATD-ICF-CCE Certified Coach
We frequently undervalue the importance of our childhood experiences. We might sometimes overlook how our early experiences affect us as adults. Childhood provides the foundation upon which we create our personalities. It is how we comprehend our surroundings, as well as our relationships, emotions, and ideas.
Childhood trauma occurs more frequently than we may believe. According to some data, more than 60–70% of people have experienced trauma.
When we are young children, we often have a vague knowledge of what is going on and how it may devastate us as we develop.
However, we are continually exposed to the prospect of a traumatic incident. When we are adults, we can have a better knowledge of how it may affect us. We can also determine how a professional therapist can assist us in working through the issue.
To understand what childhood trauma is and how it affects us, let us begin at the beginning.
What is childhood trauma?
Childhood trauma occurs when children are subjected to uncomfortable or emotionally traumatic experiences. This may involve real or impending death, significant harm, or sexual violence. Childhood trauma may develop both when a kid encounters an incident and when a youngster is exposed to distressing situations.
This encompasses direct trauma exposure, witnessing trauma, and being exposed to trauma.
Common childhood traumas in children include:
Child abuse and neglect.
Exposure to Domestic Violence
Bullying and communal violence
Motor vehicle collisions
Natural calamities.
These traumas can cause discomfort. Mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSS) and post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD) may emerge.
What are adverse childhood experiences?
Each person is unique, and we all deal with unpleasant situations differently. However, certain occurrences can be distressing. These are the adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). ACEs are bad events that have long-term consequences for children’s well-being and health. Maltreatment, abuse, neglect, and living in a toxic environment are all examples of ACEs.
A poor childhood experience can have long-term consequences.
Physical health: Examples include obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and other health concerns.
Behaviours: Examples include alcohol and drug usage, eating problems, substance abuse, and substance use disorders.
Life potential: Examples include academic accomplishment, relationships, or jobs.
ACEs affect children socially, emotionally, and cognitively. While extremely difficult, overcoming childhood tragedy and trauma is possible.
4 ways to recognize childhood trauma in adults
Depending on the type of early childhood trauma, various symptoms or health problems may occur. However, some of the frequent repercussions of trauma may include those listed below.
Difficulty establishing healthy relationships
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Adults who are recovering from childhood trauma tend to engage with others in undesirable ways. Sometimes these contacts result in certain relationship behaviours. These may vary depending on the type of trauma they have endured and what they have learnt about others as a result of their early life experiences.
For example, if a person has experienced childhood neglect, they may believe they are unworthy of other people’s affection. This tendency emerges because it is what they were persuaded to think when they were younger, frequently by family members or friends.
As a result, these individuals may remain in relationships in which their spouse abuses and ignores them. They will not search for another relationship since they believe they do not deserve it.
Hyper-vigilance
This is a natural reaction for those who have been traumatised. A continual sense of peril characterises hypervigilance. For example, it might be a dread of being assaulted or trapped at any time. When an adult enters a new situation, they frequently become acutely aware of their surroundings. For example, they may be too cautious while meeting a new individual. They may also be hyper-vigilant in physical settings or circumstances. Regardless, this reaction is the product of early trauma.
Depression and anxiety
Aside from other mental health risks, childhood trauma can cause sadness and/or anxiety. These two diseases typically coexist and can leave a person feeling despondent and alone. If you are suffering from depression or anxiety, you should seek the advice of a mental health professional.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
PTSD is a mental health problem. PTSD develops once an individual is exposed to a traumatic experience. According to the DSM, it is classified as an anxiety disorder. People with PTSD frequently experience flashbacks to the event and are so bothered by their triggers that they go to great measures to avoid them. This causes additional symptoms, such as mood swings, flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks.
3 steps to help overcome childhood trauma
The repercussions of childhood trauma may appear irreversible. However, with the appropriate therapy, childhood trauma may be overcome and coping skills developed.
1. Recognize the trauma
The adult must recognise this particular childhood event as traumatic. It is the first step in understanding how the experience has affected them — and that it is okay. This will allow them to give meaning to their current troubles and make sense of them.
2. Be patient with yourself
Adults who have had a difficult upbringing are more likely to experience self-criticism and remorse. Some individuals may wonder why I act this way. What exactly is wrong with me? I could have dealt with it better. These mental patterns can cause despondency and dissatisfaction.
The important thing to remember here is that you are not to blame for what happened. Your childhood trauma has left a scar, and you’re doing everything you can to recover. However, like with other wounds, it is critical to allow sufficient time for proper healing. Be patient and gentle to yourself. Treat yourself as if you were a closest friend.
3. Reach out for help
Trust your loved ones for emotional support and understanding. In these circumstances, one of the most important factors is feeling heard, understood, and affirmed.
It is common to feel alone and lonely after experiencing childhood trauma. It’s common to believe that no one will understand or empathise. However, in actuality, nothing could be farther from the truth. If we give others the opportunity, they may become a valuable support system for us.
We must not overlook the need to receive assistance from a mental health expert who specialises in trauma therapy. A clinician can assist in the healing of these deep wounds, hence improving relationships. They can also help you discover harmful routines and coping techniques, as well as enhance your mental fitness.
Start healing
Childhood is an extremely sensitive phase in our lives. It is critical to recognise the influence of our history on the present. If we consider our lives to be buildings, our upbringing and the events that occur around them serve as the foundation.
The only way to discover who we are is to figure out who we are. This begins with examining the circumstances that shaped us into the people we are now. During this procedure, we will discover a wealth of valuable information to work with. It is critical to “normalise” trauma and be modest enough to go through it with treatment.
Ultimately, trauma is similar to a poorly healed wound. It requires time, care, attention, and consideration. Healing is possible regardless of the life events you have suffered.
Founding Partner@Neo Wealth Partners II Active Contributor in Lake Conservation II Heartfulness Meditation
4 个月This is such a touchy topic as so often brushed under the carpet Vandana Raj Childhood traumas impact our adult life much more than we wish to acknowledge.